How to handle off-putting comments from men? I’m a 3rd year in insurance law and we use generally use this one claim/risk analyst. Just called him about one case (cont’d in comments).

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You’re not being too sensitive. That’s gross and inappropriate. It’s the kind of sexually charged comment that has an innocent veneer so that the speaker has plausible deniability. If you aren’t comfortable speaking with anyone just yet, make a record of the conversation (notes, time, date, etc.) If it happens again, consider reaching out to someone you trust at the firm, or HR. Bottom line: it’s not your fault, you’re not being sensitive, he’s behaving inappropriately, your reactions are totally legitimate, and I’m just so sorry you even have to deal with this.

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This. Document this now. This is _not_ nirmal or acceptable behavior at all.

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If he goes on for more than 3 minutes about it, I would cut him off (respectfully) and say something like "That sounds really interesting, but I really need an answer on [case you had originally called about] because I have a meeting in 10 minutes and really don't want to have to disturb you again".

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He spent most of the time talking about another case (which I hadn’t asked about) involving a woman with serious gynecological issues- going really in-depth about her physical problems and sexual history, and telling me how much he knows about gyn things. At the end, he said “but I can’t give you a gyn exam because I’m not a doctor!” I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it and I just laughed it off at the time, but it made me feel weird and uncomfortable. Am I being too sensitive? Please tell me if I am- I probably just need to grow a thicker skin.

You are not being too sensitive. That comment was inappropriate. Trust your gut that made you feel weird and uncomfortable

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Document and have your paralegal in the room next time on speaker. I have told an opposing counsel that he was on speaker with my paralegal in the room before. I told him it was because the content of our last conversation made me uncomfortable and I thought it would be best to have a third party in the room in case things got off topic again. Sure he was an ass to me after that but it beat being sexually harassed. Please please don’t take this mans trash. Don’t internalize it. Don’t think it’s your fault. This behavior is disgusting. I used to go along with this stuff because I thought I did something to encourage it and that standing up for myself would harm my client. That’s not true. What did harm me was staying silent and just being a receptacle of misogyny

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