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How old are you and what is the biggest problem in your life right now?

likehelpfulupliftingfunny
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45 - Have a great family. My wife and I have great financial success and 2 great kids. Great parents on both sides. My sister, 38, was in an abusive relationship for 10 years that hit its breaking point where right before the pandemic, where he hurt her so bad that she needed to go to emergency surgery. My parents and I didn’t see it as we weren’t close to my sister as he isolated her as much as possible. My mother has been guiding my sister wrongly as she lives in a small town and never has worked in her life. Causing strain in the family how to best help my sister moving forward, as regardless of the unfortunate abuse she experienced, she had suspected mental health issues where she can’t hold a job for a long time and my mom keeps on wanting to financially support her and makes excuses for her actions vs. her going to get help and see a psychiatrist. Luckily, we convinced my sister and mom NOT for her to go back to him.

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31, currently in a long term relationship and planning to get married. However, dhavent had the money to afford a ring let alone a wedding which has caused some strains as it leads my partner to feel I don't want to commit. Also partner has just been accepted to do a Masters at NYU to start in January (we are British living in UK) and she is determined to go as it has been our dream to move to the US and she has suffered from depression etc a lot linked to not having a purpose and going back to school to train as a psychologist is her dream. I really don't think we have the money and my work won't transfer me so I'm stuck and unable to go. To even try to afford things I will have to move back home and send her my salary every month for living expenses and somehow find the extra money for the fees each term.
Also we have been trying for a baby and so waiting to find out if she is pregnant which will add a whole other dynamic to the situation.
Really don't know what to do.

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Wowza. Try and prioritise things. If money is tight for you it wouldn’t be fair to finance another persons lifestyle if you can’t afford it. Your partner should try and be a bit more considerate of your circumstances… personally I don’t think she should pursue the move to the US right now until you settle things at home first. I understand love etc but please take care of yourself

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29, we lost our baby at 24 weeks. First week back at work this week after 3 weeks of leave and not ready to be here.

likehelpful

Wow so sorry for your loss. Sending you prayers and healing ❤️

likehelpful

29 and got married without telling anyone from my family side because I am yet to come out to them.

likeupliftingfunny

Congrats on the vows! Good luck with your decision to come out to your parents.

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38 and have a HARD time staying focused to complete anything that is not pressing. Procrastination should be my first name. It has impacted literally every area of my life.

I’ve tried multiple solutions but nothing sticks because I forget or procrastinate to fully implement. I truly don’t want to be this way.

I will clean the entire house before prepping for a meeting I’m leading or submitting a deliverable that I’m fully capable of doing… just a horrible feeling.

likehelpful

Sounds like me. But somehow I always miraculously get my deliverable to the finish line on time, and seem to run meetings effectively and usually end up on the client’s good side. But I know I can do so much better and finish things much faster if I didn’t procrastinate. Case in point: I have my deliverable opened up on my laptop but my feet are kicked up on my desk and I’m commenting on this thread on fishbowl 😂.

likefunny

22, trying to find/create a new friend group

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God this is so relatable. Everyone already has established friend groups already which makes it so much harder. Remote work also screwed my chances of making a new group.

22, lower back pain

likefunny

I had a herniated disc. I recovered by sitting completely differently. Not on your tailbone but on the flesh part of your buttocks. Also walking in between meetings. And weight lifting helped: squats, leg press, lunges, dead lifts. Watch kneesovertoesguy on YouTube for great exercises!

25 and my only concerns are that I’m being severely underpaid and I’m single. I’m also in a ton of debt while my friends are all buying houses.

likehelpful

IM TRYING TO MARRY RICH YALL ITS HARDER WHEN YOU HAVE STANDARDS 😭😭

funnylike

34 and biggest issue is that I’m single.
Money is not an issue. Family is not an issue. My life is great. Career is great. I’m just single and would prefer to not be lol.

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Don’t try do hard in matters of the heart. God has a perfect dance partner for you so get your best comfy shoes on and believe. Love will find you when you least expect it.

