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And it also has to do with moving to a English speaking country at a young age without speaking English and moving school 5 times during primary schools. Not being able to make friends made me a subject of bullying at school that also now makes me self conscious about social interactions
My parents assume the worst in ppl usually and growing up with them, I would automatically assume that someone didn’t like me if they for example left my text message on read and would overthink about what I did. Turns out, ppl are mainly self-absorbed and might not even think a lot about you. Although it’s true that not everyone will like you due to personality/upbringing differences, you don’t like everyone either so there’s no point in hoping for everyone to like you.
I noticed a very similar thing in myself too. I ended up discovering it was because if someone didn’t like me or approve of me, I felt intense painful shame about it. I felt bad if someone felt bad about something I did.
I’m not sure if it was Asian parenting though. My parents were pretty awful to me. CPS level awful.
Yours sounds a bit different though. But the main idea is stuff that has happened to us effect us on a subconscious and fundamental level.
Also I’m sorry to hear about your experience with your parents and childhood. I find that childhood experiences determine such a big part of your identity even as an adult, and as a child you have no control over what happens to you.