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My presence is your present
Depends on how close you are to the couple
Chief
👆 and that’s the right approach. You want the wedding of your dreams, you design and pay for it yourself. It’s not on everyone else to finance your tastes. What they can do is show up and participate (including whatever dress codes, customs, etc you dictate), celebrate with you, and commemorate the occasion by getting you a gift. Ideally it’s something tangible off the registry to help the new couple put a household together, so that when they use those knives or pans six years later, they’ll remember their wedding and think of you. But increasingly, and especially for couples who may not need material items like that, people are chipping in to a honeymoon fund or making charitable donations. But it’s still ultimately about you and your circumstances and your relationship with the couple, and not a function of the cost of the wedding.
I was planning on $500
Depends on how much you make honestly. I’m getting married in a few weeks and we’ve been getting $400-$500 from our NYC friends and around $100-$300 from our non-NYC friends who I know make less
Chief
Forgot to add, also depends how old/established/well-off the couple getting married is. I’d give 2-300 to a couple of 25 year olds to help start their home. Not forking it over to a couple of 45 year olds who already own three properties.
If I’ve known them for years and we’re close $1k-3k (depending on if it’s like a childhood friend, Soror or just a friend). If I barely hang w/ them I max out at $250 on a gift. Either way, I make sure to give any couple a Michael Aram gift ( TRUST ME, you can’t go wrong w/ any of his pieces) or even HomeGoods gift cards.
I match whatever the couple paid for my wedding. It was on average $300-$400 per couple.
Pro
It was about $300 for a couple that we got. I kid you not some people showed up without a gift.