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I told my now husband then boyfriend that I didn’t care how much he spent and that I don’t need an expensive ring (I specifically told him to not get a loan for it). We ring shopped so he got a feel for my style but I wasn’t expecting him to spend a lot of money esp bc he had recently graduated from grad school and started a lower paying public service job. He secretly saved up for a year and worked with a local jeweler to custom design my beautiful af ring and in total spent around $9k (which is still a LOT).
I’m not entirely sure why rings cost $20k+ but a lot of it has to do with the diamond - and personally I don’t think huge, very clear, blemish-free, excellent cut ones are worth the price tag. A lot of them with decent stats already look brilliant. However, we also don’t that kind of money so perhaps it’s worth it for folks that can afford it!
I will say that non-round diamonds tend to look bigger for the carat/cost, so that’s something to consider! (eg, oval, emerald, marquis)
Best wishes to you and your SO 🙂
I've not had the chance to purchase one yet, but I feel like the money is better spent on the honeymoon. An engagement ring is a very materialistic thing. I just can't understand the people on here saying "worth it" and "money comes and goes". That tells me that either they never experienced not having it OR have forgotten what it is like or where they came from. And how is it "worth it"?? So your future wife that cares more about possessions than she does experiences can show it off to all her friends and brag about it?? So she can post on Instagram that you obviously love her because you've spent $xx on her?? What else is there?????
Time and time again, studies show that people are much happier with experiences rather than material possessions. Skimp a bit on the ring and put the money towards some experience. Then your future wife can brag about you going to live in Bali or Bora Bora or Fiji for like a month while her friends brag about their engagement rings but are only mildly content with their vanilla-ass week in Jamaica.
With all that being said, I wouldn't skimp too much. Life is about balance after all. I'd say bottom end of low 5-figs and get creative with it.
He who justifies himself, crucifies himself 😂
I am female and I would never expect my SO to spend so much on a ring. And quite honestly I would reconsider my decision whether that is the right person, if such a material thing is so important. Even if my SO were the CEO of a successful company and could easily afford it, the price of a ring doesn’t say anything about the love between you too, which to me would be much more important.
Context is important here. If she knows you have the money to spend and it’s not an issue, then keep in mind she will be wearing this every day for the rest of her life. Go big.
If she had those expectations and you were not making much, that’s very different.
Rising Star
$1250. I’m 40. We were pretty broke back then, but we are still married and she still wears it. I’ve offered to upgrade but she thinks diamonds are silly.
🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌱🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴> 🔷
Give her an onion ring.
I know someone who sold all his stock in an up-n-comin electric car company with a quirky CEO so he can buy a $20K ring. A couple of years later that investment could’ve paid for the house they just bought.
Now they have $800K in mortgage debt but she has an okay ring which is nice I guess….
Geez
I am shocked at how little people are spending
The bigger the ring, the shorter the marriage
Rising Star
If it was explicit at all - this is a good filter and a sign for you to find a new SO
Rising Star
This should be the top comment. OP, CHANGE SO
Tell her you refuse to buy blood diamonds and get a better quality, bigger diamond for a fraction of the cost. Win win! 💎 👍
Seriously though, if he two of you are just starting out and have better uses for $25k now, like a house or paying down debt, try not to feel too much pressure to throw away money on a ring. You can always upgrade it on anniversaries as you finances allow. Starting out a marriage by overspending on a ring isn’t setting you up for success unless you’re already financially secure.
Best of luck!
$3k. My wife thought spending too much money on a ring was silly so we used the money for a honeymoon and a down payment instead.
Keeper!
We went with Moissanite, paid 2k with setting, looks like 15k diamond
Same, I went the Moissanite route. All in ~2.6k. Looks incredible, you can only tell it apart if you have it side by side with a real diamond (and then the only difference is that it is a bit brighter). Plan on putting the additional $20k I would have spent into a house or car for both of us.
Additionally, it is great that moissanite has a cool story behind it. My jeweler actually recommended it to me over a lab grown diamond. His logic is that lab grown is insanely overpriced as-is (and aren't nearly as bespoke as the name makes it sound... think "Factory manufactured diamond" and see if you would still be willing to pay that much for it). Might as well save $10k at that point and get Moissanite.
Get a lab grown diamond
Rising Star
D25 tell me more about the Diamond secondary market, you think diamonds retain retail value?
Diamond rings are an American tradition created by marketing departments. Like Captain Crunch or Ronald McDonald, diamond rings make no sense at all.
It never ceases to amaze me how much people spend in these things. You could fly her to Paris multiple times for years with that type of money.
Yet people feel compelled to buy diamond rings. The power of social pressure destroys logical reasoning.
Pro
It’s called an empty gesture. You pay a lot to show you can throw $.
Did anyone know diamonds are forever tag line came up as marketing gimic and it got stuck since then
C9, FWIW- the new GE GFW/D-650/850s are sweeeeet.
You’re doing it wrong
Rising Star
Spent 10k but the ring was appraised for $25k - 1.5ct E VVS1 real diamon with a pave band!!
NEVER go to Zales or big box jewelry stores!
AP1 just mad he got ripped off at Jared’s and his fiancé left him after a few months
$27K ... went deeper than what I could really afford at the time (basically emptied out my slush fund plus half my investments), but I wanted something she’d be happy with now and down the line too. Worth it
My husband spent a similar amount, $26K. It really felt good to know that he was willing to spend this much, would’ve said yes even if it was much less. He wasn’t making all that much then, so it truly meant a lot. Also he wanted me to have the bragging rights that my man is willing to spend his savings on me. Gotta say some of my girlfriends received rings much less than that and they confess were not happy - but they will never tell their husbands that!
Rising Star
25k on a ring? How much you make? I ask bc the whole 3 month rule is a marketing ploy and well it is your money. If your relationship is defined by how much is a ring rather saving for a house or an incredible honeymoon then maybe think a bit more about what you want from a relationship.
I personally spent 2.5k on my ex’s ring. She was very happy with it. We are still friends and still says that she was very happy with it. Again we were young and I didn’t have much. Maybe that is why. But we also ended up in a divorce so 🤷♂️.
I don’t think the relationship is necessarily defined by the cost of a ring. It’s all about alignment and shared values. I had no problem with the fact that my SO wanted an expensive ring. It was important to her and was a lifetime commitment and therefore important to me. 10/10 would do it again.
I hope your SO was joking. If not, that's a very callous, self centred, arrogant position and could be an indication your SO is in this only for the money. I'd seriously reconsider the relationship.
Does no one have diamonds in the family to use? Much more sentimental value and zero cost. My mom was super happy to repurpose some old earrings with diamonds from the 1930. Way better than some no name diamond from a random store
M12- how did you read this thread and NOT read all the posts calling out people for spending $40k?
Something tasteful is fine. I'm just unsure where the $20k idea is coming from. I would be mad if my ring cost $20k - I would rather spend that money on shared adventures with my SO.
Same! I would be so mad if I found out my SO spent over $10k!
Went to Tiffany which was about $30k on engagement ring, $12k on wedding ring... she expected much less, and I don’t regret it.
It’s just money.
I think this post fits better in the “tell me your rich without telling me your rich” feed.