How long does it typically take for you to trust someone you work with? I thought my current manager and I were fairly close until I found out something shady he’s done a year ago.

likehelpful
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I stopped putting managers on a pedestal a long time back. Everyone is human, and they’d always end up doing something you either won’t like or respect.
As long as someone is behaving professionally with me, I’m fine with them.

likesmart

Ok you've got me hooked? what was the something shady

likefunny

Never. These aren’t friends, you didn’t chose to associate with them based on common values or a shared life mission, they are situational acquaintances, nothing more.

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I rarely trust anyone I work with 100% for this exact reason, especially bosses. You can have a genuine relationship and still not tell them everything. Also, what did he do? Gotta ask

likesmarthelpful

Never… lol.. workplace is inherently competitive and everyone is in it for themselves

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When you no longer work there. I have plenty of friends that I made after we worked together.

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The answer is never

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Lot of these people posting have a bit too intense view for my taste. I agree you have to be careful but saying never trust anyone is a toxic stressful way to live. I usually have 2 strikes out policy.

Give everyone benefit of the doubt the first time, know your worth but dont take shit either.

Personally, I don't care if someone has done something shady that is their business unless it is a serious crime.

What matters is loyalty and someone looking out for you. If your manager doesnt judge you and supports you. You should reciprocate as a good human. Now if they stab you in the back. Then all bets are off.

Never give too much value too soon. Piece meal it out see how you are treated. Holding the value cards close to the chest gives you a much stronger bargaining power (i.e. deep expertise, rolodex, IP, etc) that you withhold gives you force multipliers of leverage.

If I never trusted and reciprocated with people I wouldn't have the contacts and help I do now.

likesmart

Never trust anyone.

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Trust at work or trust with your kids, etc? What do you mean? I typically give trust to my coworkers in work context until they give me some reason not to. I barely know any of them on a personal level, so would I be okay with them watching my kid? Hell no

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Why does that change anything for you? Is it lawfully shady, morally shady or ethically shady? Do you know the details of it? Is it a personal matter or professional?

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Great question. My two cents: there is no there there, meaning there is no place of ultimate trust we can get to. We earn or lose trust everyday in the integrity or lack of integrity of our actions. That’s why I’m ask myself every day what actions can I take or what ways can I be to inspire trust?

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To me, it depends: is the “something shady” something that screwed you over, and are you sure you can trust the person who told you this? Unless it affected you personally, I’d give this person the benefit of the doubt; they may be embarrassed of their actions.

Whether intentional or not from time to time people share info they shouldnt. I generally don't share anything that I wouldn't mind others hearing. "Trust" in this sense is a non issue.

As for whether I trust them to complete a task/project as assigned? That truat comes with time, routine and pattern. Has this person shown themselves to be reliable over the last month? 6 months? Year? Are there other factors to consider like a new baby or a recent death?

Finally, trust in the sense of keeping their word. Proof is in the pudding. Until I see evidence in writing, I take a person's word or promise with a grain of salt.

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