{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How does everyone see finances once married?", "post_id": "5f52a7c635cba5001a9114ce", "reply_count": 33, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "58f812c6c1ca28001625d328", "bowl_name": "Muslim Consultants" }

How does everyone see finances once married?

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We have separate accounts, but I am an authorized user on all of my husband's accounts. He doesn't have access to mine. His income pays for rent, travel, household expenses. Mine is mostly for myself and I also pay for childcare. I also tend to pay for my kids clothes a lot. We make roughly the same income though and alhamdulillah have enough disposable income where I don't feel uncomfortable paying for shared things with my own money. Also there's a Hadith about whatever a woman spends out of her own finances on her family is considered sadaqa 🤗

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I think this resonates most with me 👍🏼

Similar setup to a few others. I am a guy in my late 30s. My wife and I have been married for 13 years with 2 kids. We both make basically the same money now but for several years she made a little more. - all my money goes into a joint bank account. This pays for our mortgage and most recurring monthly household expenses. My wife has full access to this account but I don’t think has ever used it - we each have our own credit cards (largely because we have different travel / rewards preferences) - my wife also has her own bank account and pays for a lot of our day to day stuff like groceries, though many times I will too. Not a conscious decision but ends up being her more often - each time we’ve purchased a home, we have pooled everything we have together - she mostly pays for our vacations - we freely transfer money to one another’s accounts if need be / one person is low after a big purchase - we each have our own investment and retirement accounts but track the total as a big sum to track how we’re doing toward retirement - we have college savings accounts for each kid that I primarily contribute to and manage but my wife has also made meaningful contributions there - random other point: the day after Trump was elected we contacted a Muslim attorney to set up a will and estate plan My basic guiding principle for everything is that I want our kids to be provided for in any bad / worst case scenario. We are both 100% aligned on this priority.

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I don’t think any changes. But would just recommend talking this through with your spouse and revisiting regularly. There should be no secrets and no surprises about how either of you are spending money.

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She has her own money I don't need it

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My money is my money. His money is our money. Nuanced of course, but BAU expenses are his responsibilities. Leisure spend would depend on how much money he makes and affordability

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I agree C1, that’s Sunnah.

End of the day Islam gives minimum worst case guidance on this, placing the onus of responsibility on the man to guarantee rights of the woman. So long as you can uphold the rights of a woman and are in mutual agreement its all ok.

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We've got 4 accounts A joint account Each a personal account I savings account Each month we will put a large amount of money to pay the bills in the joint account Leave some money in the personal account just for leisure activities And save some money

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Joint account? 50/50? Does the man hold the main financial responsibility for the house? Something I’ve been reflecting a lot about and wanted to get perspective

I would prefer joint account, because my parents went about it in that manner

To add more, I feel like it brings the family together - make decisions together. Like even as a child it was like my money is your money with my parents. When they struggle financially, they struggle together too but just my 2 cents

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Building on this topic, I’d like to hear about the Mehr the husbands have paid at the time of nikkah and year of marriage?

If I can afford to, I’m happy to cover all expenses. If I can’t afford to, it’s gotta be joint accounts. And that’s the ideal scenario anyway for a happy, sustainable marriage.

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