How to build confidence arguing with senior positions that they are wrong? SMs, directors, partners, etc.

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Make them think they’re still right, easier to change someone’s view when you don’t make then feel wrong/stupid
“Have you thought about how x will impact y”
Just takes a little care for people’s feelings

likefunnyhelpful

Telling them they are wrong makes it adversarial. D10 do you think that someone can have a position that is totally wrong, without any foundation at all (anyone but 45, that is)? If they are saying that we should pour a foundation of marshmallow fluff, then they are wrong. Otherwise, start with agreement and you’ll get much further with your POV.

Wrong about facts? Show me. This is the easiest convincing to do

Wrong about context? Explain to me what you’ve found / feel that I’m not seeing. This brings color that maybe I’m missing and not factoring in

Wrong about path forward? Share your rationale openly, recognize that sometimes it’s a judgment call based on multiple factors.

likehelpfulsmart

Agree. Context is everything, and being on the ground usually provides insight the project leaders don’t have.

I’ve also found it very helpful to frame things by discussing the risk to the project. Nobody wants to take on risk. Explain the why.

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Ask yourself “is this the hill I want to die on?”

likefunnysmarthelpful

It’s not called Hamburger Hill because of the amazing grill on the top.

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Use facts

likefunny

I used challenge/question my leaders regularly in a respectful way, and now they seek out my advice!
Make sure:
- you’ve thoroughly thought out your POV
- you can support why you think it’s a better idea/option
- you’re open to discussion
- you’re respectful when delivering (start with, “X is a great idea, have you also considered...” or “I like that idea, I wonder if ___ could work?” or “one there approach I’ve seen is __”)
- you’re confident

likehelpful

Your first mistake is approaching it as an argument. That’s fundamentally different from challenging the premise or underlying facts in order to make the result stronger. Lead the horse to water...

likehelpful

I like the approach I heard in a consulting podcast: It’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong but what is best for the client.

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honestly if there's anything I've learned at the firm...senior leadership is right because they're leadership, not because they're correct.... and the egos at the firm can't handle criticism. so i would say if you really care about right/wrong get away from leadership that would rather fight than collaborate

likesmart

Rather than use “argue”, do you mean “persuade?” I agree with the points by several individuals here. An add-on is, depending on context (your role, company strategy, scope, etc), we might only be exposed to a very slim set of facts that formulated our opinion of the situation. So while you are compiled to challenge your superior, also recognize they’re involved in various conversations directly with the clients that set the tone and that could be why they’re overriding your suggestion.

So while looking at your facts, also come from a place where you are seeking to understand.

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Don't argue. Present facts and analysis in a thoughtful manner with insight that helps their decision making.

likehelpful

Tired of newly promoted D and SMs who stop you at the middle of a sentence and don’t even have the courtesy to listen, especially those ones who have not seen better projects

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The book How to Win Friends & Influence People helped me to find practical techniques to tackle situations such as these. Humans are creatures of emotion and not logic. Most senior leaders have an ego that they desperately cling to. You have to find ways to tell someone they’re wrong without blatantly telling them they’re wrong. Good luck.

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Try saying "Pls fix"

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Socratic method. Ask good, thoughtful, respectful questions until they realize they can’t defend their position or their logic doesn’t add up. Don’t tell. Teach.

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Become a client

likefunny

Find the nearest brick wall and slam your head against into it!!!!

likefunny

In my experience, Senior leadership is more willing to listen to facts. Make your case objectively, present outcomes and their pros and cons. You need to get rid of “ I am right & you are wrong“ vibe.

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This is difficult to do because it not only depends on your ability to convince people but it also depends on how people are willing to listen, I provided advice in the past which was not followed and the projects ended in a bad spot, more senior people thought they had the right answer and they didn’t, that happens with so much frequency. Now back to your question, bring facts, allies and build prestige.

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leadership is more inclined to listen when you have proven yourself and deliver. part of that is a track record of listening yourself, learning and applying. if you have built that trust and reputation, then they will be more than open to hearing fact based rationale

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I often need to give my partner a “break” when we disagree. Almost always he changes his mind to my view and then pretends it was his view all along... sometimes I feel like I’m in the Inception movie and I dreamed we disagreed. Now I take lots of notes on exactly what he says /views so I know I’m not cuckoo later. 🧐🤔

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No one wins in an argument ... no one

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