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Lease takeover. Luxurious 1B1B apartment at Galvan at Twinbrook for only $1780/month. I need to pass my lease over to someone else as I’m moving away for job. This unit will be available from mid-Aug (flexible) to 7/13/23. Floor plan link below. Serious inquiries only.
https://www.liveatgalvan.com/floorplans
5mins walk to Twinbrook station (red line)
Safeway, Starbucks, Smashburger, Akira Ramen, Dunkin’ Donuts and a local beer & wine store are located on the ground level.
Current market price for the unit is over $2100!
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I had a similar situation and ended up not pursuing my dreams. We broke up a few years later. You may very well resent him if you don’t follow your dreams. I think often as women we’re always helping others to pursue opportunities and put our dreams and goals on the back burner. The other thing I would advise is inquire about what else may be holding him back. For us, it was he wanted another degree before relocating in prep for a new career opportunity. I also saw other insecurities later. I thought he fully supported me but in hindsight, he was afraid of me entering new networks and elevating myself in ways that outpaced him.
Does he want to be directly involved or is he upset you aren’t prioritizing what he feels are key things?
I would go. Maybe he will come around. A little unfair of him to change course like that on you. If this role is something you've been working towards and is something you don't want to pass up you will resent him for not going. It sounds super exciting!!
Which is more replaceable, or a once in a lifetime opportunity: the spouse or the job ? Make a pros & cons list .. maybe it’ll help? And think long term. Happiness, financial stability & peace of mind should be the priorities in my opinion.
The way I see it, he made himself a priority by leading you on and then backing out last minute. I hope you do the same & wish you the best 💖 good luck ! And always remember that if he wanted to he would - and that goes for anything. Sleep on it, talk it out, don’t put all of your cards on the table for him to see before allowing him to reveal his. You’ll be able to understand the way he views the dynamic of the relationship much better.
I would go. Try it out, give it a time frame, say 6 months to a year, and see if you like it enough to stay. Who knows, you may want to come back, or he may eventually decide to join you. I think it's too early for an ultimatum. Despite the effort you've put in, theres still a chance you both would be miserable in a new place
I think you should have realized he didn’t want to go. If you leave now I’d plan on him not being around when you get back.
I think you need to realize you’re not in a healthy marriage.
I’m sure he is disappointed at the hiccup, and is tired from all the work and emotions that have gone into this. Quitting is easier, especially when all this effort is for someone else’s dream, not one’s own.
He gets off easy by making it your choice—that way, he’s not accountable for the decision to live long distance or the strain that may result. If things get hard, he’s the victim whose spouse left him behind for a career opportunity.
But dude, “do nothing” IS a choice. Putting all of this on you, and leaving you to tackle a new role and country alone, is a choice. Quitting when the going gets tough, instead of working through a hiccup, is a choice.
You have every right to be very angry. Call the dude’s bluff and take the new job. Don’t give into this manipulative crap. He may come around. If not, don’t hold yourself back for him.
🚩
Oh my. There’s likely other stuff going on here. I would go and give yourselves time to figure it out. The distance may help! If this is a big deal for you and the hiccup is minor, but he’s balking, I have a difficult time believing he will be supportive in other aspects of your life. (Is that rude of me? I don’t intend it to be.)
How’s his career going? If he’s on a downswing and you’re on an upswing, and he’s freaking out a bit, that tells you a lot.
You should go. You will regret it if you don’t
Maybe have him connect with other spouses who have followed their partner for an expat assignment or relocation. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for him too. They might be able to help him see that.
I would take the opportunity regardless if he comes around or not. Being an expat was the best two years of my life, both personally and professionally. It sounds cheesy but it completely changed my outlook on life and my career trajectory.
You should avail this opportunity
My sister had this exact thing happen, she went, and he decided to follow a few months later. I think it was so “out of the box” for him to move away from his home town where he grew up that he couldn’t do it, but when she went it clarified some things for him(that he missed her more). It may not work out this way for you of course but honestly I think my sister did the right thing following her desire for the opportunity, as the priority.
Good luck!
Definitely a tough spot for you. Some of the others suggested it too, but what were the priorities when you moved in this direction of taking this role? Do they still exist? If so, seems like he is unfairly forcing you to choose. I feel for you, good luck
Do you REALLY want this opportunity? And do you REALLY doubt the security of your relationship going long distance? Don't evaluate using sunken cost fallacy 'I already did all this work so I should just keep pursuing even though it wouldnt be a significant value add.' I'd suggest deep prayer before moving forward with either decision but unsure of your religious beliefs. You can look at it both ways 'there'll always be another opportunity' or 'there'll always be more time to spend with my spouse' but it really depends on the conclusion you make after a thorough cost/bens analysis (plus deep prayer).
I used a good deal of social capital to make it happen. This was also the first international role where we felt comfortable moving forward - I have not pursued others in the past. I know that I will resent him if i don’t go. Before I start to lose my mind, seeking words of wisdom.
Good luck… such a hard decision but my thought is the same as others.. Go and be excellent