{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I am not from USA and English isn’t my first language so trying to understand is my nanny being out of line here. Our nanny has been extremely defensive to any feedback and has comments to an extend she compares everything with me and hubs. Few examples - you eat healthy, I am really jealous what money can buy. Why are you breastfeeding your kid I formula fed my son and let him be independent do you think he is not okay ? (For spending hours on call with LC). Additional screenshots", "post_id": "6100501fe9670800290177e5", "reply_count": 20, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

I am not from USA and English isn’t my first language so trying to understand is my nanny being out of line here. Our nanny has been extremely defensive to any feedback and has comments to an extend she compares everything with me and hubs. Few examples - you eat healthy, I am really jealous what money can buy. Why are you breastfeeding your kid I formula fed my son and let him be independent do you think he is not okay ? (For spending hours on call with LC). Additional screenshots

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In a word, yes. Not necessarily about her defending the call - she was probably embarrassed and is afraid you'll think she doesn't have her life together and if that might make you think she's unreliable. But the defensiveness/competitiveness about your parenting choices and screaming are not normal or OK. You should look for a new nanny. Mine would never do anything like this.

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You need to start looking for another nanny option. This woman does not sound like a respectful person. I’m sorry you are in this position.

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Can’t appreciate enough all the responses . Thanks a lot and appreciate the support ❤️❤️ As someone living in a country far from Family this mom tribe is amazing

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It doesn't matter what we think. If you are uncomfortable with your nanny then that's all you need to take action and either correct her behavior or find a new nanny.

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You are very patient. This is heading down hill. There are more professional nannies out there.

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I wouldn’t like what you are describing. I don’t think it’s horribly out of line, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it and would look for another nanny. I would find her defensiveness and comparing everything off-putting and would question her motives for saying things like that. I also wouldn’t scream on a phone call at work, and when she’s at your house, she is at work. I wouldn’t find it professional that she didn’t realize the call was inappropriate for work and call her kids dad back later.

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If she does this stuff in front of you/kids at home, what is she doing when you aren’t there? Start looking for a new nanny ASAP. It’s only going to get worse- coming from someone who has had three nannies.

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Came back to say that your nanny’s sense of entitlement is a huge red flag. A lot of bigger issues, including anger and abuse, are rooted in entitlement.

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Agree with everyone else. I’ve had two nannies that were both wonderful and never experienced anything like that… excluding the screaming phone call (which is still weird to have in your workplace) her defensiveness is just a serious character flaw and negatively impacts her ability to be a nanny and partner with you as your child’s parent. You should be able to work collaboratively with a nanny as a member of your team… that sounds impossible in this situation.

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I think like anything….you base decisions on a collection of experiences….and your gut feel. Any one of these items might not be a big deal…but together they are troubling Also. It sounds like your gut is that you need to make a change….and in the nanny family relationship….where trust so important…:go with your gut.

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Please save yourself future agony and find another nanny. It would be troubling for anyone to have their nanny comment on the money, lactation choices etc( deeply personal and off limits unless her opinion is invited) and yelling in front of the baby is a clear no no. She gets paid to do her duties and respect for that should be mutual.

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This is her response

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I’ve been in your shoes, I was so terrified of losing childcare that I put up being very uncomfortable and walking on eggshells in my own house. If you sense resentment from her, but want to keep her maybe try to have an open honest discussion about what your parenting priorities are and what you expect her role to be (e.g., don’t want kids to witness disagreements, want to make sure they always get healthy snacks such as xyz). But if you still feel stressed about her behavior and/or it continues in front of the kids, find someone else who’s more in line with your family dynamic. These domestic situations are so stressful esp when it’s a baby being cared for. More power to you mama ♥️

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Totally out of line, especially with that text. Do you have other options for childcare or get another nanny?

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You need to find a new nanny, OP. She appears to have an inability to control her temper and isn’t even trying to change, just defends the behavior. I wouldn’t leave this person alone with my helpless children.

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She was screaming with someone over phone and I heard it while working upstairs. I sent her a note checking as my kid would have a melt down if I go in between and step out

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I would seek another nanny. I would not feel comfortable with her tone at all.

Nanny's got issues

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