{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you walk away from creepy unsolicited sexual advances from people in your apartment?", "post_id": "6105dcec5b6bf2001e80d260", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

How do you walk away from creepy unsolicited sexual advances from people in your apartment?

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Conversation that went too long in my opinion but I do understand where you are coming from. The fear of retaliation just because you turn them down and or reject them. My excuse is that I'm always in a hurry, or I'm not from around here or just politely say I'm not interested

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“Please don’t talk to me that way again.”

Might need a TW but idk. I don’t know if I took the right steps but I feel so so disgusted and uncomfortable Context: Today I was leaving my parents apartment to meet up with a friend and I dressed nicely. We don’t live in a good part of town (projects) but I’ve lived here most of my life so I was used to it. A man (maybe in his 40’s) who always hangs out in our building (I think he lives here) essentially stopped me with his bike and started saying i looked nice, and etc. Usually I’d leave but he was kinda blocking the road with a bike and wanted to follow me. He proceeded to ask for my number and wasn’t very clear with his intentions, I wanted to say no, but I was thinking about what if he becomes violent, so I gave him my Google voice number and was trying to leave but it was still getting blocked. He tried to call it and I said it doesn’t take calls form strangers. Eventually people started walking by and he was being hush hush on things he was trying to ask like 1.) does it turn you on when someone masterb@tes to you 2.) have you been with a black man and then asked about size, and then proceeded to play the race card about how people my race usually don’t date them 3.) was saying how I looked 16 4.) trying to ask if he can see me before I leave and making sexual advances under the guise that he’s “curious” And all that time, I’m just thinking that if this goes wrong he can easy go mess my immigrant parents. So I’m scared and uncomfortable. He followed me half way to the train station. That’s when I remembered to whip out my imaginary boyfriend. I said I have a boyfriend and I really cannot accept any of his advances. He tried to say he can just fvck and be done, and I said, no, I can’t, I love my boyfriend. And I guess That was when he finally backed off. He asked to keep this a secret between the both of us. I’m not sure what that means. Like, don’t tell my parents or what? The entire time I was riding the subway to meet my friends, my mind was going through the most violent scenarios of potentially accidentally opening myself to sexual assault or the potentially pulling out weapons to threaten my parents. And I’m scared. What was I supposed to do?

It really disgusts me when a man won’t respect a woman in front of him asking him to stop, but will respect an imaginary man he can’t see (e.g. fake BF). This is not your fault and it shouldn’t be on you to manage his behavior… that said, what “should be” is not the world we live in. Next time I would firmly tell him up front “I have a boyfriend, and I’m on my way to see him now. Nice meeting you.” Then push your way past him and leave. Sure, maybe he calls you a bitch or follows you, and then you say “I already told you I have a boyfriend, please leave me alone.” Eventually he’ll get the picture (or you can call the cops / text 911). I would also text a friend and turn on location sharing. I’m really sorry that this happened to you and even more so that we live in a world where it’s for some reason on women to manage the behavior of aggressive and predatory men. Please also consider carrying mace in the future. 😞

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