I (28F) went on a date and everything was going great until the guy (33M) revealed he was currently carrying an active handgun on his belt for protection. I talked to some friends and family about this and they don't think it's a big deal. The date was otherwise really great. I just can't seem to get over this piece.

Has anyone ever been in a relationship where you had differing opinions on the gun control debate?

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As someone who has a been through an abusive relationship, I would never trust any man with a gun, no exceptions. I think guns attract a certain type of person & I don’t need that in my life.

That’s just my personal opinion/experience though

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Carry everywhere.

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Well I got my husband into shooting. We now both own guns. It’s a lot of fun, and I feel very safe when one or both of us CCW.

Not sure why it bothers you, maybe you’ve never been around them so it seems overwhelming, so ask him to take you to the range, and watch a few safety videos first. Once you handle and shoot them you’ll realize that they are just tools.
Remember trigger discipline, and only point at something you’re willing to destroy. That last one reminds me every time I handle a gun to be mindful of where I’m aiming.

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BCG must be from NYC or something that this shocks her and she can’t believe it. Where I grew up you have to carry or you end up like my friend getting mauled by a hog

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If it makes you feel unsafe, then it’s not a fit. Gun control is one of those issues that people feel really strongly about, and it’s hard to bring them to the other side. You don’t need other people to tell you how YOU should feel about guns. If I were your friend, I’d tell you to end it — not because I hate guns, but because you sound so uneasy. Even if you could “get over it” while it’s just the two of you, there will be downstream implications on raising a family, etc.

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I always have my gun on me. No matter where I go. None of my dates ever had issues with this. If you have issues with this guy carrying, you should stop seeing him asap and get someone who doesn’t carry. Period. I do carry because of something that happened to me unfortunately. People do things for different reasons. There are 7 billion people on earth so stick to people who share the same values as you.

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If you disagree on fundamental values, then trying to make it work / thinking you can change the other person - won’t work imo

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I wouldn't continue, Having a gun at home is one, carrying everywhere..nah, not for me

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Men and their guns… on their pants and in their pants. Always causing trouble.

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Lol. What is an active handgun? How is it different from an inactive handgun?

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How did it come up in conversation? That to me is the pivotal thing.

Also, prior military or something else?

There is a huge difference between carrying and cowboying. In this instance, if he was being a braggart, that’s much more the ‘cowboying’, which is not a mark of character you should look for.

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He’s a gun nut. Leave.

My parents differ on this topic but have been married forever. 🤷‍♀️

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Yes, there have been a huge uptick in mass shooting — times certainly have changed

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Absolutely. I don’t like guns. I don’t like touching them. I don’t want to hear one go off. They make me uncomfortable. But I dated a cop. It didn’t affect our relationship at all. We didn’t even talk about guns. If your worry is that it would end up being an issue, I don’t have the raw data, but I’m 99.9% sure that it doesn’t have to be.

But to each their own, it’s YOUR relationship. You ARE allowed to be romantically attracted, or not attracted, to anything/anyone you want for any reason because at the end of the day, it’s your companionship. anyone trying to police that, needs to mind their business.

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Don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’ve initially taken it to be. I personally own a gun (don’t concealed carry at the moment, but likely will start in the future). One of my primary motivations for owning it is to be better prepared to defend my SO in the event that it’s needed. I would add that I’m also pretty pro gun control in most cases, but a handgun for personal/home defense is a very reasonable thing to have.

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If you didn’t feel safe that’s all that matters. Follow what YOU think.

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Y’all sounding like CNN and Fox News went out on a date in the Amazon jungle! It’s a FIRST DATE!
I’m Asian. Imagine me coming to dinner with my Samurai sword and disc blades and we gave a few drinks and I convince you it’s for your for safety from the bar tender who could get drunk anytime because he’s got easy access to alcohol.

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Wow! This gets even better as we get more context.

Do you live in a rough area or is he LARPing

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I think you’re making weird inferences, but it doesn’t matter. This is about the fact that you’re carrying a gun doesn’t need to be advertised unnecessarily. But I don’t expect you to understand that.

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What does gun control have anything to do with him carrying? You do know the debate is not whether or not he should have a weapon right? At best it’s universal background checks so even if gun control passed successfully, unless he was unstable, he would still be allowed to carry

I think it's equally odd that he brought up carry on a first date and that you were so turned off by it, but I agree with the majority here. If anything that makes him so excited makes you so nervous then you're probably not a good fit.

FWIW my SO and I have different opinions on 2A and it's a non-issue for us because neither of us are all that passionate about it. She wanted to know how it worked when we moved in together (i.e. how to unload it herself) and that was more or less the end of it.

This was the point I was trying to make above. Plenty of times have I carried a gun, never have I announced to my company that I was carrying a gun. Strange behavior.

Good guy with a gun ego/fantasy 🙄

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