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My wife and I were in the same income level but she did not want a diamond and we went under $3,000. related thought: with the money saved on a big ring, that same year (2016) I put $47k into a 529 plan for our eventual kid(s), and that’s now up to $95k and our daughter is um 6 months old. So there are can be some real upsides financially to not buying a ring for tens of thousands.
Where do you find one of these?
Enthusiast
This is extremely personal. What does your SO want? Some people want big rings, some people don’t. The proposing partner should spend what they’re comfortable with and get something their partner will like, but it’s a good idea to have a discussion beforehand to see what each person wants and is willing to do here.
Enthusiast
^ again, all highly personal. If someone wants a smaller Tiffany, let them have it
Seriously, get lab grown. You literally can’t tell difference. You’ll get a monster rock for $20k.
I got my fiancés ring from James Allen. It’s 2 carats and sparkles more than any of her friends.
I just got engaged in October. My best recommendations: 1) Ask your GF if she wants to get involved. I am very into design. I designed my own ring. I love it. My fiancé knows me well, but he doesn’t know the terminology or have an eye for design. We are both so happy with our decision to design our rings together. Also, as an uptight professional, it feels so weird to be completely in the dark about a major life event. We planned our engagement together too. It felt very collaborative, like team work. And it made the whole experience a blast for both of us. 2) Don’t assume you know what your GF wants in terms of stone and price point. Even though I’m very aesthetically inclined, I did not want to spend a crazy amount on an engagement ring. It’s a bad investment. Diamonds lose a significant amount their resale value as soon as they come home with you. That money could go toward upgrading a wedding or honeymoon. We could use it to pay off student loans, save for a home, or invest. The ethics of natural diamonds are highly questionable in many cases. And there are so many other options. 3) Which brings me to my next point: Do your research. Lab diamonds are objectively higher quality than natural diamonds. They don’t come with ethics implications. And they are significantly more cost effective. Sapphires are beautiful, and they are high enough on the MOHs scale to be an heirloom. Ditto on moissianite, which these days is virtually indistinguishable from diamonds in many cases. They are also naturally more dirt resistant, which means less cleaning for busy professionals. And naturally, they have more fire than diamonds, which means many people find them prettier. 4) Finally, it does not cost more to have your ring custom designed. This is a myth. There are a ton of reputable small businesses that allow virtually unlimited customization options. Big chains like Blue Nile allow for some customization, but your family jeweler and the modern independent shops offer truly bespoke options.
Hope this helps!
Under $4k.
Really depends on your financial situation. 30-50K seems reasonable?
I love the number of “don’t buy a ring” posts here. If OP goes with that, their next post will be “newly single - anyone have advice on dating during a pandemic?”
At $500k HHI we spent $300 each on rings we got on etsy. Zero reason to spend money on them and good design is cheap if you don’t use precious stones.
Subject Expert
It’s a piece of carbon that’s not rare and doesn’t show your SO that you care about them. Spend what you want.
Wow! Thanks, all. This thread showcased just how clueless I am when it comes to ring shopping. She is generally rather frugal, whereas I definitely have the watches, a nice car, etc.
While I couldn’t give 2 shits about a ring, I just want something that she could comfortably show her friends/family/coworkers/etc. I am viewing it as a sunk cost but would be happy to spend 50k but I also don’t want her to kill me bc again, she’s the frugal one.
Will talk to her about what she wants/expects! If anything, she will likely come in much lower than budget.
Subject Expert
Yeah, if she’s more frugal I would definitely check with her. I can afford it but I am cheap and I would never spend that much on a ring for myself (I’m a woman). It’s money you could use toward your wedding, down payment on a house, future kids college fund, blow out honeymoon, just throw it in VOO (so romantic!) etc.
LOL this flex. Who cares what your combined compensation is? I hope you’re not using your significant other’s compensation to buy the ring.
If you don’t spend every last penny of liquid assets in your bank account, you spent too little.
IMO incredibly gauche to walk around with an enormous rock on your hand. Some people care about that stuff though, so you’ll have to talk to your SO. Our combined income is around 500k and we agreed to spend 4k.
Update: She said round solitaire 1.5c+ but to not spend more than 15k or so.
Wonder how mad she will get mad if I allocate the remaining 35k of the budget to the next car I want (~260k)..
I hope 90% of that TC is yours
I had no idea what I was doing and I spent 15k. If it was any bigger, I’d be embarrassed for my family to see it. Not that it’s huge, but if I had unlimited money I don’t think I would want to go any bigger.
Honestly, your best bet is to let her pick out what she wants and tell her there’s no budget (or that the budget is TBD if you think giving no budget will result in an outrageously expensive ring). This is what I would want if I was getting engaged (and I probably lean on the more expensive side of the comments in this thread but within reason and definitely not flashy)
Depends on preferences. I'm not a big jewelry person. My husband spent around 2k on a custom ring (my friend was a jewelry designer and didn't charge for labor). He spent around 1k on the stones and the rest was for the gold and other materials. Our combined income was ~560k at the time.
Mine was $2500 and I love it. Personally, I would’ve been mad if he spent more. Ultimately a preference choice
Coach
Spend whatever you want. Just remember that you can always upgrade a ring and spending more money does not mean it will look better or be better (it will just make you feel better) since there are so many variations. I spent about $5k, my wife knows it, and yes I’ve spent more on bags and vacations than I did for her ring. It really shouldn’t be a function of your income, but really how much disposable income you have based on your stage of life and what you want to do in the future. Don’t get in debt over the ring.
I (think) my partner spent about 15k and our combined income is lower than yours. The ring is from a very reputable jeweler, and I was very involved with picking out the design and the rock size. I am flattered he thought it was worth splurging for me like this. And we had already saved enough that it did not interfere with us buying a house as well. I think communication with the partner on expectations and goals is key. Personally, I do care about what others think about my ring and knew that my friends would judge what we got. My partner respected that even though he himself is very frugal, and I appreciate him all the more for it.
Spent $7k on a decently sized ring, and my fiancée put the rest of the money he saved in an account towards a down payment for a house/condo.