i am getting tired of waiting for my bf (27) who i’ve been with for 1.5 years to come out. i try to be understanding and one or two of his friends already know and i’m sure a lot of them do too. we have some other problems too so this on top of all that is bugging me. what have you guys done in similar situations?

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Everyone has different life journeys and no one deserves to unfair pressure to do something they may not be ready to do. Coming out is not even an option for many people. I’d try my best to accept him fully including accepting where he is on his path and however long it may take to come out, if that even happens at all. If I couldn’t accept that without pressuring him, I would ask myself if this is the right relationship for me.

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SM2 im glad you had a positive experience 😊🏳️‍🌈

When I started dating my boyfriend I was in the closet and not out to anyone.

He constantly felt like a “dirty secret” and it put significant stain on our relationship. I eventually came out to all my friends and my parents within 8 months of dating. I felt a lot of pressure to come out very fast but I also didn’t want to lose him.

It was hell at the time but I don’t regret it. If he didn’t put that pressure on me I don’t know how long I would’ve taken.

After 1.5 years it’s completely reasonable to place some pressure or call it quits. You’re a grown man and you can’t be held back by others

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And when I say pressure, I don’t me telling him to come out, but more so framing from your perspective, e.g. “I can’t continue in a relationship with someone who is closeted because ____”

This isn’t coercing him but it does center your experience and give him a choice.

When my boyfriend did that to me I understood the ball was in my court to save the relationship, and he waited for me.

A1, personally, I dated someone that wasn't out. We dated for a few years and I gave him an ultimatum that if he wanted to live together, he needed to come out to his family. He came out to his family and always said that if I didn't force the issue, he may have never came out.

Now-a-days I'm single and back in the dating game. I won't go on dates with guys that aren't out.

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In college, I met a guy and we started dating - he was my first bf and absolutely adorable. Everything was great for a few weeks except for the fact that I wasn’t out and we had to sneak around a bit. He was dating a girl until the day of our first date - and he told me before our first date he had to end things with the gf before we met. (This was 1997 before the apps took over)

He was out from our first date but I wasn’t… and I had a roommate so it was always a matter of friends who knew covering for us. And sleeping over at his place was exhausting with the excuses.

Finally he gave me a reality check and told me we can’t continue like this with me being closeted and him being out. The relationship ended but the best thing he said to me was that I had to come out for myself — not for him, not for us, but for myself.

While it was sad to break up, he and I remained close friends and fast forward 20 years later we are still friends and I will always love him for giving me that reality check. He’s happily married with two kids and I’ve met his husband (lovely guy) and also spent time with his ex boyfriends after we dated.

Things happen for a reason but his advice to come out for myself is the best thing that ever happened.

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Date me 🙄

What's your current city ?

Steve Kornacki from NBC is gay and unfortunately lost his romance because he didn’t come out of the closet. Find that article and send it to your BF. It was an op-Ed.

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