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I think it is important to first define what executive presence is. It is perception of a person as being capable, authoritative and trustworthy, and comprised of 3 key areas:
1. Gravitas - confidence, courage to lead, ability to lead, emotional intelligence, integrity, brand.
2. Communication - being an effective communicator and good listener.
3. Appearance - grooming, attire and mannerisms.
Gravitas is by far the most important but it is perceived through the lenses of the other two, so you can’t get those two wrong either because it could significantly impact others’ perceptions. You also have to realize that where as you can nail appearance relatively quickly and on a certain extent communications (takes a bit longer and certainly practice makes perfect, but again you can get there), but gravitas simply takes time to develop.
So let’s chat about that one because I think that’s the one you’re asking about.
I have to hop off but will be back with some thoughts on part 2 ;)
following, cant wait to hear the rest
Tactical tips for improving confidence. Please add yours.
What is confidence? Believing in yourself and demonstrating that belief to others, so they do to.
1. Track your achievements - whether it is daily or weekly or monthly on a piece of paper or in your head. We forget how far we’ve come. We beat ourselves up for a mistake we made today when we absolutely killed it yesterday.
2. Be prepared. I always hope for the best but plan for the worst. Overprepare for big meetings, for example. Think of different scenarios that could happen, what questions could be asked. Run the simulations in your head and with your team. Yes, sometimes I know the answers because of my experience, but most of the time it is because we have prepped those answers.
3. Mistakes are good, so change your mindset. Think of them positively and as an opportunity to learn. Also don’t be afraid to acknowledge them when warranted. There is tremendous power in saying, “you’re right. This was an f-up. This is what we learned from it and this is how we will make sure it doesn’t happen again.” I tell my clients all the time, “We may make mistakes. But you know what, I promise you, we will always be honest with you, acknowledge them and fix them.”
4. Watch your reactions. One of the biggest give aways for lack of executive presence in general, and confidence specifically, is reacting too quickly and/or overreacting. Breathe. Pause. Think. Defer if needed. “That is a valid observation. Let me think about this and come back to you.” “I realize this is very frustrating. It’s if for me as well. Let’s focus on how to resolve this.”
5. Be physically comfortable and have positive reminders near you. We all have those outfits that make us feel like a million bucks. Wear those. Figure out what it is about them and recreate them so they become your wardrobe. Or items that make us smile. Keep those handy.
I am in a new position where I’m not in leadership/supervisory as I thought I would be, and have been for many years.
I’m struggling with reacting when challenged by much less experienced peers who are “in” with leadership. How to salvage a few defensive reactions?
How to show what I have to offer if I’m not at the table? I’ve never been faced with this before.
Good morning. Back for part 2... gravitas and how to build it. A friendly reminder/disclaimer that I’m not an author or a psychologist and these constitute my opinions. I welcome all of you to chime in. I’m going to break these into shorter posts because it’s easier for me to type that way and hopefully for you to read and discuss. Also if the interest slows down, I will also stop vs continuing to write a novel.
When I look at the 6 items that make up gravitas - confidence, courage to lead, ability to lead, emotional intelligence, integrity and brand, I notice 2 things:
1. Each one is a topic of a conversation on its own, ie they are that significant and complex and span the course of your entire career, so we could honestly spend a lot of time taking about it. And there’s a tremendous value in that. I will tell you why later.
2. Each one of these topics is in turn comprised of 3 things that impact their development:
- your inherent ability - some of us are more inclined towards being empathetic, for example, which is part of emotional intelligence.
- awareness and ability to adjust your behaviors through learning by other means than experiencing them, ie by reading, by talking to others, etc.
- experiences - this is the best and make sure way to get there but it also takes time. This is why executives generally have better gravitas as compared to new recruits.
Why am I telling you this? Because I think it is important to recognize that you can only take it so far without experiences, ie time. I also think it is important to self-asses where you are now and that gives you a little bit of a scale at least .
please continue. I'm listening
For me, it was realizing that nobody actually feels 100% (or even 80%) confident. I left for industry at my peak Imposter Syndrome. There, realized my worth due to how dysfunctional it was. Came back and understand that despite everyone not knowing their ass from their elbow (otherwise why hire us), I have a lot to offer regarding leadership, root cause analysis, and the deceptively simple tactic of getting 💩 done
Can I also ask how this is different for a woman relative to a man. What changes should I make as a SM to give that assurance to Partners that I am worth grooming...and have leadership potential. My partners do identify me as a leader right now, but acknowledge it has to be at the next level. What is a woman’s card in this context?
thanks P1. vocal fry is not like valley speak though :) vocal fry is when your pitch becomes too low. breath is the key here. one way to work on it is to use shorter sentences. and I agree it's pretty archaic terminology. I had to look it up myself when it was mentioned to me.
Fantastic response P1. Thank you!
Any books you recommend apart from Emotional Intelligence ?
EY2, HBR has some pretty good collections but, to be honest, I heart read anything in a true book format on this topic.