I am coming to terms that I am bi. I have tried to ignore this with every biphobic trope in the book, and finally taking my identity and feelings seriously. I’m 10 years into a straight presenting marriage with a cisgender man, who is aware/supportive/etc. I honestly cannot believe how painful this experience has been for me and how much judgement I have for myself. A recent crush on a female friend has accelerated this, & I am looking for any resources / books / communities to move forward.

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Bi F here, also straight presenting and married to a man. I’m so sorry this experience has been so difficult and painful for you. Many of us battle with internalized homophobia. Coming to a realization like this about your sexuality later in life is more common than you think. I would strongly suggest finding a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ issues. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about it.

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I’m a bi M and have know that my whole life. Many years ago I married a woman and have been happily married since. I’m still attracted to men and women over the years. That doesn’t mean I have to act on it. So now you better understand your feelings. Your going to read and maybe even get some counseling. All that is a good thing. My question is, why do you feel like you now need to be with women outside your marriage? I could have done that countless times over the years, but I made a commitment to my spouse.

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Nowhere does OP say that she needs to be with women outside her marriage. She does say her husband is supportive, however, so I imagine if that’s the direction she’s leaning towards, it’s between the two of them and not something she owes anyone else an explanation about. It sounds like she’s looking for resources.

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Bi F here, in a straight presenting marriage to a man (who also happens to be bi). The shame around bisexuality is REAL, and I'm sorry this is hard for you. Feel free to DM me, and I second the idea of getting a LGBTQ friendly therapist. They are out there, I have one.

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@Arias - I am sure you do not intend to be this way but your comments on this thread feel accusatory or just like you are coming here to critique people for their feelings rather than constructively participate in a hard conversation.

Bi F here. Came to terms with my sexuality/came out in my very late 30s and am now happily married to a woman. Slightly different situation, but happy to field any questions.

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