How I stop feeling like a failure? Feel like I am disappointing/letting down everyone from family to colleagues. Like I suck at everything. Don’t know if I am twisting regular feedback into this...

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I’d suggest talking to a therapist to understand where this is stemming from. Often it’s due to what we experienced growing up. If we experience a lot of criticism as a kid, that inner voice becomes one of negativity and can follow through adulthood through self criticism (even if it’s not true). I wish I had an easy answer for you on how to overcome it but truth is, it’ll take some work to retrain your mind to react differently to situations and reframe your thoughts.. but it can be done.

Just know that you’re not alone in feeling like this and that how you perceive yourself is not necessarily the truth. We tend to be our own worst critics and can twist things to fit into this negative narrative to fit our perception of ourselves. You are NOT a failure. Failure / success are definitions we set ourselves and should not be based on other people’s expectations or else it’s very difficult to find true happiness

likeupliftingsmart

Those thoughts of failure you have on repeat in your mind are myths. Challenge the myths. I struggle in the same way. I remind myself, sometimes writing them out, of all the reasons I am valued and why I should treat myself gently. Chin up! You are not alone

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I totally agree with Manager 1.

And I would add this from another angle: in order to become good at anything we have to be ok with being bad at it for a while. Sometimes spectacularly bad. And that’s perfectly ok. Too often I think we believe that if we’re not good at something immediately then it means we’re a failure. And that’s not the case. Celebrate all the new things you try every day/week. Life is too short to worry as much as we do.

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... failure story in my mind. Maybe I just need to come to terms with my mediocrity. I don’t know, but I can’t stop feeling like this.

Are you experiencing imposter syndrome?

How far are you into your role/function/client? Remember, everyone sucks at something before they get good at it. And as Hemingway said, the first draft of everything is shit.

I told my therapist the same thing. She said our standards are too high and we aren’t failures at all. We distort our reality. Echoing A1 from above, try to do some reality checks when you start having these thoughts. Sometimes you need someone else to tell you these things though but my therapist also said I need to stop needing to be externally validated so much.

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