{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Husband told me the other week he had the first business trip scheduled that he would fly to. I don’t understand why that can’t be done virtually, given the last 1.5 years, but he seems to be set on the fact that he’s “expected” to travel for work and is booking the tickets. We both are vaccinated but have two very young children who aren’t. It’s not even Covid that’s at the top of my mind but rather the pointlessness of resuming business travel. Am I overreacting?", "post_id": "60feda5ad858d400267c512f", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

Husband told me the other week he had the first business trip scheduled that he would fly to. I don’t understand why that can’t be done virtually, given the last 1.5 years, but he seems to be set on the fact that he’s “expected” to travel for work and is booking the tickets. We both are vaccinated but have two very young children who aren’t. It’s not even Covid that’s at the top of my mind but rather the pointlessness of resuming business travel. Am I overreacting?

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OP, did you consider that your husband might just want to get out of the house for a few days - after spending 1.5 years around 2 little kids and everything that comes with it? Maybe he craves some "alone" time, some "adults only" time, some "anywhere but here" time? Food for thought...

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Yes, and asked him that question directly. We have a very candid relationship where each party is able to answer a question like this affirmatively without being blamed. I’m sure there is part of that but it wasn’t the driving factor for him.

helpful

I guess I don’t understand why you think you can tell him how to do his job better than he knows how to do his job. If he says he needs to or is expected to be on site, why are you getting mad and trying to argue with him?

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You mentioned the career cap in a previous comment, that wasn’t my insinuation. I think you just need to separate the issues. You’re nervous about him returning to travel. That’s a totally valid concern. But I don’t think it’s valid for you (or I) to decide what’s pointless or not for his career. If he thinks it’s necessary, then I think it’s necessary. Regardless of how many pointless meetings you and I have been to— sometimes the ones that seem pointless are important to the relationship building aspect with the client. If you’re nervous about him returning fo travel, that just seems irrelevant to whether it’s an important meeting or not.

How long is the trip? If covid isnt your main concern what is really bothering you about the “pointlessness” of it? Plenty of things I do in my workweek for clients could be considered pointless lol but I do them. If it’s a short trip and not likely to occur every week seems like not a big deal

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It’s a short trip and you’re right. Good perspective.

Depends on his industry. It’s somewhat optional for me but when it comes time for promotions those that stay working from home will be overlooked.

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I work in tax, too 🤷🏼‍♀️

My fully-vaccinated husband has flown about once a month since February (he’s a veteran and considered an essential employee so was vaccinated by the VA quite early). He works in the energy industry in a specialty that requires face time in low-vax areas. He masks, generally maintains distance and mitigates risk to the best combo of personal preference/stakeholder management. If he could deliver the same quality in his job function without doing it, of course I would prefer that, but it’s not reality right now. I don’t love it, but it’s not such high risk that I feel it’s worth risking very apparent career benefits.

smart

Thank you for sharing this. Good perspective.

If all you did was question why he needs to travel at a time when big4 is all about questioning the necessity of travel, then no, you’re not overreacting. I think being concerned about covid exposure for your small kids is also not overreacting (especially if there’s a chance your husband will be meeting with unmasked unvaccinated people). But, I guess it’s a “pick your battles” thing. If he engaged in a conversation with you about it and cared about your perspective, and gave you some sort of reasonable explanation for the need to travel, and committed to taking covid precautions, I’d be more accepting. I’d be annoyed if he acted like I was being totally unreasonable by voicing my concerns.

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Thank you for this! And no, he listened to what I had to say and explained his perspective. A couple of times 😂😂😂

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In some companies people are traveling left and right, so your husband might not have a choice too

True. Not at ours, tho.

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