25, suicidal for the last 10 years, never had friends or a girlfriend. I don't have any social skills for informal communication but find it easy to talk to clients and my colleagues (even unstructured conversations)

likehelpful

I'm in my 50s. I've had suicidal thoughts as far back as I can remember. I self medicated for years with alcohol; which makes it worse!!! I have been sober for almost a decade. I will never drink again as I am much happier without it. I was a high functioning alcoholic and almost lost my family. At that time the pain was so intense I just wanted to die. I really was too much of a coward to end my life. I look back and think I would have been a homeless drunk if not for the extreme calm demeanor of my wife after a week of hard drinking. She told me she hurt that she couldn't help me and didn't know what to do. I am not sure what clicked in my brain but I felt intense shame and regret. I booked an appointment with my doctor and confessed my suicidal feelings and alcoholism. Doctor told me it's very rare for a man to admit these things. I started taking antidepressants and tried several before I found one that worked. I'm kind of stubborn so I didn't do any AA meetings as I really felt I could do it on my own. I just quit cold turkey and that was that. I realize this method is not successful for others but my reason why was very strong (and that was the look of despair on my wife's face.) I started therapy for my suicidal thoughts. The medication really helps with these. To this day my bad thoughts hit me when I go to bed and lay there thinking what it would be like to die. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of being dead and gone. Then I think of the tearless sad face my wife had and change my thoughts to happier times. I'm not sure I'll ever lose those bad thoughts but I'm sure going to fight them. I've outlived both of my parents; both alcoholics. My mother took her life at 50 and father full of cancer at 52. I realize I am very fortunate and perspective is a very important word to me. I hope you find the courage to get help. I'm sure glad I did!!!

likehelpful

26, parent with cancer, just got my own abnormal test results and waiting for follow-up

likehelpfuluplifting

Ugh! Prayers to you!

likeuplifting

33 - Being single & Gay, this constant uncertainty when being on H1b visa, challenge finding a new & good group of friends, strongly wanting to settle down & buy a house etc.. but have no clue about when & where. Life constantly feels like going in circles leading to no where.

With each passing day, I fee like I am only living to work. Even more since the Pandemic hit, I think am hitting my breakpoint constantly.

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SC2 do not worry , just pray - H1B is temporary, you will get GC soon . Being gay is better than just marrying a girl and living a life which others want you to lead back home in India

likehelpful

26 and I have a popcorn kernel stuck in my back teeth that I can’t quite reach

funnylike

27 and wanting out of Ohio

likefunnyhelpful

32 wanting out of Illinois!!

funny

55 and everything is peachy. Biggest problem is deciding if its worth letting the wife get a job again so we can afford a spare mountain home. To all the 20s, dont dramatize trivial problems - its not cancer. You will deal with death and real problems soon enough. To the 40s, sorry, but get ready for the "U" where you will be unhappy as all get out for no reason in particular. Just try to stay married through the "U," but I know thats hard. End of message from your future selves.

likefunnyhelpful

What’s the “U”?

likefunny

23 and constant ibs pain and stomach issues..24/7/365

likesmart

I recommend speaking with a functional medicine dietitian! They help get to root cause vs. treating symptoms

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26, the loss of my role model (my dad) and student loans

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I’m so sorry for your loss.😓

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40. On a train and need to take a dump.

funnylike

24, suicidal partner and sick parent. Want a solid friend group in my city.

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Thank you! I’m in Milwaukee, let me know if you’re around!

helpful

I am 25. I lost my mom when I was 19 to breastcancer a day before I had started my bachelor studies, I have been through hell since then. Had a happy family and with the dead of my mom, my dad moved to Thailand, got married, got a kid at the age of 63 and sued me for the last the three years over money. He lost. And I am out here after that living my best life. Finished my bachelor degree in time, now working in consulting, recently got my senior promo and pursing my MBA in my free time. Whenever I feel sad, I look back and see how far I have made it ♥️ keep it up guys, you will overcome everything - even without a family - you can do it!!!!

likeuplifting

Go !!! You have such a positive energy which means that you are winning in life. I also posted here earlier and lost my mother to breast cancer. Such a nasty disease, but so much progress being made on that field. I hope in a couple decades no one will lose their relative to it anymore

22 - just trying to plan for what’s next - can’t complain, am grateful that life is good

likesmart

same boat, except throw in trying to find a girl maybe idk

upliftingsmart

About to be 26, still have about $15k in student loans left, broke up with fiance, want to own property but everything is insanely expensive here that it's basically not a reality, investments not working out well... But I got a promotion so that's kind of nice? Still wish I got paid more to be able to do the things I'd like to do by 30...

So I guess my answer here is a stable life LOL

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My kids and I have all found owner-occupied duplexes (upstairs/downstairs) which requires a higher down payment but the dividends over time are astonishing. Tenant makes the mortgage payment or 90%.
If you aren’t born rich this is the first step toward getting you there, over time.

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