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I shared an idea yesterday that was nixed by the male leader. A few minutes later he SHARED THE SAME IDEA but in his own words and delivered it like it was some clever revelation. So I enthusiastically supported him. Figured as long as we get to the solution, right? I wish we had more women leaders, I really do prefer working for (some) of them.
I’ve had this happen so often to me. I did start saying “yes I agree that’s exactly what I suggested earlier!” I try to do it in a supportive way while pointing out that I also suggested it. I feel like a jerk doing it but I’m tired of letting it go and giving my male colleagues credit for my ideas. I’m maybe a little jaded because I’ve had so many male colleagues ask for my opinion via chat or email and then turn around and present as their own when they could have easily looped me into the conversation.
I’ve always worked with men and I’ve never had this problem. So maybe don’t go in thinking this. I would say you need to just present your ideas confidently. And be prepared to push back and answer questions if they doubt anything.
I struggle with this daily! Less with my manager and more working with large male dominated teams. I’m currently on a project where I’m the only woman with 9 male colleagues and I’m constantly gaslighted. I have my male colleagues giving me advice on staffing in my area of expertise and I have double the years of experience. I just turned 40 and I’m kind of over it so I’ve just been focused on my language. I’ve stopped using “I think” and I’ve pushed back on them way more. I also pointed out to the SVP that I am the only woman on the project (and usually any project in my division) and if he’s committed to inclusion and diversity he will recognize that and work to build a more diverse team and also acknowledge that it can be challenging to work with a team of all male leaders. I also asked him to elevate and validate my voice when he agrees with my suggestions so that he can set the tone for the team. It helps that I have worked with him elsewhere but I’m getting more comfortable being frank with all of leadership.
I am always the only woman. I love working with the males at my client. They treat me no different than the other guys. Make the same lame ass jokes with me and I have loads of fun with them. I am as much respected as the boys. I just don’t try to be a boy or anything. I am my authentic self. Talk about my lash extensions and giggle a lot actually and bring joy to the video conference calls. My advice just be yourself, people will love you if you don’t put up a fake mask.