How does one even begin to ask for an open relationship? Currently engaged.

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likefunny

If that’s the kind of relationship you need in order to be in a relationship, please have the convo before marriage. The conversation should start out hypothetical “this person is in an open relationship…what do you think of that” or some form of testing the waters. If they’re opposed and you’re ok with being in a monogamous relationship, you leave it alone.

likesmart

Don’t marry her, boom open forever

likesmart

I love when people assume OP is a guy not a girl

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There is always a story behind these asks. Need more details before you get advice. You’re playing with fire here. This isn’t for everyone.

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Here is a good book that explores such things

Listen to The Truth by Neil Strauss on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00RMFLY88&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006

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What’s the deal with engagement that makes people want to cheat all of a sudden?

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@consultant, it isn't. They're just freestyling and saying anything

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I would say talk about differences in drive and see if they are open but before you bring this up you need to decide for yourself if this is a dealbreaker for you that you had not considered before. I think for the most part in relationships there is always an imbalance in drive. So if you love this man and could totally be in a monogamous relationship if you both strive to meet each other’s needs great. But if you can’t, and he is not ok with an open relationship then it’s better for you to bring this up and end things now for both your sakes. But really think about it. Breaking up an engagement is a lot easier than a marriage especially if you want to adopt down the line or something. So basically figure out for yourself if this is something you absolutely need or just something you could want.

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Thanks for the thoughtful response. Yeah, I think it’s ultimately a want and not a need

Have you been monogamous or open until now?

Ahhh buddy you should have brought this up before the engagement.

Best thing you might be able to ask for is a semi-annual hall pass for out of state options maybe

You talk about it before you get engaged. If that’s what you really want!

But aware that your current partner may not accept this and you’ll need to break it off if you feel strong about this.

So here’s the situation: we’re gay and monogamous. No cheating to speak of. I just have a much, much higher drive. I also travel quite a bit. I realize a hand would suffice, but if he’s open to it I’d be open to it.

Honestly, if it's truly just "I simply want to have sex" I think it can work. I hate to go there, but if you're a gay male couple, another guy is much more likely to understand what you mean than a lesbian couple.

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