How important is intellectual compatibility in seeking a partner? Obviously deen, ikhlaaq and character are the top priority!

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It’s super important, I wish I didn’t overlook this. Your conversations could end up having no depth and that could be problematic if you’re a deep person, it’s like a part of you is missing.

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Not really, we have intellectual discussions when it comes to Islam - lots of hadith, fiqh debates so for me that makes up for it. I wanted someone who was more versed in Islam so it’s been an outlet for when I need intellectual stimulation to bond over. I do wish that I could have the same level of depth on other topics, he’s just not that into it and I had to learn to be flexible in that regard. For example, I’m super into tech entrepreneurship and strategies for exiting consulting and all he gives me is “cool, may Allah make it easy for you” 😂. But it’s taught me to look beyond some of my own selfish needs, pretty sure there are things about me that’s not complete/missing for him as well. Maybe you have to find a topic that you’re both passionate about and just keep in mind that your spouse can’t be everything and that’s perfectly fine. That’s why we have friends and other outlets. If I were to do it all over again though, I think i’d seek someone that I could explore countless topics with.

likeuplifting

I would say it’s a personal preference. It’s another attribute to add to the ideal spouse list for you if that’s meaningful to you. At the end of the day I’d say it’s your plan to spend the rest of your life with this person so it would be nice to have some traits other than the foundational traits (practicing Muslim, etc.).

uplifting

Haha you give me too much credit! JAK! Tbh I consider a practicing Muslim as the bare minimum. After that it’s nice to have someone who has some depth and can carry a conversation. InshaAllah you find the one who’s written for you!

likeuplifting

One of the most important criteria for me. I was with someone for a couple of years, and as nice and caring as he was, we weren’t intellectually compatible. I initially brushed it off because of how sweet he was and thought I should be grateful for that, but it started reflecting in a lot of important things over time.

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Unpopular Opinion, but some of us are NOT looking for a super-religious significant other

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Intellectual compatibility is still important though coz it feeds into everything else

It’s important to me since that’s one of my personal preferences

uplifting

It’s very important, how someone thinks feeds into everything else. Even their adherence to religion, how they treat others, everything. If you think about their religiosity, have they truly understood Islam or are they simply going through the motions just because? You’re going to have disagreements about a lot of things in a marriage, if you’re not on the same intellectual level, trying to resolve those disagreements is going to feel like bashing your head against a wall

Very, as well as emotional maturity

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