{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How much resentment / jealousy do you feel like you get from your non biglaw classmates? I definitely think there is a \"hate us cuz they ain't us\" situation.", "post_id": "61e3d0f787141b0031fd6e4c", "reply_count": 86, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5df70ed2f7169f002b172d3f", "bowl_name": "Big Law", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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How much resentment / jealousy do you feel like you get from your non biglaw classmates? I definitely think there is a "hate us cuz they ain't us" situation.

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I’m the only one of my close group of friends from law school that didn’t crack until big law straight out of graduation. Not an ounce of resentment towards them. They worked their tails off, deserved the jobs they got, and look up to them for being ambitious enough to achieve their goals. Looking for my first opportunity and hopefully I’ll get there soon enough.

But, as with any “that person has more than me,” there will always be someone who’s jealous of your success. “Jealousy is ignorance; imitation is suicide.”

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I got big law a few months after graduation and I have to say when all my friends had their big law jobs lined up and they were getting all these perks and start dates and firms paying for their Barbri etc, I did have a little jealously. I wouldn’t say it was resentment but more of a “why couldn’t that be me” internally

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V10 mid level M&A associate here. In my closest group of law school friends, I think my non big law friends actually feel sorry for me sometimes. They’re able to make a decent living AND have a life, go on vacation without being peeled to their phones, comfortably make weekday dinner plans, go on dates, go to the gym, maintain their sanity, etc. I’m the one in the friend group that is still single, has to take pills for my biglaw induced anxiety, is difficult to make plans with, has to put work over self care, etc. and all I have to show for it is I have a bigger bank balance and I show up in a fancier car when we do hang out. If anything the jealousy is the other way; I’m jealous of my friends’ ability to not put money as their top priority in life.

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Good grief. The one good thing about your pathetic post is that your shallowness strongly suggests your future partnership material.

likefunnyuplifting

Not having to worry about saving, or the future generally, is huge.

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Honestly, after being in big law, I was jealous of non big law so I left. So much better. I think big law folks often tell themselves “hate us cuz they ain’t us” as self flattery.

likesmart

This! Exactly my thought in reading this post. Maybe for summer associates there was this envy but many of your non big law former classmates could be where you are now if they wanted that life

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What’s there to be jealous of though? The compensation, sure - but, the lack of a proper work/life balance or even some sort of autonomy? Nope.

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Enough has been said against OP on a personal level. Not enough on whether he is as smart as he thinks he is from a financial standpoint. Is being a lawyer an efficient way of getting the money to finance this kind of life?

Lawyers are some of the least leveraged professionals — private equity firm partners, hedge fund managers, and others managing pooled investments are far better poised to get more out of hours worked. Hell, even some sales agents are better poised.

The guy thinks he’s outwitted his colleagues with his career path. He has in fact signed up for a miserable 70-hour-work-week existence for the rest of his life. There were faster/different ways of getting at the lifestyle and he chose one of the worst. Hooray!

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Echoing others here, I also have not experienced this resentment.

OP, this is sounding like it may be more about you than your classmates.

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You still talk to your law school classmates enough to know 10% of them resent you?

likefunny

That’s odd. I’m not in big law but following this bowl. I know my big law counterparts are way richer but I do not envy them because I think only 1 out of the entire bunch who I think is actually mentally ok on a day to day basis

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And likely that 1 person isn’t well either.

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Yeah I had no desires to do big law. I’m a general counsel a few years out of law school. Make more than my big law Freinds and take the time off I need. I have dinner with my kids and have my weekends free. No thanks to that life style.

likesmart

Me too!!

I went into legal aid after graduating from a top law school relatively recently, so most of my friends are in Big Law. I envy the salary a bit, but my biggest envy is from the fact that a lot of people in the legal field assume that as a legal aid lawyer, I'm incompetent or barely a lawyer. My Big Law friends do doc review at Latham or whatever but are treated like little Clarence Darrows by other lawyers. Other than that, though, I seem to like my job considerably more than they like theirs.

likeuplifting

I'll add, though, that I definitely don't resent Big Law. Too many friends are taking that path. I have the usual PI qualms about big firms' role in society, but I can't apply that to the individuals within it knowing how wild debt loads are and also how top law schools make Big Law the path of least resistance so that you have to constantly swim upstream to do anything else.

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Honestly if people really want to break into biglaw there are a lot of different ways to do it after graduating. I haven’t experienced must resentment personally. Most people had different paths, many by choice.

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Of course I could be totally wrong, but people that are secure in their happiness generally don't go fishing like this for external, tribal validation.

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Exactly!! Doesn’t cross their mind

As someone who didn't do biglaw straight out of law school but ended up in it later, I didn't feel any jealousy/hate towards my classmates who went straight in.

I will say I've felt strong dislike for one or two summers who have come through with that competitive/ gunner mentality though. Maybe that's what you're picking up on.

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Who cares?

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Oh honey noooooo. As a fellow big law associate, please stop 😂

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Are you aware that not everyone is interested in biglaw?

You’re projecting.

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You’re correct. Living like a big law associate is not enviable. Lol.

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An interesting twist to this might be the school. I assume non-big law folx that graduated from most t14 schools that place well in biglaw made a conscious choice not to do the biglaw route.

On the other hand, I think graduates of schools that don’t place as well in biglaw (to the point where there is a sizable amount of students that wanted biglaw but didn’t get it) might have more resentment. Coming from the latter, I’ve definitely experienced some bitterness from classmates that didn’t get the biglaw positions they wanted and are now in small firms making a fraction of market salary while working very comparable hours.

likefunny

definitely a new associate…

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I went from non-big law to big law. Tbh, I love what I do. So, Idc. But, the only thing I’m jealous of is non-attorneys who are living their life to the fullest.

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I was at an AmLaw 100 and recently lateraled into an AmLaw 20 firm. None of my colleagues or classmates treat me any differently or have been anything but happy for me. If people hate you, it's probably because (based purely on this post) you come across like a pompous ass.

likefunny

None. Most of my non biglaw friends are true do-gooders. Would they like more money yes? But they actually are more stressed about their jobs bc peoples lives and livelihoods are at stake and they care whereas idgaf. I would like to do something someday that I legit care about b

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I think people just hate you because of you, not your lifestyle. I’m at a V10 and do not act like you do. You clearly think you are better than others who are not in big law.

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