{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How to deal with a condescending manager? She constantly throws me under the bus and talks to me in a sarcastic undertone. What irks me the most is she does this in meetings with junior staff. Not to mention she never likes to admit when she’s wrong. When she’s wrong she’ll go on a 10 minute soliloquy about why she isn’t wrong. She claims I lack confidence but it doesn’t help my confidence when you undermine me in front of junior staff. Can’t wait to leave.", "post_id": "611c41385b7fcd003066466e", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

How to deal with a condescending manager? She constantly throws me under the bus and talks to me in a sarcastic undertone. What irks me the most is she does this in meetings with junior staff. Not to mention she never likes to admit when she’s wrong. When she’s wrong she’ll go on a 10 minute soliloquy about why she isn’t wrong. She claims I lack confidence but it doesn’t help my confidence when you undermine me in front of junior staff. Can’t wait to leave.

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I would give her some upward feedback, which I know is easier said than done. If she doesn’t take the feedback well and acts unprofessionally, then go one step above her and ask a director or partner for advice on how to deal with her. That does two things: clues the leadership into her behavior but also gives you advice on how to handle.

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Jeesh. You expect this kind of behavior from a fast food manager, but in consulting? Shes just way overpromoted.

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Agreed - sounds like another insecure manager who doesn’t yet have the maturity to be a leader. Quite frankly, it’s sad when you see this type of behavior in the workplace and that’s not OP’s fault.

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Use specific examples to tell her what she's saying or doing is toxic. If the feedback isn't taken well, go to director. This kind of behavior should be squashed.

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Don't negotiate with terrorists

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I’m in a similar situation.
I just take it and will move on. They probably have some stuff going on behind the scenes.

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I had a supervisor like this... And I quit with my middle fingers in the air. I recall working 48 hours in 3 days so that I could take my first two days of vacation and I messaged him to ask if all was good for me to disconnect for two days and that I tied out all my work for this week and even did extra to keep him at bay. I had taken a screen shot of his message saying you're good you covered all bases... He told my senior manager that I skipped out and had all this unfinished work... Well jokes on him because I had taken a screen shot of our conversation before leaving on vacation and sent to my boyfriend (we almost broke up because of the egregious demands this flamboyant gay man made at all hours of the day on me). Needless my boyfriend was estatic I was leaving my "other" boyfriend at bay for two days after a year of torture. Well upon my return I noticed our chat history was oddly blank.... Sure enough a few hours later HR called that I was going to be placed on a PIP and that I had serious performance deficiencies... Well... I at that point showed all the evidence of his demeaning and rude behavior and played voicemails that he left that were so out of this world rude. And the best part was I was able to leave the company with a nice severance package even after exclaiming I quit and I can't deal with this anymore and they covered my health benefit for several months and I was still eligible for unemployment because it went down as a covid layoff. Do whatever you can to document the behavior and when the moment is right you'll know what to do.

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Gotcha!

Do you have LOOP?

Roll off and find another team. Unless this person is important in your career - I’d say let others change them.

I had a manager like this, who also would constantly play the “I’m to expensive to do that” card. I tried really hard for a while to work with them, through the nonsense on the project ,but ultimately had to remove myself.

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