How to approach work when you’re on the edge of a mental breakdown? I’m really close and can feel it. Only a year and a half into biglaw and sometimes this job truly makes me contemplate every decision I’ve ever made that led me here. I really need an actual break but my practice group has been so busy this hasn’t been possible. I’ve contemplated asking for a short leave, but (1) I love the people (most at least) that I work with and I don’t want to push more work on them and (2) I need the $.

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Walk away for half an hour. Breathe. Eat something. Do what you have to do and if anyone questions you just say sorry, I got sick. I’ve seen all of them break down from time to time. Partners crying in their offices, etc.

End of the day, this isn’t forever (especially if you don’t want it to be). You can lateral to do something with a slower pace. You’ll have options. Hang in there. It’s not forever.

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Your mental health matters.

Make an appt with your GP or company's EAP to discuss options.

If you need to take leave for anxiety, do that. But if you take "stress leave" it's harder to get it covered.

Your doctors can help. Worry about you, not others!

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If you are this busy you are indispensable and empowered to say no to new work.

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Same boat.

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It depends on what is the major stress to you, how you are currently working, and how serious you’re taking it. First, you don’t have to do this. You can walk away any time. At any second. Literally, nothing forces you to be there - not even debt. You’re perceptions, goals, and desires are keeping you there. So, first, remind yourself that you don’t have to do it. Second, if you’re not getting enough rest - you have to. And it doesn’t matter what anyone tells you, get that rest. Second, find a therapist and personal trainer - and guard your time with them jealously. Lastly, remember that this feeling is part and parcel with the junior associate life and it’s not personal to you - everyone gets their butt kicked at this job as some point. There are only two things you can do in life: do something else or change how you view it. But getting rest and exercise is the first way to make sure you have the mental space needed to make decisions.

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Take your leave. Absolute worst case scenario is that they fire you, but (1) if your group is as busy as you say this will never happen, and (2) you can always find another job but you only have 1 life, 1 body, 1 mind. Take care of yourself.

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OP - sorry to hear about how things are.

Difficult as it is, you need to take a break and quickly. Take an hour or 2 to do a handover note to colleagues, and just say you are sick (because stress is sickness). No need to give an explanation. And try not to feel guilty. It is not your fault that your team is understaffed under the BigLaw business model. And it is not your responsibility to overwork yourself to death to protect your team. And you can afford to take a week off.

Speaking from experience - powering through when close to a breakdown is infinitely worse. 1) It will make things worse in the long run for your heath - it is the mental health equivalent of borrowing money from a loan shark to pay off delinquent credit card debts. Mental breakdowns aside - you could also have a stroke or a heart attack. 2) You are much more likely to make mistakes at work if you are burning the candle at both ends. Then you will be blamed for screwing up - negating your commitment to the job. You will not get much sympathy in BigLaw or from your clients for screwing up because you are overworked. 3) You may resent your job more which couls make you angry at your firm, your clients, your colleagues and yourself.

I hope you can use your break to not just recover but think about exit strategies if you don’t see your future in BigLaw. There are more options than you think - smaller firms, in-house, legal ops. There is no shame (and a lot of autonomy) in stepping off the hamster wheel. It’s what I’m doing now as a 5L after years of sh*t like this.

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It might be time to start looking. Midsize/ some boutique firms don’t pay as much as big law but some are pretty close and the WLB is incredible

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Same here. Exec comp. I’m so depressed I can’t even work out anymore. I have to take frequent breaks at this point just to breathe. Idk about you except you’re also slammed but I have corporate associates calling and Skyping me randomly every day because they don’t understand what it’s like to be working on 15-20 active matters at once. It’s not their fault, but sometimes I just want to tell them to fuck off. So that’s why I get up and walk away from my computer a lot.

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I hate there are so many people in the same position I am, but also nice to know it’s not just me (it’s this job structure in general). I’m in lev fin and on so many matters at one time it takes a toll. Much harder than being on one large matter at a time.

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Thank you to everyone for your feedback! I am looking into potentially going in house, lateraling to a smaller firm, etc. This job has ebbs and flows, but when it’s bad it’s really bad which is it right now. I’ve just been nervous to transition given a potential recession.

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Looking for exit options like a good plan! Try and see the plan through even thought it make take some time - I always forget about the bad times when it gets better and then decide to stick around but the bad times ALWAYS return.

This sounds like lack of sleep + exercise

It is. I’m not getting enough sleep or exercise. Even though I’m not working 300 hour billable months, the billable hours at all hours, plus non billable work plus life makes it very difficult. It’s take a toll on my marriage as well.

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