How does a marriage survive when one partner hates the parents of the other partner to the point they wished the parents dead?  Is it even possible for the marriage to survive such one sided hate?

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Let's flip this around - can marriage survive when one partner lets their parents be awful to their spouse to the point that their spouse wishes those parents dead?

Either way, this would be something to work out with a marriage therapist.

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Hate is a strong emotion. If the in-laws are just unbelievably horrible to them, then maybe it’s justified? Otherwise, it’s hard for the marriage just because one person is so negative.

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I don’t like my in-laws and my wife doesn’t like my parents. Haha we get into fights about it but for the most part it works

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Depends on what the reasons are. My sister, for example, intensely dislikes her in-laws but has an otherwise strong marriage. But this is because her in-laws are merely annoying and occasionally intrusive, rather than toxic, violent, aggressive, abusive, disrespectful, or any of the other reasons why someone might hate their in-laws.

Following up here as since this post I learned the other half has NPD, narcissist personality disorder. It all makes sense now, the hate, the rage, the deep overreaction to the smallest thing. It wasn't anything my family did, or me, or anyone else, it's literally the mental illness. Not great, not at all

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