I am heartbroken - I ended a 6 month situationship with a guy that I met on a matrimonial app. He was not happy with my income($70k - 95k), company (consulting firm) and visa status (F1-OPT with one more attempt left for H1B visa). He wants to marry a woman working for a big tech firm and earning more than $100k/year with a stable visa. (Though he has I-140)
I was constantly working hard to get a better job. He was not satisfied with my efforts - he wanted results. Was break-up a right decision?

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

100% the right decision.

You don’t need somebody in your life who sees you as a salary and visa status. You are so much more than that.

likeupliftingsmart

Absolutely. You dodged a bullet and you don’t even know!!

like

I’m kind of perplexed at all the responses because women absolutely set a wage criteria when dating men. He can’t do the same? They aren’t dating in college. He’s already established and wants to be equally situated, whatever that means to him

likesmartfunny

@Associate6, my details including my company, my location, salary (71k/year at that time) and my visa status is disclosed on the app.

Recent IconRecent

What’s wrong with this guy?

likefunny

McKinsey 1 the thing with H1B is if you lose your job and don't get a new one soon you lose it! Even if OP had it and were to lose it somewhere down the line would be divorce her? It's a dumb expectation!

Uh yes! Were you working for a manager or in a relationship. I am surprised he didn’t give you a performance review. To have your relationship based on income achievement and visa status shows absolutely how cold hearted he is. Could you imagine having kids and how he would be with them? He has lots to learn and grow before he should be in a relationship. You dodged a bullet

likefunnysmart

Good luck to that fool. He probably has a long list, with boxes that will never get checked in his lifetime.

What’s his background? I’m curious to know.

like

The good luck was sarcastic, not genuine wishes.

funny

I would go back and tell him that you are willing to apply to big tech firms and see what happens

funnylike

This is wild — how you can feel sad over this is beyond me. He is a shallow loser. You can only go up from here!

like

Ma’am (assuming you’re a ma’am and not a sir), with all due disrespect, that guy sounds like a blow hard.
- The instability on residence status is a fair concern but one that can be solved by marriage?????
- the salary thing is just piss poor by him. You’re still making more than 70% of the average folks and honestly, the salary is left of an issue especially considering his income too. Screw him.
You can get a better job, he can’t get a better personality or heart.

like

You have a LOT to bring to the table, don’t forget that.
Find someone who is willing to be appreciative of that and also sit at that shared table, not some greedy person.

He has every right to have his own preferences and if you broke up bc of that, good for you.
Seems like you dodged a bullet.

But you owe it to yourself to appreciate what you have, be cognizant of that, and then find someone who’ll do the same.

like

Sounds like you are better off him

like

This reminds me of the time I went on a date with a South Asian guy and he asked me how many direct reports I have at work. It honestly felt like a job interview.

funnylike

So question, what was his income?

like

Same here and apparently massively underpaid!

Yes yes yes. A hundred times yes. He is not worth a second of your time

like

You dodged a bullet! IMO, individual is more important. You deserve best!

like

You were absolutely right in dumping this guy, and DO NOT look back. There was a message somewhere that you might be south Asian and this could be a cultural thing. Trust me, I’m south Asian too and a male, and the only things that this guy should value is companionship, trust, life goals, desires / wants and general openness/communication.

Everything else is Effing transactional and so myopic! Not only this guy doesn’t deserve you, if he keeps his focus on visa status and comp, he doesn’t deserve anyone else. Anyone is better than that - YOU are better than that. So, don’t second guess yourself and please build more confidence in your own value (you’re very valuable and one of a kind) to avoid jerks like these.

Move on and you will find the right person soon! 😊

likeuplifting

You dodged a bullet OP. My friend was married to a doctor and she got cancer last year and he dropped her like a hot potato because she wasn’t useful to him anymore. You want someone who loves you and doesn’t treat you like an asset.

like

Ouch. This feels criminal to me tbh

I feel like there is some cultural disconnect here which is why people aren’t really understanding your perspective…taking a shot in the dark that you’re South Asian? The only reason I mention that is that is because you may be conditioned to think a certain way, which most Americans probably won’t understand (as someone who grew up in a South Asian house).

like

Well regardless of what culture OP is from, I can tell you as a South Asian woman - there’s a lots of trash out there like this man and men who seem to think they’re god’s gift to the world. Largely why I don’t date within my race anymore based on my interactions with men like this.

likesmart

Looks like an Indian fellow stuck in a perpetual backlog. If so, You have got to tell him that he isn’t going to get his green card and that he needs to get off his high horse. Once you do that you move on. Additionally, take his picture, tear is up and drain it down the toilet. Make sure to make an Instagram reel out of it and call him out. (If you are anything like me who watches Indian movies, you’d know where I got my inspiration from). You just need to know you are doing great. Immigration and H1b struggles are real but keep hustling and don’t give up.

like

What’s the matrimonial app? He’s a jerk.

like

Girl yes you made the right decision! I’m actually upset that you went thru that.

like

Of all the things I’ve seen on this app, this has gotta be one of the most epic in a while

likefunny

What the hell. You’re a human-being. Stop treating yourself like you need to be “good enough” for someone. You ARE good enough. You deserve so much better.

like

Related Posts

Trying to get a 45 y/o sibling in to consulting (was an entrepreneur prior in the restaurant industry). No college degree but willing to bust his but to learn. Books/online courses recommended pls

funny

Hi everyone, can anyone shed some light on the salary range for an Associate Director in Accenture UK (London)? Also, how long does it roughly takes to go from SM (CL6) to AD (CL5)?

like

Any Clinical Liaison @Encompass have any pros for switching from clinical to a non clinical salary? What was your starting salary?

like

MedStar Health surgical tech salary?

like

Hi people

Got an offer from TCS , and joining in a month.
Will I be eligible for early joining bonus. If yes how do I claim it ?
My profile is IT analyst
7 years for experience

like

I see a lot of LinkedIn posts about how we are all shopping offers and how this should be stopped.

