How does one keep going in the face of multiple rejections and a strong sense of being unloved/undesirable? Dealt with this my entire life, re-evaluated my approach to dating, worked on myself, and yet even now it always comes down to “You’re a great guy, but…..”….even in instances where things start of very well.

I refuse to give up and be completely hopeless, but this is a very painful situation to deal with - more painful than it probably should be, I don’t know.

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I disagree with A1. I was terrible with women growing up and the two pieces of advice that turned my dating life around were: don’t ever think anyone is out of your league and there is always another woman around the corner. The first one helped because I used to get tongue tied around attractive women. Once I realized that no one was better then me; my dating life skyrocketed. Being attractive helps but confidence is what really brings attractive people around.

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Are you an interesting person with a social personality? I’m in my late 20’s now, I realized that I wasn’t that “interesting” because I kept a lot of my accomplishments and hobbies a secret. My point is don’t be afraid to Shine and open up about how Dope you are!! I bet you have a ton of amazing qualities.

My other piece of real advice as a 28,M, in Chicago - make sure you are shooting/aiming in your league. We may all want Margot Robbie, but that ain’t happening for 99.999999% of us. Cheers!

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Haha rest assured, I don’t pursue anyone “out of my league”. Maybe there’s something inherently wrong with me.

I have no idea. I’m female but every time I go out with someone, I get to the 2-3 month mark and ask for more and they always say “you’re great… but” after spending so much time together, laughing together, and getting along so well. I feel seriously used. Otherwise, I get slow faded. I used to think it was them, but now I feel like it’s me.

The last guy who dumped me even came over to hand deliver a letter letting me know he liked me, but was in a bad place, I was a light at the end of the tunnel, bla bla bla, wish he could have done more… THEN had a girlfriend the week after. I feel crazy. I am in therapy, took a year off dating, and I am a lot more confident but the fact it happens still is making me feel depressed.

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Have no words of advice except I totally relate. Recently had a guy I’d been seeing seeing for 2 months send a breakup text last to the effect of “this was really special but….” Followed by a lame excuse.
What’s exhausting is that the guys seem to put in so much more effort at the start, it takes me a little while to get attached, but the second I do they exit 🙄
The whole process is making me so bitter. I hate the apps but also don’t think I’d meet anyone any other way.. Very emotionally exhausting process and my self esteem is really taking a hit

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Perhaps speak with a third party (as in a therapist) and see if you can identify what it is—if anything. It could very well be you just haven’t met the right person yet. Either way, don’t give up on yourself. Because I truly believe there is someone for everyone. Really.

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FWIW, I’ve been told that same thing many times as well. I had just about given up hope and then out of the blue, I met the woman who eventually became my wife. So hang in there.

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I completely get this and understand where you are coming from, except for with me it's "you are a good woman" but then I end up getting hurt anyway. Being a good woman doesn't do a thing when people say it.

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Thank you for sharing - and I am sorry that you go through the same thing. I didn’t realize that women get friendzoned and rejected the same way men do.

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Having gone through something similar you need to look at what is common about the relationships you've had that are like this and think about how to avoid it.

I realized I was basically looking for the same type of person over, and over, and over again and it was bad for me. So I started basically a mental checklist and even if I was attracted or interested of they hit a few of the check marks it was a walk away. Since then found my partner, coming up on ten years with my spouse and two wonderful kids.

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The moment you learn to expect the worst from all aspect of life, you won’t have to worry about being rejected or unloved by people.

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This hits close to home

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