{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How many kids do you want? Or have? I get the logic of having more than one so they can have siblings, but I’m curious why people decide on a specific number (2,3 etc.)", "post_id": "619c0da0188872002cdb9a30", "reply_count": 39, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5da60c126e5f0d001f32f497", "bowl_name": "Women in Law" }

How many kids do you want? Or have? I get the logic of having more than one so they can have siblings, but I’m curious why people decide on a specific number (2,3 etc.)

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I have 3 and it’s insane but I love it. We always said we would stop at 2 but after our second was born we just felt like someone was still “missing.” We had trouble conceiving the first 2 so decided to just let fate decide. We didn’t use birth control but also weren’t actively trying for a baby and after 2.5 years I got pregnant by “surprise.” It was different after our third was born - we knew our family was complete. 3 is tough, I won’t lie. My husband and I have very little downtime, especially now that they are all old enough to be in sports and activities. But, I love seeing their little unique personalities grow. They each have different relationships with their 2 siblings which is special. Our house feels happy, full and busy so 3 was right for us.

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Unpopular opinion but I don’t want any children. I’m here to tell any woman that needs to hear it that you don’t have to have kids if you don’t want to, and don’t need them to feel fulfilled. (This is not a criticism of anyones choice to have children, just sharing my experience for perspective).

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A friend of mine, age ~30, just lost her mom. She’s an only child. She said her grief is compounded knowing she alone carries her mom’s memory & no one loves her mom the way she did. She said she wishes more than anything she had a sibling, specifically to have someone to share this burden and to remember her mom in the way only a child can. I’d never thought of this before (I’m 1 of 5 & already have 2 kids) but I thought it poignant. It’s stuck with me.

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A9- no worries. I didn’t read that implication into it.

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I want 2....but we will see how willing I am after having the first one. Reasoning: want them to have siblings....but we also can't let the little gremlins outnumber us. So...2. 😂

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Same reasoning and I felt very confident that I should stop at 2 after feeling that both pregnancies wrecked havoc with my body and my mental health. Also kids are very needy and expensive and I wanted to give as much time and financial resources as I could to all my kids and that felt more manageable for my family with 2. You have one adult that can do alone time with each one, anything over 2 you lose that ability particularly if you are both working and don’t have a lot of free time. With the amount of money we have we can give both access to good schools, extracurriculars, trips, etc. and still be able to save for our retirement and their future financial needs (eg, college fund).

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I wanted 2 before having a baby, now I’m fine with just 1 🤣 they are A LOT of work and the birth and recovery were so painful! Although sometimes I think I should give my little one a friend/sibling but I’m not ready yet.

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3-5

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I just need the right man. Can’t wait to hammer them out.

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I want 4! I grew up in a house of 3 and I like the idea of a each having a buddy. Will see how I feel after baby 1....

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We have four and love the chaos 🙃

I want three or four, but I’m also getting older and I’m still not married so… 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Same!😭😭😭

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Don’t have kids yet, but am one of five. I want at least four so that they can easily pair off. I was often the odd one out on Disneyland rides!

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I want 3, have 2, and probably won’t go for the third. It’s too difficult to manage two plus working this job full time. I can’t imagine throwing another baby into the mix.

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I honestly want one because they are expensive but will probably do two so it can have a sibling. I don’t get why people have anymore than that lol

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2 is just right. It addresses the only rational reason for more than one - the reason you mentioned

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Haha. I want all of you to say how many you want after you have the first one. I just had my first and it’s nuts. I love him, but I couldn’t imagine getting everything done for him while having another a couple of years older. It’s complete chaos with one. Team effort from me and my husband. And we’re both on leave.

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I had three, but the first one passed away when he was little. The next two saved my life (emotionally and mentally). Yes, having one is complete chaos. That's why you go ahead and have another. . . It's chaos already, so no big deal. The older one helps keep the younger one entertained so you are able to do other things like cook dinner, laundry, etc. And while they are little, at least, it really doesn't cost that much more except for diapers and formula, because my youngest baby was able to wear the older one's clothes, play with all of the older one's toys, etc. My pregnancies and recovery were easy, so I was blessed in that regard. When you start having them, you will know when to stop.

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We have 2 and are good with that. This way we don’t have to buy a new car, new house, rent extra hotel rooms on vacations, worry about someone having to ride a rollercoaster alone, etc. Man-to-man coverage is way better than playing zone defense!

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This 👏🏽

0. I want to be convinced otherwise (just because of a general fear of regretting not doing so) but still haven’t been.

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Totally agreed, we have no plans to reproduce for that reason. The regret of having kids and having our lives totally changed is definitely scarier.

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I have four and never planned a specific number. Our life is crazy and chaotic but we love it 😍

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I think a lot of us make game time decisions -- Had 1, how's the body? How's the stress? How are the finances? 2 is gonna be fine! And then after 2 you make the same checks -- How many of the next 3 years do I want to interact with diapers? and you go from there...

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3 because I’m in a lesbian relationship. On with my egg, one with my partner’s egg and one adoption 😊

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I've told my fiance I only want one, I'm honestly terrified of how my mental health (not to mention career) will suffer going off my SSRI and ADHD meds more than once. I know people have hangups about only kids (as one of two, I don't really get this since my brother is enough younger that we weren't *besties* growing up anyway) but I don't trust myself to be a good mom for more than one munchkin. Plus, given our ages...you just never know about the fertility potential, and ya girl is risk averse. :P

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