How to move on from a 5 year relationship breakup? I cannot concentrate in meetings at all. Often get panic attacks as well. It’s getting tough and will really appreciate your help if somebody was ever in this state.

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It's very hard to put aside those thoughts and move on with life as of everything is normal. I'd be lying if I told you that "taking it slow", "forgetting about past, look into future", or "get it out once in a while" will make things better over night. It won't. There's a reason you are distracted from your routine life, and you know it. Solution here varies from individual to individual. But mostly, you need to feel, observe and make peace with the ache and try accepting reality bit by bit everyday. It need to be an active process like taking meds for an illness.
However, I can empathize you well, and wish you will see the light from the other side of this tunnel.
P.S. your work will be effected for sure but you can control by how much. All best.

likehelpful

Grife is very important. It will take some time (totally depends on the person). Trust me at the end everything will be okay. You will laugh again. You will meet a sweet person. Please don't get into another relationship all of a sudden. Take your time according to me for at least a year.

Spend some time alone, find yourself. Your interests. You don't have to interact with a lot of people. Maybe this time you can go for a long ride, or travel with bunch of strange people, and have some fun with them, trust me you will get a stranger to share what's going on with you. Let it go.

Decide what you want to do next. Concentrate on that. Give your 110%. Make yourself busy. Meet your close friend hug and cry. Sleep beside them. It will heal you.

Healing is an important process. Joine some meditation class. Learn how you can concentrate your energy and emotions. Meditate 1 hr per day. Start with 10minutes, gradually increase the time.

Everything gonna be alright 🙂. Trust me I have gone through the worst. Last year my father passed away, I wasn't having well paid job, I lost interest in sex nor having time for her. All she want my presence. Couldn't able to do that. She broke up with me. I was on dipression for an year. I concentrate my time on my work. Got excellence award in work. I forgot grife. It broke me again. Again I climbed up. I build myself this years. Now I have everything best job best life. I'm totally happy now. Finally I could able to laugh things are getting normal. Healing take time.

I wish all the very best. I'm living in electronic City. If you need some help you can reach me out on this number 8848020914. We can have small drink talk about it. 😍

likehelpful

Highly empathetic response - awesome!

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Keep ur self busy. Watch 500 days of summer, blue valentine. Learn to play any musical instruments. Get in contact with ur friends. If u are getting depressed to much talk to the expert.
It's totally normal to feel this way. I remember my first breakup i couldn't even get out of bed for 2 weeks, couldn't swallow food, everything was so depressing. Time heals everything.

likehelpful

Totally Agree! Thats the SOP to deal with it

helpful

Keep yourself busy with cooking, cleaning, office work, surround yourself with your loved ones

likehelpful

We are the generation of broken hearts and broken people. I used to cry in the office when I had my first breakup.
It took me almost a year to come out of it. Still, I get flashbacks.
You will be good but it will take time. Memories cannot be erased, they can be overwritten.
Go out, make new friends, make new memories. It will be difficult but believe me you will be fine.

likehelpful

First step to handle any rejection, failure or breakup is to identify what's happening within. You need to tell yourself that these thoughts and feelings you're having about him / her "are your weak moments" and if you continue to "sink and dwell" into these weak moments you'll make yourself miserable and and won't be able to move on
(Remember those exams and interviews where we didn't do well? We dwell into the weak moments and tell ourselves how fucked up stupid we are and forget about it in few days, but when facing interview / exam those thoughts rush back we get nervous and panick).
So no matter what you won't dwell into these weak moments if those thoughts occur. Promise to yourself Rn.

Second step would be to remove everything from your surroundings that reminds you of him/ her. Social media, photos, even phone number, gifts etc remove all of these reminders from your life. If you think those are precious put them in a Google drive or at a dumping place in home where you won't look for it on everyday basis. Deleting and throwing every reminder in trash works best though. Nothing is more important than your mental peace.

Thirdly, rediscover who you were again before relationship happened. What were the things you used to love 5 years ago for instance badminton, gym, music, solo trip, reconnecting with friends. Try slowly picking up those stuff again one by one as it helps fill the void in your life.

Finally, having a dump friend who understands you to core helps you a lot. I had a girl-space-friend to whom I used to tell everything uncensored in absolute minute detail for example, insecurities, people I hate, how fucked up I feel etc without giving a second thought. If you've such person, he / she will aid your journey a long way.

likehelpful

This is very helpful, thank you

I have been in a similar situation, not from a breakup. Cognitive Behavior Therapy worked for me. I was so depressed, could not do anything, everything seemed so worthless. Tried to keep myself busy, but that didnt work. At one point, it was full of suicidal thoughts and i was very sceptic about everything. I came across CBT, but i was very sure it will be of no use. But to my surprise it worked like charm.

So, if you are willing to come out of the state of mind you are in, CBT might work. Or else, may be you will find something else that works for you. As long as you have the will, i am sure you will definitely find a way out. All the Best!

likehelpful

Not a portal.. friend of friend recommended him.

Thank you everyone, suddenly I am feeling I have got a family on fishbowl, really appreciate all of you responding to this. Means a lot.

likesmart

Call me bud whenever you want 📞😊.
Might not be a good speaker but definitely a good listener.

helpfullike

your number?

Try to give yourself some slack. Staying busy is great, but so is feeling your feelings when you can (obviously after work). If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream or yell or be angry, let it happen. Try not to be mad or frustrated with yourself for how you're feeling, it's totally normal and it'll take time to get to know yourself and build routines again without another person in your life.

likehelpful

Pray.

helpfulfunny

Take a vacation and visit scenic location for atleast a week and join some meditation classes and do seva this will get you out.

likehelpful

Start writing about what you feel. It can be very healing. We tend to evade the problems, writing makes you acknowledge it. And then it diminishes in size

likehelpful

Spend more time with friends and family

likehelpful

Ask a simple question to urself...
What else you can do that u never did in those 5 years ?
Answer is nothing right ?
The one who don't give a fuk to all those memories ,bond time u spent, don't deserve a single thought/ a another second of ur life..
Find a way to hate more than u used to love❤️
Heal urself, u have to and by the time u will..



Thanks me later!

likehelpful

I would suggest have some break free from work. Refresh your mind by going ssomehwere with family/friends it'll help cherish your mood

helpful

I really would suggest you to take some time off a go on a solo trip.... Watch how the life changes for you by getting a totally different perspective of it.

helpful

Go to Malaysia and Dubai. Best therapy .

helpful

Take small mindful steps everyday.....

Try to be in present as much as possible. It would be difficult at the beginning....maybe start with a walk, taking cold shower first thing you wake up, enjoying coffee, watching sunset, petting a dog, talking to friend, excercise ,meditation..... As far as possible be in the moment and try to create things that make you be in the moment...these things helped me.

helpful

If that girl/boy is not thinking about you. If she/he is not giving a fuk about you. Then why you are making your life hel.

Think about your parents, they have made you this much capable enough to just to see their child thinking about suicide ? and that too for a fking girl/boy who had thrown you out like anything.

Just think about your loved ones. Be with them. Go somewhere out with them. You will heal soon.

Dust her/him off champion. You are a WARRIOR.

If you need a shoulder I am a call away.

helpful

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