Husband is extremely stressed at his work , overworked and in a toxic environment. He puts in 12- 13 hrs days and I end up doing most of child care & house work along with my job. He has no time to look for another job while being at his current job. I see Covid + work is taking a toll on his mental health. He broke down & cried 2-3 times this year. This weekend, he finally decided to quit his job, take a month break and start looking for a new job next year. (Cont)

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OP, make sure you’re not stuck doing a full time job and child care while he’s only focusing on job search. It’s important to take care of your mental health too. Split up workload and set the tone from the get-go. Also, how long are you ok supporting the family while he job searches? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Discuss these timelines and expectations with him. Good luck to you!

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Thank you for your response. Husband and I have been together almost 2 decades now and he has supported me when I took a 10 month career break a few years ago. He feels guilty about quitting and loss of pay. He also splits work equally at home & is responsible husband/dad. Is the main cook in the family. In the recent months though, his work pressure has me picking up 90% in-house load and I know that he feels shitty about that. So I have no worries that he will stick me the house chores or drag out job search.

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I have no wisdom, OP, but sending you and your family all the good vibes. Good luck to your husband in his search! I’ve been sort of looking to see who’s hiring recently and was surprised at how many job postings there are. The market for jobs, at least for certain kinds of office work, is pretty good these days! So he’ll find something soon.

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I know it’s the right thing to do for him, we have decent rainy day fund but I can’t help feel anxious. His job and stress were very stressful for me to handle along with my job and online school for my child, so this might be better for both of us mentally. But can’t help feel I am trading in one anxiety for another. How can I be supportive of my spouse, while feeling anxious myself?

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not exactly sure if this is helpful but how did you feel supported by your spouse when you took a 10 month break? id probably just mirror those actions and remind yourself that he was supportive of you during your tough times.

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