How is it to be a child of divorce?
Trying to see how much importance one really needs to assign to it to prevent that from happening to their future kids.

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I’m a child of divorce & have an interesting perspective. My father married the woman he cheated on my mom with & I resented her for years…my mom remarried to the nicest guy ever. As I’ve gotten older my relationship with my father has changed significantly when I was younger I didn’t understand why he left but now that I’m older & get it…I am angry. Angry my dad did that to my mom & that mom went through all of that heartbreak. Do what is best for all parties involved just don’t make your kids fight battles they shouldn’t need to because your marriage didn’t happen to work out. Also, my trust issues in past relationships have been spot on & my gut hasn’t been wrong so, there’s that. Whew. Sorry for the dump. 😬😬😬

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Commitment issues for sure

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How old are the kids? Do they understand the concept of a divorce? Was the divorce already on the horizon or out of nowhere?

I am a child of divorced parents. My dad was never really there. Not talking about recitals or practices, but I don't even think he remembered my birthday. My parents were separated first and the official divorce came later. Do I have commitment issues? Yes - but I would chalk all of it to the divorce. It's a world of plenty out there, and most are always looking for the "better things". I do have a more realistic / less romantic view on marriage though. I am glad my parents got a divorce. It's better off with a single parent than two unhappy parents forced to live under the same roof

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My mom divorced 4 times, husbands cheated, she did not accept it. So I have some experience. I think each divorce is very unique. Depends on the cause and how parents handle it and money issues. My experience was really bad because there was a lot of hurt, disagreements, messages sent tru the kids, not enough money etc. I have a friend that even tho her parents divorced her dad was always at her house for Sunday lunch! So a very different experience. I am 32 and single, given my granmas and my mom lack of luck I am really picky with men. I might never marry to avoid the heartache.

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Sorry for your experience and thanks for sharing

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My parents never divorced - but a part of me wishes they did. There were so many fights growing up and I feel traumatized from that. They stayed together but I dont think I'll be getting married.

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That's wonderful EY1 i hope to find a partnee that doesn't yell. I hate yelling because I don't want to be my parents

Yeah you bet I have them, can you blame me?

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C1 sending you love and warmth and free advice. You have one life. You’ve lived 1/3 of it. Don’t shut your heart to love. Let it feel what it feels. If you’re lucky you’re lucky. If not then so be it. You won’t even exist in 60 years. Hurt is part of life. I’m 29. I’ve had three surgeries till date grew up with severe adhd and lost three family members last year. Grew up poor. Do I want to spend the rest of my life shut out to feelings? Probably not. What you went through isn’t easy. But whatever you do - staying single or putting yourself out there just don’t lesve a chance for regret in the future. Good luck to you

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My parents divorced ( I'm South Asian Muslim).

My parents have never spoken, my mom's perspective was represented by her parents / siblings, they always prioritized me and I had very little trauma going up.

Helped my step mom was great, and I grew up with half siblings like an equal sibling.

Also helped the divorce happened before I have proper memory (i was 3 years old).

I am the (only) child of divorced parents but they divorced while I was in college.

They got married and had me very young and I am of the strong belief that even if you are married for 10-15 years it doesn’t need to be seen as failure because loving someone for your whole life is hard and people change. I had an awesome childhood and it still makes me teary when I think of our family. But I know they’re happier now. The divorce was a little messy and I wish the finances could have been handled better, but it’s fine now. The best thing they did was wait till I was in college and could fully comprehend it. I would have been absolutely devastated had they divorced when I was a kid because as an only child I was and still am close to them both.

My friend had a similar experience to LIA1 and it traumatized them and they have so many lasting issues because of it.

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