How do you tell your friends that you don’t want to talk about compensation anymore? Background: One of my best friends and I went through undergrad consulting recruitment together and were always talking about offers, salaries, first year bonuses, etc. Now we’re a older and both have partners, I don’t really want to talk about exactly how much our bonuses are or how much money we have in the bank. I thought we’d just grow out of it, but I guess not?

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If you’re not comfortable talking about that, just say it. There are some friends of mine that I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with because it feels like a competition. There are others that I totally feel comfortable taking with about it because we come from similar backgrounds (children of immigrants), and sharing is more so about giving each other data points that we can use when negotiating compensation. You’ll learn as you get older that all of your friendships are built differently and the only way to keep those relationships strong is through open clear communication about the good and the bad things.

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Yea, those types of discussions aren’t really productive. Just don’t give in and share yours, she’ll get the hint. I had a friend from the firm share salary raise and bonus numbers with me and ask me about mine. Knowing that our relationship wasn’t like that, I shared percentages. He pressed once, and I left it there, so he got the hint. I don’t think I’ll have to cover that again, but our relationship is fine 😊

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Eh I talk about salary but not NW. that’s off limits

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My friends know my salary not my bank, bonus or nw..

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Just tell them you feel crappy after you talk about it and you don’t want to do it anymore

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Just say you and your partner agreed to not talk about stuff like that

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