{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Husband and I are 8 months in to trying to conceive. After consulting with my doctors, based on my history w/ vaccines, we decided it is best to not get the vaccine while TTC. My obgyn also wants 18 months of consecutive trying before we start testing / looking at other options. My firm just changed policy to only allow vaccinated in the office and made hard deadline for everyone else to get vaccinated. Not sure what to do. Don’t want to tell employer I’m TTC but also don’t want to get fired.", "post_id": "610a70edd412c500201683d0", "reply_count": 48, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5da60c126e5f0d001f32f497", "bowl_name": "Women in Law" }

Husband and I are 8 months in to trying to conceive. After consulting with my doctors, based on my history w/ vaccines, we decided it is best to not get the vaccine while TTC. My obgyn also wants 18 months of consecutive trying before we start testing / looking at other options. My firm just changed policy to only allow vaccinated in the office and made hard deadline for everyone else to get vaccinated. Not sure what to do. Don’t want to tell employer I’m TTC but also don’t want to get fired.

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If you have a history of dangerously bad vaccine responses, can you get a primary care doctor to make the recommendation? If you're worried about effects on fertility, I would be far more concerned with getting covid (both on fertility and pregnancy) than getting the vaccine. And your OBG wanting 18 months of trying is very weird, I'd find another doctor. PS. Don't forget that your first fertility test should be your husband's sperm, least invasive and easiest test to do.

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Unrelated to your specific question but relates to the underlying issue. Find a new ObGyn. The recommended length of time for trying for under age 35 is one year and 6 months for over 35. I would go ahead and make an appointment with an RE. It can take a couple months to get in sometimes. On top of that it can take a bit to determine if there’s any fertility issues through testing. It doesn’t hurt to get started on that. Like basic blood work and semen analysis. It’s minimally invasive to get your blood work done to make sure that you’re actually ovulating or check your AMH levels. I ended up having to go through testing and then ivf. I know people aren’t always open about their experiences with infertility but feel free to dm me about it.

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This so much! My REI specialist was so much more knowledgeable than my OB. Wish I had consulted sooner!

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Idk what are your medical reasons for not getting vaxxed but 18 months is a long time (I have never heard of more than 12 and if you’re older it would be even less). I would get vaxxed and go to a fertility specialist but that’s me. I got pregnant shortly after being vaxxed 🤷🏼‍♀️

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And employer may ask for specifics of medical condition. This is a request for accommodation under the ADA. Look at law. Vague assertion that you have a medical issue is probably not sufficient.

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Look this is going to sound harsh because I have a pre-existing condition, I’m tired, and I have had to put my own TTC plans on hold because even vaccinated I just cannot take the risk that I’ll be in a hospital to deliver during an outbreak now that Delta is infecting vaccinated people. If you have a history of bad reactions to vaccines, your doctor can probably write you a letter that has nothing to do with TTC. People are dying and this is serious. Firms cannot be less stringent with their employees lives because you want to conceive this year. It sucks that you are getting caught up in antivax bullshit, but you have a medical excuse and they are going to let you use that. They need to do this for the benefit of literally everyone else. Either get the vaccine or get the letter. It’s not a big burden compared to the death happening all around us. This effects more than just you.

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I agree this sounds harsh but I think A4 is right. Get the letter if you don’t want to get vaxxed during this, OP. Due to prior reactions to vaccines, you’re one of the people that the rest of us need to get this vaccine TO PROTECT. Side note: took me a looooong ass time to get pregnant and depending on age I think I’d get a second opinion re: testing. Happy to speak SUPER openly about anything if you want to DM me, but no pressure at all (since I know you didn’t ask about this)!

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Don’t let anyone judge you for being unvaxxed! If that is the best medical route for YOU and discussed between you and a medical professional then proceed out! The rest of us are lawyers not doctors so we shouldn’t be giving medical advice especially without full medical history since everyone is different!

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As suggested by others, get a statement from your doctor stating vaccination is not recommended for you at this time. Period. No further explanation needed. If your firm fires you, consider it a blessing and move on to a better place. Good luck!

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Yes, that too!

