I am a new associate (at firm 5 months post clerkship). Matrimonial Firm. Partners already have put me on numerous cases as well as one trial in September. I feel like I have no idea what I am doing and don’t feel like I have been given a lot of guidance. I haven’t received any bad feedback. But it’s more of a sink or swim mentality here. Every day I feel like I’m going to breakdown (and do sometimes). I don’t know what to do. Plus we’re not in office. So I feel even more stranded.

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You’re not alone, it’s a common feeling I find especially in matrimonial litigation which is not always a collegiate environment. Is there another, more senior associate you can chat with about one of your cases (if for no other reason than to start to build a relationship), ask for advice, etc.? I think you can rest assured that if you had made any major errors you would have heard about it so the lack of negative feedback is a sign you’re doing fine.

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Welcome aboard! Lol. My best tips: call all your friends often and ask questions because they also feel that way, and spend a lot of time on google. Truthfully, the sink or swim lawyers make much better lawyers.

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Is matrimonial firm the same as family or divorce? New term for me in legal context

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In the USA?

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I feel the same way. I'm 7 months in at this job and they have the same mentality. Even when I do ask for help, the other attorneys are vague with instructions. Just do what can and hope for the best. As someone else who is learning from mistakes instead of guidance, it's okay as long as it just happens once. They should understand that you are new and there is a learning curve

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I found comfort in building relationships with as many people outside my firm as possible when I was a divorce litigator. Clerks, court officers, and particularly opposing counsel I couldn’t help but admire (after our cases were over). Bottom line: you’re not alone. There are so many people who can and will point you in the right direction when you need it most, and help you find a better firm when the time comes.

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I second A1’s advice. I’m more or less in the same boat. I’m only one year post bar exam and have started a job with almost no supervision in which I have to act in advisory capacity in an area of law I have no familiarity with. I’m often thrown into leading meetings or advising various department heads. I was hired at the same time as another attorney (same position) who worked big law for a few years. Even though that attorney is not my superior, they’ve been a good mentor to me so far and they make me feel better by validating that we’ve received poor training/supervision. That actually has gone a long way. If you can find someone like that, it’s helpful. In the meantime, that old adage fake it til you make it is what I’m going with.

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When I started, our law firm was the same. I was petrified of screwing up and getting tagged for malpractice and I resented the lack of oversight and help I got from my boss. I nearly quit, despite loving every other aspect of my job. After a couple of trials, I realized that the sink or swim approach, although incredibly stressful, gave me the tools I needed to be a good trial lawyer. You can watch and second chair as many trials as you want, but those situations do not put you in the place of having to make those decisions, those strategic calls, those arguments, yourself. You don’t learn from watching someone else make them the same way you do when the only person you can rely on is yourself.

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In addition to the suggestions above, maybe it'll be helpful to join a bar association section that focuses on that area of the law. That way you can try to network and potentially find a mentor.

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Are there other associates to lean on?

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