I am in a long distance relationship with someone who is currently in B school. He spends pretty much all his breaks and holidays traveling with his classmates. Most of the time I am fine. But for some important holidays and my birthday, I told him we should spend time together. He just said it’s more important for him to bond with his classmates and ignore my ask. It’s really disappointing and I don’t know what else to tell him. Is that a reasonable ask or am I being dramatic?

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Very reasonable. Hate to say it but that would be a huge red flag for me. You deserve time too fam

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Yeah red flag for me as well. You make time for real relationships outside of school.

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Your highness shouldn't be with someone who doesn't respect you. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are.

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I broke up with my bf for this. Not JUST this, but the b-school nonsense set me over the edge. He made 0 time for me, we were LD as well, and when I would go visit him, I would just sit in the apt watching movies by myself while he did everything else BUT spend time with me. There was always some other activity or meet-up or “section drinks” or whatever that took precedence.

How he acted in b-school made me realize that we were not compatible at all. His main priority was (and always has been) growing his social network. And honestly that’s not a goal I respect.

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That is what it is sounding like to me.

That's a one sided relationship with someone who doesn't prioritize their partner. Hard pass. 🙅

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I’d like to think he is not the one for you.

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It's over. He's voting with his feet.

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Personally, I wouldn’t put up with that. LDR and missing the important stuff? No thanks

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He doesn’t really get what’s important in a relationship. Maybe I am just not that important to him😔

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You deserve partnership.. it’s out there :)

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This is a bye Felicia

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Business school can indoctrinate some people who drink the koolaid - definitely raise it with him

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I feel like that might be the case. They travel and party a lot, a lot.

If he can’t make time for you now and is so emotionally detached, you will be better off if you just break up with him. Someone like this will not think twice before choosing work over you. He is treating you like a second thought. Don’t invest your emotions into this relationship.

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It’s very reasonable for you to ask to spend time together on special holidays and your birthday.

What’s really not okay is that he’s not even willing to discuss the matter with you and work out a solution that you’re both okay with. Dismissing your needs is NOT okay and a bad sign for the future. Developing a business school network is important, but you’re supposedly the person he cares most about in the world. That deserves more respect in my book.

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If he really cares about you he would make a balance. Leave him before he leaves you because he doesn’t care about you anymore and is using B school as an excuse because he is too nervous to have a difficult conversation. If someone truly wants to be with you they will compromise and make anything possible in my opinion.

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Sadly I agree with others who see this as a red flag…I think that if he was really in it for the long haul he would want to prioritize being with you for at least some if not all milestone events…and this would occur organically…not based on negative feedback from you…and wait till an internship or that first job pst grad school….if it a problem now can you just imagine the situation then? It might be worth having the “serious talk” before cutting ties but be prepared for the answer you don’t want to hear.

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Yeah I think the problem is all the things I expect from a relationship never happened organically from him. I have to always tell him what to do.😔

I’m with him on this. He’s laying hundreds of thousands of dollars building these relationships. It’s extremely important that do that.

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Same with P1, graduated a few years ago, I keep in contact with about 10 people, and 3 of the 10 I consider close friends. I basically just got drunk, traveled, and slept around for 2 years

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A LOT relationships that people are in going into business school get cut during the Turkey drop period. It's likely that one of you will end things soon. It's fine. It happens.

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What is turkey drop period? 😱😱

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And he wants me to understand that those trips are important to him, more important than my birthday. I am just speechless 😶

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Were the A schools full?

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Reasonable for a birthday/Christmas which are family time

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I disagree . I think he should spend time with you too if it’s something serious . I’d it’s fwb then I understand. If there’s something there he should be there for you . My boyfriend and I think 20- 25% time with friends , others is a good mix. We make each other the center of our lives . We are going for a long term relationship.

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😱 he never make me the center of his life! I brought that up many times already.

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