{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I always get intensely self conscious and insecure about whether people like me / what people think of me to the extent it is overwhelming and consuming… and I think it’s because of the Asian parenting I received growing up, being constantly criticised and belittled for anything (and being told that others look down on me too) that my mind is wired to think that way and assume others do too. Does anyone relate?", "post_id": "61375826ff1072002b18f584", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "5a898b0457e95c001826dcad", "bowl_name": "Asians in Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

I always get intensely self conscious and insecure about whether people like me / what people think of me to the extent it is overwhelming and consuming… and I think it’s because of the Asian parenting I received growing up, being constantly criticised and belittled for anything (and being told that others look down on me too) that my mind is wired to think that way and assume others do too. Does anyone relate?

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And it also has to do with moving to a English speaking country at a young age without speaking English and moving school 5 times during primary schools. Not being able to make friends made me a subject of bullying at school that also now makes me self conscious about social interactions

likefunny

My parents assume the worst in ppl usually and growing up with them, I would automatically assume that someone didn’t like me if they for example left my text message on read and would overthink about what I did. Turns out, ppl are mainly self-absorbed and might not even think a lot about you. Although it’s true that not everyone will like you due to personality/upbringing differences, you don’t like everyone either so there’s no point in hoping for everyone to like you.

smartfunny

I noticed a very similar thing in myself too. I ended up discovering it was because if someone didn’t like me or approve of me, I felt intense painful shame about it. I felt bad if someone felt bad about something I did. I’m not sure if it was Asian parenting though. My parents were pretty awful to me. CPS level awful. Yours sounds a bit different though. But the main idea is stuff that has happened to us effect us on a subconscious and fundamental level.

funny

Also I’m sorry to hear about your experience with your parents and childhood. I find that childhood experiences determine such a big part of your identity even as an adult, and as a child you have no control over what happens to you.

funny

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