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4/13 Thread (General):
Rising Star
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Mid 20’s
Mother had cancer going from breasts, liver, lungs to brain since I was a baby. Parents had marital issues leading to Dad having an affair when I was around 6-7. They were arguing one night where he took his own life on our property (age 37) - fairly sure Mum was the one that found him. Raised by my Mum and Grandmother until the cancer got too much for and she passed at age 39 from complications arising from liver surgery (had previously done numerous rounds of chemo, 3 brain surgeries, 2 liver surgeries, double mastectomy and hysterectomy so I thought she was basically invincible at this stage). I was 16 and in my final year of high-school.
Now, moved to Europe (from the other side of the world) to be with someone very special, but far away from my Grandmother (still young for a grandmother). Life is decent now but would like Grandmother to be a bit closer somehow.
A bit more to the story but that’s the summary for here.
10-15, when we were almost homeless, and only just started living in the projects, mom got cancer twice, someone close to us really wanted a girl but couldn’t have anymore children so they wanted to adopt me by trying to ruin our family by falsely reporting abuse in the household. My grandparents hated me because I was born a girl and they wanted a boy so we didnt have any of their support growing up. I had to take care and pick up my brother daily from school an hour away by train, my parents worked 14hr-day factory jobs. I was in a highly competitive school and had to be academically excellent. I had undiagnosed hypothyroidism/adhd/depression/anxiety and because we didn’t believe in mental health I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to be so depressed out of your mind that every waking day I actively ideated ways I wanted to die because it’s all I’ve known at that point.
I slowly grew out of this abyss and went away for college where I burnt out from being so overambitious to get out of the situation I grew up in. Now I’m a lot happier and have learned that mental health is important
Jesus man, it’s a Monday… who hurt you?
A cyber consultant who cannot read a time stamp 🤦
27 joined deloitte instead of Amazon
This ^
Loss of both parents. 39.
@pwc1 I feel that so much. It wakes me up at night in tears.
Rising Star
35.
Loss of two close friends under tragic circumstances.
The fact that I have been single my entire life.
I feel guilty/selfish about it but the latter hits me much harder, on most days. Hard to say which is more impactful.
Also I'm in your age range (31, turning 32 this summer). I'm married but many of my female friends in this age range are still single, so there is hope is all I'm saying! ❤
Rising Star
30. Cancer at 21, drug addiction at 22, miscarriage at 29.
Rising Star
I celebrated 6 years last November, so I guess almost 7 years! I used to spend a lot of time thinking about wasted years, where I could be now if I hadn’t used, how folks had more “waking” years than me where their brain was working or not affected by drugs, but I don’t anymore. Plus I am so proud of who I am today and would’ve never gotten here without addiction. Keep going forward it gets easier and easier every day. Proud of you!!!
37. Watched my new born son undergo multiple surgeries in the hospital for 10 months and then die in my arms.
I am so sorry 😢 for your loss!!
Chief
Can I just say, you are all so strong. This post is incredibly heavy, and I hope all of you are well.
❤
Lost my mom at 37, miscarriage at 39, breast cancer at 42, told that I could not have kids after cancer plus uterine fibroids, hysterectomy at 45 and now 49 told that I have a chance to get osteoporosis (side effects of the cancer medication)
Life continues though, it makes me stronger as I’m still alive.
@EY2, life goes on. I think the only way for me to continue to be positive through interactions with others.
Pandemic really makes me ponder on my priorities so I have made some changes at work but need to do more.
God bless everyone. 🙏
I want to ❤️ the people who are sharing their pain on this thread. So many overwhelming experiences. I hope no one interprets this as a “like”.
It’s okay instead of ‘liking’ we should interpret them as sending our ❤️ felt condolences to each other
35. Wife’s miscarriage.
It’s your miscarriage too man. It fucking sucks.
Lost my dad at 4, house burned down at 16, lost mom at 17. Only child.
Sorry to hear M2. Sending you love, prayers and strength.
Rising Star
34. Was at Virginia Tech during the mass shooting in 2007, where a close friend was shot 5 times (and lived, miraculously). Recently has been infertility issues and a miscarriage.
Wow
You guys are so strong! Reminder that someone else’s hurt doesn’t make yours any less just because it’s worse. Feeling extra grateful 🥲
30. Spent most of my teenage years and early 20s wanting to kill myself (including 1 serious attempt) because my mom spent most of my high school years verbally abusing me and telling me she wanted to kill herself over how bad of a child I was (not going to get into the details here but suffice it to say this was at least partly a cultural thing; my “transgressions” would be considered fairly mundane in American culture).
I’ve spent multiple years in therapy since then and am feeling a lot better now but have basically had to cut contact with my mom in order to build back any self esteem. It still stings a bit when I witness the supportive relationships my SO and other friends have with their mothers, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
I am prob the same race and you and same culture. So I can say that I am proud of you. Parents are just victims of their own flaws and they have their own anxieties; it’s the reason why the house environment trickled down to you. Mental health is so important but I do understand the difficulty you went thru to see and do something about toxic relationships.
I am 44. Lost father at age of 2 and was raised by single mom. Surprisingly I miss having a dad around more as I grow older.
late 20s, was kidnapped
Wow
23. Accenture employment
24. hysterectomy.
Whoa. Thanks for sharing
41. Miscarriage 13 years ago. I cry October 15th every year, but so grateful for my rainbow daughter who is 11.