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Constantly resisting the urge to quit
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Constantly resisting the urge to quit
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I can't understand you when you're complaining and then stare blankly and stay strong. If they keep whining "still can't understand you"
And look them in the eye at their level. That helps.
Ignore it. walk away. Give them zero attention (good or bad)
And then praise the heck out of out them when they ask politely
I had a licensed social worker tell me "Do not negotiate with terrorists." Best parenting advice I've ever received.
Chief
What are they whining about? Do they have chores or jobs around the house? It is a bit of an issue with that age and will get better.
If it’s affecting you that seriously, I’d talk to a therapist. No shame or judgement, just someone to help you talk through things and frame or approach for future.
Chief
I tend to be less sympathetic and talk about being grateful for what you do have etc. and have them share some responsibility around the house to teach them work ethic. It also may be helpful to check out a few Instagram accounts like Big Little Feelings, curious parenting, our mama village, they help me with some topics. On food, I try to plan at least one thing in a meal I know they’ll like or let them choose the meal once per week or have them help prepare part of it. Being involved in these ways helps give them some control and feel like they have more freedom and input.
Honestly, we had a break through when we identified a whine tone of voice so we can laugh about being whiney. I point out all the things he has to be happy about and juxtapose with the whining..
(Eg I’m having fun playing games online but I’m missing a hot wheels car wah wah. We have a beautiful life and a beach house, but my dad lives in another state wah wah). I contribute stuff I’m annoyed about too.
The special tone of voice gives legitimacy in the feeling but manages the relative importance of it.
And yes we’ve been doing this since he was 5/6.. seems to work well for us
It’s hard to explain in this forum. It works for me but might not work for everyone!
I've tried "it isn't up for discussion" when I make a statement and that has helped a great deal. That said, it took a few months to get there.
Thank you!!
If you figure it out, let me know (mom of 17 year old complainer….). His behavior hasn’t changed much but I’ve learned to just ignore it.
6 years old? My heart just dropped. My 2 year old is doing this and it’s driving me up the wall. I can’t believe I have a whole lifetime of this to go 😂 FML
I heard that the transition/between years would be ten times worse