How does everybody handle clients that do not respect you and your judgment as an attorney? I am nearing the end of my first year as an associate, and I know I have SO much to learn still, but I work very closely with a partner mentor on everything I do to be sure I am not making rookie mistakes. I have a client that is demanding and indecisive (difficult combo) and keeps going back to the attorney that declined to take on her case and referred her to my firm. They are not communicating...

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Some clients are just difficult. I admittedly don’t have a ton of experience with this particular situation, but I do often incorporate my partner’s name to bolster client confidence in a decision. “Joe and I have been working on this/ discussed these options/ recommend XYZ.” I always avoid using “I think...” or anything uncertain with a client. I also cc the partner on client emails but you’re probably already doing that.

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Typically I have to explain the strategy and the reason behind what we’re doing and occasionally throw in the fact that this is a team decision not just my own conclusion. I always refer to ‘we’ ie. we discussed and concluded xyz. It’s silly an annoying but it’s something you’ll deal with at least for the next 5 years if not more. My supervising manager who is a kick ass attorney still needs to get a male partner in her trial cases just to make the client feel more comfortable. (Insurance defense).

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Not to sound too harsh, but if you’re a first year the clients are not totally in the wrong if they are sometimes going to the partner directly with questions. Yes they should include you in everything, but IMO you’re a bit early to be lead on most matters. Just ask to be totally kept in the loop - and even that is more than what many first years get!

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Eventually with experience you will just say this is the law these are the options this is what I’m willing to do and they’ll accept it. This is after thorough discussions totally hearing them out all questions asked and answered trying to accommodate their preferences and opinions but if it comes down to doing something you can’t stomach then you stand on what you believe

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Yeah, the key here is a mixture of humility and doctorly patience. Humility because you do know better than your client with regard to many things, or they wouldn’t need a lawyer, but that is not a reason to feel smarter than them or frustrated that they don’t see your point. They are better than you at many other things, and you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes to motivate them to act like they do. So don’t get frustrated, see it as just the pieces on the chessboard shifting and presenting you with a new situation to deal with. And doctorly patience because they do come to lawyers to solve a problem they have no qualification to solve, and they are in pain to even reach out to a lawyer, so often they will act out and you just have to keep your focus on how best to help them.

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With me effectively at this point, and the referring attorney and my mentor have been having to talk back and forth now. My attorney mentor is great and told me “I am going to get more involved in this, but I want you to lead still. I don’t want you taking a backseat to an old white man (referring to him and the referring attorney).” I appreciate his support and encouragement, but how do I get these people to have confidence in me so they stop going behind my back to the referring attorney?

Is this just the nature of some clients? Unhappy when they don’t get the exact answers they want? Or is my lack of experience maybe showing through more than I think? I want to have a strong and confident voice that clients can trust.

Honestly as a first year you probably shouldn’t trust your “judgment as an attorney” yet either. Keep your partner cc’ed on everything so the client knows someone else is watching / they will assume partner approved whatever you are sending them. (This is also to CYA.).

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