{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I am 30, married and been a consultant for 1.5 years. Do I need to stop traveling once I do become pregnant and have a baby? Would this make me a “bad” mom? So much stress and guilt surrounding this.", "post_id": "5b3eabcfa657c6001866be4b", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

I am 30, married and been a consultant for 1.5 years. Do I need to stop traveling once I do become pregnant and have a baby? Would this make me a “bad” mom? So much stress and guilt surrounding this.

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Also, feeling like a bad mom is part of having kids. I never knew what guilt was until I saw those baby blues 😍

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16 years of traveling and have a 7 year old. It’s all about how you set it up. I miss her but I talk to her when I’m away and she knows I love my work, and sometimes she comes with me. It works for us and I like to think I set a good example for her. You will feel guilty regardless, trust me. If you love this, don’t give it up - find a way to make it work. It won’t be easy, especially when they’re little, but it is doable. Good luck to you!

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Not a bad mom at all. Your priorities change when you have a kid, but if you have the drive to keep traveling and have the support to do that, absolutely go for it. I thought I was going to travel after having kids, and then I had them, and my mentality totally changed, and I prioritized different stuff. Other women have kids, and they continue to travel and set a great example for their kids of what a strong businesswoman is. Either way, neither is a good/bad mom. The good mom comes from the love, support and encouragement you give your children, and you can do that from home or on the road.

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Just turned 30. Just had my first baby. I’m going back to work next week abd am not going to stop traveling. I don’t think we should feel guilty for continuing to do our jobs in addition to being a new mom. As long as you love what you do and have the support at home to continue with our on the go lifestyle, there’s no reason to stop. We can shower our kids with love while on the road and at home (thank god for technology!). Everyone is different though so do what’s best for you and your family :)

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You gotta do you. For me now that I have a six month old it is just not ok to be away three nights a week. Just literally no way I could do it. Maybe I am lucky that so far I have been able to be local. But I have no qualms about quitting this job if I get into a spot where I am told I need to travel regularly. But it’s all a personal choice! Some of my female colleagues tell me they love traveling despite having kids 😳

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I have a 2 year old and a 10 year old and still travel. When they were babies and still nursing, I took them with me on the road. It meant a few more logistics for hotel nannies but I am a planner by nature so it wasn’t awful. Now they are both over 2, I occasionally take one or the other with me especially if I have to stay over the weekend. Sometimes other consultants and I will share a babysitter or the 10 year old will spend the day time hours at a day camp. It depends on your project but my 10 year old has been all over the country, visited all of the Tier 1 cities in the US and Canada, and she recently got her passport updated to global entry in case I have a long trip abroad. Points cover her travel and it’s a great experience for her.

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I agree with the poster who says traveling can sometimes be easier than local cases. When you’re not physically present it’s easier to “miss out”. When you’re in the same city and still don’t make bedtime, to me, that’s much harder guilt-wise. I also struggle being local bc I feel I try to overcompensate everywhere and end up more stressed out that I’m not managing family / work well. Plus if I’m going to do this job I’m going to maximize for people and content vs unfulfilling work just bc it’s local. the job just isn’t sustainable if I’m not doing work i actually value. If you can find work you value with a great team and is local well then you’ve hit the jackpot!! But in my field/firm it doesn’t exist (at least right now) and short of picking up my family and moving or leaving consulting, travel is my current answer, ironically, to keeping the job working for me. All this to say...ask 100 different women and you’ll get 100 answer variations and none are wrong. You figure out what works for you and do it. That’s the best you can do! Best of luck!!

smart

I happily traveled until I was 37 weeks pregnant. I highly suggest MamaMio travel kit, compression socks, a massage therapist on speed dial and a great relationship with your hotel’s housekeeping team. (I needed 6-8 pillows!) I told my client I was pregnant before I told my team. I worked out a reduced travel (2 days / 1 night away from home) with the client prior to maternity leave. I knew what I wanted and asked for it and it happened. You are only a “bad mom” if you spend your time worrying about being a “bad mom”. Love your kid, love yourself, love your family, continue being an awesome professional and you will figure the rest out. Ps - I’m 13+ years in consulting, the majority of those years traveling 4-5 days a week. I met, dated, married and had child while growing a career I love. And, for me it’s important, had a home cooked meal 75% of the time. You can do whatever you want. I have faith you will be awesome!

helpful

Thank you everyone! Incredible and helpful feedback ♥️

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30 year old mom with 2 kids here, and I have not stopped traveling with kids. I do often choose a local project over a travel one, because I do miss them and it makes my husband’s life a bit easier. However, local doesn’t solve all. I’ll work long hours while local and it SUCKS to know my kids are 15 minutes away and I’m missing dinner and bed. For some reason it’s easier to miss all that when you’re a plane ride away. To help with that, I try to work my schedule most days to stay later in the morning so I know I see them during the day and don’t feel so bad if my night blows up.

I didn't know how I would feel about it before having a kid, but then after years of infertility, once my baby was in my arms, I knew I couldn't be on the road all the time. I love the job, but I love seeing his face everyday so much more. Whatever works for you is what you have to do, and just be prepared to ignore any judgment received. I rarely travel now, but still catch flack from relatives for not being a stay at home mom. So, there will be guilt and judgment whether you travel or not.

Love this, AD1!

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