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Hi male here , any one interested msg me
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Best Bloomberg newsletter?
Chief
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Additional Posts in Confession
Rising Star
Massimo vs Nacho? And why?
Chief
Same, but not depressed. Yet, that is. 🥺 I hate it when I talk about it to friends. Yes I’m grateful, but I’m just not happy. Therapy is helping me shift my focus to stop basing happiness on “things”.
Visual Storyteller
Stop looking for constant- go out on dates, have fun - a constant may come out of that. Start making time for yourself to have fun.
Chief
Sounds cliche but: Stop trying and start doing it 👏
Conversation Starter
Same
How do you cope ? I try to keep myself busy, but I don’t think i can help myself anymore.
Chief
Hi, don’t be! Many people put career first (I guess that happened to you); maybe it’s time to take a break; enjoy life, and reassess what you want to do. I call this the “consultant love life syndrome”….. happens ALL THE TIME
Chief
I think it would help; and I’m sure many in this bowl would share the same thought. Do it girl! You are in control of your own destiny :) be selfish and do it for you
Started therapy and got on meds - perhaps try both :)
I really do need the change, just can’t get to the how!!!
Honestly same. Aware of it but not depressed.
Work travel and living away from fam took a toll on building meaningful relationships and I became aware that I was approaching 30 with only a career as my personality.
I took a pay cut 2 months ago for an industry job that is. 9-6.
Moved in with family until offices open up next year .
So far, I feel like I’m glowing from taking my time back and being with my hometown friends and family.
Good luck op! Think about taking a few months off to travel and interview in a different industry.
The job market right now is on your side, and you can always fall back to a competitor if you job search doesn’t work out.
Pro
I’ve met my current SO when I was 29. I was previously in a dead end relationship. I was successful at work, worked crazy hours, had a bright future, had a nice house, families and friends, but I was miserable. And no one knew that I was miserable. I somewhat took a step back with my career, switched temporarily to a less stressful role. During that time, I became a much more relaxed person, I started to enjoy the small things, I had time and energy to explore other areas in life, took lessons to learn a foreign language, took painting classes, explored different types of ethnic food, traveled solo, etc. Things started to fall into the right places, and I met my SO. He is the love of my life, and I am incredibly happy with him, but I also don’t want to give him too much credit for ‘turning my life around’, for the lack of a better term. I am a happier person because I made efforts to become a more well-rounded interesting person, not just someone who is all about work. I took the time to reflect and digest things going on in my life, finally admitted than my mom is toxic and so I learned to stop trying to impress her. And as a happier person, I was ready for a relationship, I can serve as a better life partner for someone. Sorry for the novel, what I am trying to say is if you want your life to change, you have to do something differently. Inaction is only going to cause more stress and issues. Give yourself the time and the energy so you can learn to be a happier person, it’s a skill that you can learn.
Pro
OP, you have to let go at the concept of ‘trying harder’, it’s an oxymoron. And it’s not about a routine. It’s difficult to explain, you can’t approach this while thinking ‘I’m going to not work this evening and squeeze out a few hours to go to a dance lesson’, it’s too stressful. When I took on the new role, I also had to move to a new city, I was lonely and vulnerable, I had the weekends completely free with no stress and no thought of ‘I need to do ABC on Monday’, it was involuntary (other than the fact that I took on a new role), I didn’t proactively choose to set a routine so I could be happy (only if life is that process oriented). I remember one Saturday waking up, and said to myself that I was going to the farmer market and buy myself fresh flowers, then I mapped out the subway lines, figured out how to get there, and bought flowers four hours later. Honestly the flowers weren’t that great, and it was exhausting with the subway and walking, but I still regularly reflect on that feeling, when I was in the subway looking forward to the flowers.
The efforts should be made to put yourself in the situation/stage where these things can happen, not necessary making efforts to make these things happen.
To me this is the most classic trap of certain personalities + career choices. The only thing good in your life is a career and over time the only thing left in your life is a career. No one intends it, it just becomes the thing you build your life around and guess what it’s highly socially acceptable.
The real thing to me is, stop looking for a centerpiece to build your life around. It shouldn’t be a career, but it also shouldn’t be an SO or child or a dog. You can’t go from one orbit to another, that’s just unhealthy.
You need to unhook yourself from your career to find the space to understand and develop further. I also sincerely suggest talking to a therapist, mostly because you need someone who doesn’t have their own relationship to manage around you to give you some genuine real talk.
This is really helpful ! I get your point and I think I agree with it totally! All I look for is orbits, and I shouldn’t !
I will also get in touch with a therapist.
Treat dating like a job for a bit, go on one date per week for a month or two. Be upfront about your job demands, try and find a man on a similarly demanding industry, he will understand.
I was single for five years and did this, found my partner haha I got so lucky. He is so supportive of my job and doesn’t hold it against me that sometimes I put the job first.
Same.
30F, same. Rescuing a dog fixed all of this for me. Except for the being single part, but adding such a huge commitment and responsibility to my life means that I have less time to be in my head about it and I honestly never think about it anymore and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
Pick the dating app that works for you. Most people I know use Bumble or Hinge. Try going on one date a week.
A colleague had a very similar situation. She had always prioritized work and sports over dating. One day she woke up and realized that she was 35. She worked at dating for a couple of years. And had some great stories. But she finally found Mr. Right, and they have been married for 5 years now.
I wrote a similar confession a few weeks back.
Did it help ?
Something that has helped me is tapping back into hobbies that used to give me joy (e.g., painting). Even things from your childhood 🤷🏻♀️
I try everything, they give me like momentarily happiness! And then I’m back to the loneliness !
Need to pull back from work and give yourself space to build a personal life. Ive done this too :/ Took me 6 months of 9-5ing to start to feel happy again.
It’s great when you start feeling joy when the weekend approaches and looking forward to your hobbies / seeing friends :)
OP you sound like me, except I need more friends in my life.