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Working Moms

How do you tell a manager that the reason you don’t ask them questions is because when you’ve asked them questions in the past they try to short answer you and then don’t give you an actual answer or try to help you in the least amount of way? I have asked her questions on training items that she didn’t really help me on in the past so I have struggled through a couple things with clients. She called me out on my time on this client and told me all of this in an EOD email.

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I am sorry you are navigating all of this. This year has us all under a lot of stress. Balancing all of our roles is difficult without the added stress this year has added. Your feelings make a lot of sense. Sending you lots of encouragement! With your boss, I would take full ownership of the mistake. Reply to the email, acknowledge you have heard what she said. “I understand my work with this client was unsatisfactory, I would like to fully understand why so that I can learn from my mistake. When is the first opportunity you have for us to spend 30 minutes together to discuss?” During the meeting I would ask for specific examples. If she short answers you, I would push back and ask for more clarity. If you can suggest two viable scenarios and ask her to articulate why she would prefer one over the other. It is probable she doesn’t have good tools around giving feedback which means you are going to have to pull it out of her. Try and rely on your working style. For example, I tend to be analytical it helps me if you can provide details, so I can apply this advice broadly. If you haven’t done a personality test 12 Personalities is a good one and the free version online addresses strategies for work. www.12 personalities.com Personality dynamics are hard, try not to take it too personal, as difficult as that is. It is really easy to be hard on ourselves. So a reminder, you are worthy and you are enough, and you are smart. You will navigate this well!

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It’s okay I didn’t word it right. Yeah I’m at the point where I’m at a total loss, burned out and I’m already down to part time hours so I can’t really do anything to help right now

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That I should have pushed more back on the client and that I should have gone back to her for help. I already feel like crap this week because I feel like I can’t do anything right with my daughter and working and taking care of her. I feel like a total failure at work and at home and I’m at the point where I don’t even know if it’s worth working with this stress

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Been in a similar situation. When I did try to ask questions to get more guidance on expectations I was either given the impression that I am dumb for asking or that I am smart enough to figure out everything myself. When things start to backfire the manager swivels out of the situation. And of course then I deserve bad ratings too. Given that the senior leadership likes her there is no other way out. So I hear you and apart from trying to avoiding work with her you may not have a lot of choice.

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I get it. I just let it get to me too much and feel as though I get can’t do anything right when I get emails like this. And now my next week is going to start with me explaining that I can’t seem to do my job well or at all and I’m just burned out with everything that I’m almost numb

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Probably shorten that reason up, too long.

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