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Seconding the poster who said get a letter or get vaxxed. Your health is important, but so is the health of everyone else in your office: they should not be at risk because of your vaccination status. Since you’ve had bad reactions to vaccines in the past, it absolutely makes sense to get a medical exemption based on that without mentioning pregnancy… but then don’t come to the office.

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Please don’t let anyone bully you into getting vaxxed.

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A few thoughts: first, I would absolutely not waste 18 months TTC before moving on to next steps. That’s an impossibly long period of time. Second, your doctor can right a note that is sufficiently specific without writing trying to conceive. Third, even if the note had to specify that you are TTC, you’d presumably be giving it to someone in HR or legal personnel and there is no reason it would become public information at work.

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Lol happens to me all the time its a safe space here!

Surely they have an exception for medical reasons? Could you give the firm a doctors note that doesn’t go into detail?

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Agree with this one - you can try to give vague reasons. Have your doctor basically say you are currently undergoing a medical treatment and are not a candidate for the vaccine at this time. I personally am not getting the vaccine for the same reason but have not started medical treatment so trying to figure out a similar situation.

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I’m sorry people are giving you medical advice when you didn’t ask for it. Also sorry to hear that you are struggling to conceive. I would start vague, and reevaluate if they ask for specifics. You can always ask what exactly the need to know (I.e. date of procedures, exact procedure, records, etc.)

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Amen!

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Ignore all these posts pressuring you to get vaxxed! Reach out to the medical/vaxx/return to office team of your firm and ask them exactly what they need to grant your medical exemption. Initially say that you’re uncomfortable giving details, but that you’re happy to have your doctor provide any medical info they need to HR (to be kept confidential). And go from there. Good luck!

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I know this was said before, but don’t wait 18 months. I waited 12 months, but wish we had started the testing earlier because I was already 31 and wanted a few kids. The testing revealed that I had one blocked Fallopian tube. Finding that out earlier, we could have had more time to build a larger family.

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Wow. I feel sorry for OP. You’re not doctors and she had a specific question that barely got any legal attention. And I took the LSAT in the 90s so…

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Pfizer completely changed my cycle, in a bad way. Was spotting for several weeks then was severely painful and heavy, when I have been consistent for years. I also know several other women this happened to. If you are trying to conceive, stay away from that dose because it will completely change your cycle for 1-3 months. Everything I look up says “we have no idea why this is happening”, so no idea if this has caused me any real long term effects or just changed my cycle for these past few months. You should probably still get it but I would stay away from that dose.

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M1 I got the Pfizer shot and had no such effects so you are wrong to say “it will change your cycle for 1-3 months”. In fact I got pregnant about two months later.

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I’m 39 and currently pregnant with my first. We conceived 3 weeks after my second shot and we are both healthy! From a peace of mind standpoint, we personally waited to really “try” until we were both vaccinated and so happy that we did.

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get vaxxed

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Can you have your doctor write a note about a “medical procedure “ you can’t take the vaccine for? Maybe the authority of the third party doctor will outweigh the lack of specificity. I’m really sorry that you’re getting caught up in the consequences of other people’s anti-vax bullshit.

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Or talk to your doctor about changing the 18 month requirement in this situation. If trying is keeping you from getting the vax, seems like a perfectly good reason to change that completely arbitrary rule on their end too.

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My fertility doc said 12 months of trying at or under 29, and 6 months of trying at 30 or older. Surely you can get your doc to write you a vague medical exemption note? Also, I know how disheartening it can be when you’re trying and you continue to see the negative results, but it will happen! Husband and I tried for over a year and we are now expecting. Hang in there

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I would get vaccinated and wait for 2 weeks after your 2nd shot to TTC. My OBGYN made me wait 12 months to get tested, it was a LONG time. I got pregnant immediately after testing which resolved the issue. Could not have gotten pregnant without a little help. This is your life, get safe with the V and get tested.

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Agreed with the commentary on getting a vague medical note from your doc. If they want more detail you can push back then and demand they explain the business rationale for needing more info and whether they are more qualified to make your healthcare decisions than your doctor. I doubt they ask for more - would be too risky. On the conception front - try PreSeed lubricant. Has worked for me and several friends. Inexpensive and worth a shot.

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