What do you all say?

I feel like in case they feel it's a "crime", HRs should not proceed if we say I have a standing offer in the beginning itself. Only firms can poach people who join for lesser salary (even though market standards say otherwise) but we can't seek for better offers?

like

Hello Sharks,

Need help on salary and tax part.

I have got an offer from US MNC for 35 LPA INR with YOE 9. Please let me know how much would be the deduction and tax benefit options (basically save taxes).

like

Hey Fishes,

I got a call from SonyLiv (Gurgaon) for Ad Operations specialist but the HR wasn't very transparent about the salary range.
If anyone is working there could you give me an idea about the range and what I can expect?
Current CTC 10L+Incentives
YOE : 4.

like

Anyone have any tips or advice on what to do when you’re representing a contractor who will receive membership interest in a startup company as compensation and the startup has expressed they do not have attorney to draft the company docs such as the membership transfer agreement and the amendment to the operating agreement? Nor do they have the funds.

like

Anyone have compensation experience as a Training Lead with some reports under in cruise industry or in general, what is a fair salary expectation?

How's it like working with Samsara - comp, culture, etc?

How much does a Senior Data Analyst with an experience of 4.5 years need to get as their salary?

Just wanted to ask what I should aim for

Tech stack - SQL, Excel, Power BI, Python, Project Management, JIRA

like

I work remotely and will be relocating across country with my partner in a few months for their new job. My company does not do any automatic cost of living salary increases for voluntary moves, but I can negotiate salary with my manager for this. I have only been with the company for a few months and am new to the industry in general. I will be moving to a high cost of living area and my salary will not cut it in the new area. How should I approach negotiating a salary increase?

like

Salary progression while in-house at the same tech company?

like

Thinking of breaking up with my long term boyfriend but have gained 50lbs in the 6 years we have been together and terrified no one else will find me attractive or love me at this weight… especially since the 25lbs I gained during quarantine last 1.5 years has already strained this relationship where he already loved me.

like

5 years of experience, Running my engagement teams/projects and preparing for year end comp/promotion discussions. How have people calculated what they think their salary and bonus should be when preparing for these discussions?

like

Has anyone jumped from one car company to another and regretted it? I feel like I really regret my decision to change jobs and now want my “ex” back lol. But have no idea on how to approach that.

like

Which offer should I accept? Currently staff 2 at big 4 in Tax with CPA license. I want to leave tax ASAP. Both are public companies +1B in revenue and same salary. Offer 1 - staff revenue accountant so reading contracts, speaking with the sales team and legal team, a lot of work at the end of the months to close books and reconcile transactions to make sure we are ASC 606 compliant. This track usually leads to director of revenue. Offer 2 - internal audit staff so SOX and compliance projects.

likefunny

What’s a typical salary range for entry level account management positions in pharma on the agency side?

like

Hey guys...I got offer from IRIS software, Globallogic and HCL...package wise GL offers 26 lpa ..almost fixed + 1 lakh joining bonus....IRIS offers 24 fixed+2 lakh joining bonus...HCl 26 lpa invoice 3.4 lakh variable..tech stack same in all...yoe..11.5 yrs...which is good to join for job security and work life balance and long term perspective..

like

More Posts

Anyone have any experience with Clarivate?

like

Anyone knows what this plant is? Is it weed or something that will have beautiful flowers?

Post Photo
like

Favorite science show to watch as kid?

like

What are the best consumer PE/Growth Equity funds in NYC? What search firms do they work with?

like

When your Uber doesn't know how to follow directions or use GPS. Um, can I get a refund?

like

Is it possible to change industry group within FDD? I’m a new hire and was assigned to an industry group that I’m not interested in. Is it possible for me to change to TMT?

like
like

Tuesday wrist check

Post Photo
like

Thoughts on moving to a tier 2 strategy firm for 20% salary bump? Would be lateral; on path to promo this next year; currently in strategy part of Accenture

like

In hand after tax deductions?
Yoe:3.2
Tech:iOS

Post Photo
like

Does anyone else have a family member who worked in Finance before you?

like

Tomahawk rib eye with black truffles

Post Photo
like

Anyone a JAG attorney in CA? I’m hating law firm life SO bad and would love to pick someone’s brain!

like

Hi Fishes,
Can anyone tell what skillset do I need as a Data Engineer working with Azure in order to make a switch to 10-12 lpa
My current CTC is 4.5lpa
Y.O.E. is 1 year and 3 months
Please help guys!

likesmart

12 years experience as a software developer. How much package should I expect from a MNC company in Toronto, Ontario, Canada?

likehelpful

I’m looking to take some certificate classes. Can anyone point me in the right direction for affordable online classes?

like

No Hike letter for people who are serving notice period?

like

What were the best times of your life? (E.g., childhood, teens, 20s, 30s...)

like

I’m in L&E and want to develop business but am still in a spot where most people who reach out are old classmates likely looking for free legal advice (e.g., question about their employment agreement). How do you all respond to messages asking to set up a call?

For my latest email like this, my current plan is to respond asking for the parties’ names to run a soft conflicts check, and I was thinking about including my hourly rate to make it clear it’s not free. Any tips?

like

Additional Posts in Confession

Anyone working remote in a foreign country?

likefunny