I am 31. I am well aware of my biological clock and have the husband and the means to support a child. I definitely do want children but it’s just really something I don’t want to begin the process for now . I don’t know if it’s selfish to want to put this off for another three years especially because I may kick myself down the line when it’s more difficult and expensive to conceive. Any advice as to how to think about this? Thanks in advance!

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Freeze your eggs now, when you’re ready (could be 5 years down the road) it will be readily available.

like

Agreed. Also, your RE will give you the best guidance but frozen embryos are stronger than eggs. Just a consideration.

It’s fine to wait. Before you get too far, consider talking to your obgyn about your fertility. A few, easy tests can give you an idea of where you are and if there’s any reason to accelerate your timeline. Also consider if you have any conditions which make conceiving harder (thyroid, pcos, etc).

like

Selfish to whom? It’s your life so kind of a silly question to me. It’s selfish to have a child and then neglect that child because you’re still needing to act like you’re 21 (my mother in law did this to my husband). I think waiting until you’re ready is totally fine just be prepared that it may not be instant once you decide so consider starting when you’re 1 year from being “ready”. You’ll have 9 months at least to get mentally prepared while you’re pregnant. Good luck!

like

Good luck! Haha good to hear about travel still being a possibility but just fear having that baby that drives the entire flight cabin crazy

Talk to your doctor ASAP to help set yourself up for the best chance of success when you are ready.

like

Completely understand this.. get tested to know what you are working with and likely to be working with in X years.Consider freezing your eggs as your egg quality is best now and then do your thing with peace of mind!!

like

I would just get tested and make sure your egg reserves are well. If no concerns then waiting is a personal decision… I don’t think it’s selfish. If you have DOR then maybe consider egg freezing so that you can plan for the future. Good luck!

like

It’s understandable to be thinking about all this now. Def get tested and be proactive but also first and foremost- cut yourself some slack. I mean people saying 31 is old to have a kid? Jesus. Societal pressure has really gotten out of hand with this and it’s so individual and specific to each person. My friend couldn’t get pregnant at 28 and I’m convinced it was bc the stress she put herself through. They did IVF and she did conceive at 30. Since she thought she was infertile she never went back on bc and guess what? She got pregnant at 36. And it’s probably because she chilled the f out finally. I’m not saying don’t be concerned but be rational and KNOW plenty of women get pregnant 35 plus!!

like

It was very weird to read that for sure. People giving anecdotal evidence to say 31 is old..smh.. All my friends started trying at 30 and had their first at 31. There's my evidence to disprove a comment in the thread. Even medically a geriatric pregnancy is 35+. It is very disheartening to read comments like that.

get tested first .. 31 is already late in most of the cases...As you age chances decrease ( in general) ... while ppl still plan at 40 ..thats a very low probablity...

well said SM2.... that was my experience too...

like

You need to do it when you’re ready. I’m 36, almost 37 and expecting my first in October. Yes it did take a little longer than planned to get pregnant but still managed naturally

Related Posts

Baby just turned 6 month and I have been back to work for a month. Current company (in house) provides no WLB and I am thinking of going back to PA. SO thinks I am out of my mind, but I really need PA flexibility. Any advice?

like

anybody here grabbing drinks @ mother ny tonight?

like

New parents - how are you balancing work and childcare demands? Please share your tricks!!! It’s been 14 months since our first child and still struggling. Been waking up 4am to get work done, but plans often get derailed with unforeseen circumstances with childcare needs. And not to mention burnout with long days of staying up, for childcare, home and work routines. Context - male here, M, working spouse, 14 month baby, started daycare for few months now, no immediate family support to help.

like

How did you find a doula? In a city that I’m not connected to new moms. Peanut users all seem to be non responsive. First time being pregnant..

Going off my anti depressants (with doc oversight) as we start to try to have a child. Here. Goes. Nothing.

like

How safe is Houston downtown for a female staying alone with a young kid for a few months? Being very close to the office and daycare, and availability of public transport (doesn't drive) are reason for preffering downtown. However, have been reading about the recent crime surge there. If someone is generally back home by 8 PM or earlier, and will probably take Uber locally, is it still risky. Also welcome any good apartment suggestions. Thanks

like

Any rumors of PWC joining the parental leave arms race? EY and Deloitte upped theirs to 16 weeks paid leave, while Don Draper PwC kicks new parents in the nuts and tells them to get back on the road

like

Omg lady won't give up her seat so this non white family can sit together who has a baby. "If these people who can't speak English can't afford to sit next to each other, why do I have to move" ewww

like

To the Dads out there, how much time of paternity is acceptable ... Just got staffed and not sure what to tell my team

like

I feel trapped. We work hard, break glass ceilings, put in all the blood, sweat and tears needed to "make it". Usually twice as fast, with a babe on a hip - cooking, running a call. I'm over 50, solo and a parent & over the rat race. I've been putting out feelers and feeling the over 50 burn. I don't need to lead the world - a small piece would be nice, ok money. Fun people, easy roll, smart work, build smart people - cool teams. I get "you'll be bored here - we can't afford you". What2do?

like

Any advice on how to hand in my notice to a boss who is on maternity leave? I've had a job offer come to me that is too good to turn down and they need me to start soon.

