How does one go about finding a work mentor? There's a manager (who I don't report to) that's been really helpful and supportive. How do I start the mentorship convo?

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No need to say “will you be my mentor?” That’s kind of weird. Just do it.

likefunny

Ask the person to grab a virtual coffee. Chat about stuff they care about, ask if it would be ok if you checked in from time to time for advice. Almost nobody has ever said no to that question. And if they do, you don’t want them as a mentor anyway.

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Yep you are set!

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There’s an organic connection that also needs to take place, you can formalize it but generally when you find a mentor you just know. Otherwise the relationship will not be fruitful or genuine. If you meet someone who helps you out and seems to really want to see you succeed, then you’ve found yourself a mentor. I’ve also been learning a bit about sponsors vs mentors, look it up- it will be useful to have both in your career.

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There’s a very insightful chapter in the book Lean In about finding a mentor, approaching the relationship, and what roles they play - highly recommend you check it out!

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Someone I’d known for about 1.5 years and passively mentored asked me to take on a more formal mentor role. We had an existing relationship so it wasn’t weird at all. If someone who I didn’t have much of an existing relationship with asked, that would be a bit strange and I’d be reluctant to say yes. Mentoring is a legit relationship that takes time so there needs to be an existing relationship.

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These comments are all so helpful. Thanks guys!

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