{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I am 35 years old, and I threw my desktop keyboard at my monitor and broke both. I did this because I was playing a videogame and I didnt finish the level I needed to in the correct amount of time.\n\nI did it because I got mad other people can finish the level so easily but I cant seem to.\n\nI never feel good enough, and I think it stems from my father for 18 years telling me I am never good enough. Now I never know if I see myself as unworthy because its true or im conditioned to believe it.\n\n", "post_id": "60fbc2bd349d810024720d02", "reply_count": 3, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59d02db312fe2f0011e02215", "bowl_name": "Depression/Anxiety Talk" }

I am 35 years old, and I threw my desktop keyboard at my monitor and broke both. I did this because I was playing a videogame and I didnt finish the level I needed to in the correct amount of time. I did it because I got mad other people can finish the level so easily but I cant seem to. I never feel good enough, and I think it stems from my father for 18 years telling me I am never good enough. Now I never know if I see myself as unworthy because its true or im conditioned to believe it.

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Video game skills should never be a measure of how good/bad you are and never equates to real life. Your emotional maturity does though. Failures are common for everyone or rather the feeling of not being dood enough. It’s not just you, the most successful ppl have this- human mind is hard to tame . First keep a growth mindset. - ie. you can learn to become better at anything slowly but surely. 2- focus on real life and start with small things. Organize your room/ workspace keep things clean, source ideas to solve problems in home. These small accomplishments will make you feel better about yourself. 3. Watch your mind, control it and feed good food to your body and read and watch good thing for mind . Learn learn learn. Knowledge is power.

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First line is very true but hard to internalize.

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I’ve come so close so many times but still fail at the one hard line for a multitude of reasons. Two opportunities currently where I hope to God it doesn’t happen again, but yeah - I feel you. Hard to break out of this mindset when we’ve been conditioned by our experiences. Especially when it wasn’t always this way

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Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, Free and Reduced Lunch, pensions, health insurance, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, National Guard, caring for your neighbor, and PUBLIC EDUCATION. That’s just a small list of things I’m told I should hate because they’re all socialist. I’m not at all sorry to report that I’m FOR all of those things. Call me whatever you want.

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