like

What is your company’s paternity leave policy (paid/unpaid, number of weeks)? For those who took it, how was the experience (at home and at work)?

like

Has anyone had luck changing companies while pregnant? Not due until mid-February..

like

Coming back from maternity leave in a few weeks, and it looks like I need a whole new wardrobe...Is it even realistic to hope I can fit my old clothes eventually?

like

Hey team need some help - I’ve flown United since I was a child, and naturally I’ve flown with them through and through my consulting career. I just flew on Delta for the first time and it was so much nicer than what I’ve been used to. What’s loyalty like here at Delta - and is it worth status matching and becoming Delta loyal? NYC based if that makes any difference. TIA!!

like

Hi Moms! You guys have been a great resource for me throughout pregnancy. This is my 2nd baby. First was a c-section, and for this one I’m ctrying for a VBAC. I’m at 38 weeks, so baby is coming any day now. Any tips for labor and delivery? I’ve been doing research and taken classes, but would love any guidance you can offer. Also, let me know if there are any must have post-partum items I have to get for a vaginal delivery.

like

Ladies who also abide by the “expecting better” philosophy that a glass of wine every once in a while is totally fine during pregnancy… I am going to a work women’s happy hour tomorrow. Yay or nay on using my weekly glass of wine? (I am clearly pregnant and people know I am pregnant). I kind of want to but I also fear the judgement and having to explain myself…

like

14 weeks pregnant here with a 4 year old. I’m so exhausted all the time. I do workout (typically on lunch breaks) and eat fairly healthy. Any tips or tricks on how to keep energy levels up?

likehelpful

Resigning on parental leave: how much notice should I give? I know two weeks is standard but I truly don’t have any work to transition while on parental leave. Any risk to them dropping me off payroll immediately? For context, it is a big4 strategy practice.

like

As a Senior, what level of staffing issues do you think is the line between being a baby or there may be a staffing shortage

like

Additional Posts

Goddamn, I don't want to compromise my integrity but my engagement manager and my manager are pressuring me to eat billable hours because we're over budget and we don't want to anger the client. Fts.

like

Vaguely interested in the concept of a facial, but I’m sure I’d never make it a regular thing. Is it worth doing if it’s something you’d likely only do like once or twice a year? E.g., are there still benefits if that infrequent?

likehelpful

As an intern I’m starting to doubt my love for the industry. At first I was excited and i know I’m just an intern but everyday I feel super sad that i gotta go to the office and basically push pixels

like

Hey guys, got an offer from a niche consulting firm with a great reputation. Their pay is lower in comparison to market but is currently higher than mine. Would it be appropriate to ask them for future Green Card sponsorship / include it as part of the offer letter (obviously, upon meeting satisfaction requirements). Need your advice on negotiating here. BTW, I’m from the UK.

like

Which firm has the beat practice working with health insurance payers?

like

Black (Stone vs Rock), which one has better exit ops for technical manager role. What’s the bonus potential?

Book recommendations specific to developing consulting skills?

like

I only get 12 weeks of mat leave per FMLA, but I want to ask my employee for 16. I don’t even care if it’s paid (it won’t be sadly). Should I ask for that as soon as I tell them I’m pregnant, or think I should wait until I’m actually on leave and then play the “I’m not ready to come back” card?

like

Finished 2 years in consulting out of undergrad and am thinking about taking time off to travel and explore other opportunities (maybe even find a way into tech). Any advice?

like

I am just enrolling in 401k, what does it mean to max out 401k contribution? I googled and it says max contribution is 19k, so should I do 19k / my salary and contribute that %?

like

Do partners at top consulting firms have better WLB? An Associate here contemplating whether all this is worth it. Thanks!

like

Advise working with a coworker who doesn't "answer the question directly": I just joined a new company and I am starting to work with a coworker but I feel like he tends to deflect my questions all the time and he often gives a vague/BS answer. FOR EXAMPLE, I stepped in reviewing the list of deliverables needed for the project, I provided my input but instead of discussing the actual context, he would just gave me a bunch of historical background information. How do I "cut to the chase"?

like

Which offer would you take? Offer 1 (Big 4 Consulting M): 190 base, 20k sign on, up to 15% bonus, 50% travel. Offer 2 (Industry AVP): 165 base, 25k sign on, up to 35% bonus, no travel.

like

Good news and bad news: We are expecting our first child in the next 2mo. Sadly, we’ve also just lost a close family member. As a result, we’ve come into a little money and would like to put maybe $10-15K aside to start a college savings for baby. Does anyone have experience with this? What’s the best way to go about it? I’m not hugely familiar with this, but want to make sure I understand the fees and taxes that may be affiliated with different options. Would be grateful for any insight!

like

Hello, trying to decide between Residence Inn and AC hotel in Wailea, Maui. Any one have any experience with either? Also I know there are better properties in Maui but these are all my points can buy, so any help would be appreciated. Thank you!

like

What have been your best covid19 pm practices?

like

NJ fishes, could you please recommend places for medical for the greencard process? Thanks!

like

Just bought the 23 and Me health and ancestry. Anyone ever get their results and see something that shocked them?

like

I am an SAP FICO consultant on H1B. Got just laid off and looking for a job. Can you guys kindly give me some leads/referrals.

Do you expense in flight wifi?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.