{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How much should you/did you spend on an engagement ring? Internet is saying a gd rule of thumb is 3months salary....which is around 50k for me before tax. Is this the norm? Is that before tax or after tax? Seems a lot to me but if that’s the norm I can live with it.", "post_id": "5f4c82221dddfd001b409cf8", "reply_count": 149, "vote_count": 29, "bowl_id": "59064a3cb12379001006592c", "bowl_name": "Personal Investment Chatter", "feed_type": "bowl" }

How much should you/did you spend on an engagement ring? Internet is saying a gd rule of thumb is 3months salary....which is around 50k for me before tax. Is this the norm? Is that before tax or after tax? Seems a lot to me but if that’s the norm I can live with it.

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Go ring shopping or have her go on her own. It’s worth it for her to discover what she wants to see on her finger for the rest of her life. For me, I learned I wanted a stone about a carat in size, I thought that looked really lovely on my hand without being too flashy. My now husband also wanted to buy me the best he could because he didn’t want me to ask for an “upgrade” in ten years after seeing lots of women with huge rings.

She should also decide if she wants a simple band with no other stones, maybe a couple on each side, or maybe little ones all around the band. Those can change the cost by $1-2k depending on what she likes.

I think $50k is a ridiculous amount to spend on a ring, but I wouldn’t advise getting something small/cheap just because you want to be frugal. Given your salary, you guys are going to see lots of huge jewels around your colleagues, and unfortunately comparison truly is the thief of joy. If you get something that seems “good enough” now, it’s going to seem like not enough in a few years. But if you get something that is just a wee bit more than she asks for (like I asked for 1 carat, my husband got a 1.17 carat, and that seemed HUGE) and she’s really amazed by it, then chances are much better she’s going to be happy with it for longer.

Now, if she swears up and down that she wants a small diamond and you know she’s being honest - get her a small diamond, totally fine. Just maybe get something a touch bigger than small.

likesmart

Pharmacist 1- diamond wholesaler? Is this online wholesaler or a store based wholesaler? Mind sharing.. also looking at rings myself

I definitely would not use any monthly income as a rule of thumb, but do keep in mind that this is a ring your future wife will wear forever - so my suggestion is to get the best you can get. You can get ideas from retail stores, but when the time comes - buy a diamond from the wholesale market, then take that stone and get it set in whatever setting you like. You will save a ridiculous amount of money, will be able to afford a higher quality and larger stone, and the end result is a ring that appraises for significantly more than you paid for it. Retail markup of jewelry is crazy - don’t do it.

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I just spent about 12k and got a lovely ring. Asking Saturday so wish me luck

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I heard through a friend they already got married and divorced since this.

This Supreme Court battle is tearing many families apart.

We got our rings off Etsy for $50 bucks.

likesmart

This is the smartest fb comment I’ve read this morning :)

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We got engaged and married without any rings.
Instead, our money goes straight to our 2nd house in the mountains (ski resort). We are happily married. And enjoying skiing every weekend in winter.

likesmartupliftinghelpful

As a lady I wouldn’t expect anyone to spend more than $5k on a ring for me!

likesmart

Me too! I told my BF that if he wants to spend 20k on a ring for me, I’d rather him give me a 5k ring and the rest in cash please 💸💸💸.

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Dave Ramsey says “There is no correlation between the price of the ring to the success of the marriage.”

likesmart

Fun fact, he’s actually wrong. There is an inverse correlation (same with wedding cost).

likefunnysmart

Thank you all!

My gf hasn’t given any hints or “demands” - she’s pretty frugal but I want to do something nice for her so I just wanted to get an idea of what everyone else is doing. Seems like 20k is a reasonable and respectable number

likefunny

Unless you are a millionaire, if you propose to me and I find out you dumped $20k on a ring, I would turn you down

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Tip: most stores and many online sites will price match the diamonds since many have access to the same inventory. Find out the GIA, do a search online and find a local jeweler to get the diamond for you and match the price (and usually no tax with cash purchase). I did this because I preferred working with an in-person jeweler to guide us through the ring shopping process.

My GIA value for my diamond ended up being $5k more than what I paid for it.

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If you have any Jewish friends with relatives in the diamond industry, you can jump the value chain and buy straight from the distributor. You will avoid the 50% markup that the jewelry store takes

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Most of my coworkers make around $200-300K and not a single person has spent more than $25K on a ring. I would not spend more than $20K if I was making $200K.

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Buy an amazing one off Etsy with a Moissanite / Sapphire / Ruby combination for under a Grand n put rest 19K towards ur Investment together. Either a Brokerage Account or a Second investment property.

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Um no

likefunny

Nothing more than 5k.

likesmart

Honestly buy moissanite. It's literally a lab created diamond that is better than normal diamonds. The way any jeweler tells is because it's too perfect. I can't tell you how many compliments my wife has gotten on her ring from jeweler's etc when she takes it in to get cleaned. Little do they know...

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Yep agreed! Also would discuss lab grown versus natural. Have that conversation, the price differences are outrageous. I would buy lab grown 100%.

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Has the lady given any hints as to what she’s looking for? This is a beautiful 2 carat ring that would run about $20k

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I thought I wanted 2 carats, but after trying it on it looked absurdly large on my hand (size 5 finger). Instead husband got me something a tad over 1.25 carat, paid attention to cut, clarity, and visible flaws, and spent $7k on blue Nile - and it appraised for far more. I do sometimes wish the rock were a bit bigger (absurdly large can be fun 😂) but ultimately I’m happy not to have something so flashy.

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Same! I also got a 1.25 carat center stone for a size 5 finger! 2 carats looked super obnoxious on me when I tried it on!

likesmart

My budget was around 7k when I intended to propose to my then girl friend. She said she dint want something that expensive (~1.5k) and to invest the rest in TSLA and AMZN because she did too.

We now have close to 150 TSLA (150*5 after the split) and 30 AMZN combined. I don’t question my wife’s decisions since.

likeupliftingsmart

Haha nice! That worked out pretty well!

Do to a diamond distributor instead of a store, it will cut off a large portion of the price. Price range depends on the carat size and clarity you are looking for.

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My friend ring looks identical to mine (2k vs 18k)

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Lol A1 that’s exactly the point.. they look the same - you’re literally not a different person spending more money on a ring

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I’m a frugal lady and would be sad and disgusted if someone spends thousands of dollars on a piece of jewelry for me. I would be sad and guilty if even at 2k
I think that since you’re going to become a family, a 20k purchase is a fair conversation to have.

likefunny

20k seems obscene

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