{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I am not sure how I feel about having kids. I lean mostly towards wanting to remain child free as I can’t see myself at all excited about having babies. I love my niece, however, when I had to babysit her for the day I was over within a couple of hours and just wanted to be left alone. Issue is my bf is super certain he wants to have kids and keeps saying how I’ll be a great mom and how we’ll figure it out and blah blah. I know I can be a mom I just don’t think I will like it", "post_id": "60fa2198799b3900201c7331", "reply_count": 4, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

I am not sure how I feel about having kids. I lean mostly towards wanting to remain child free as I can’t see myself at all excited about having babies. I love my niece, however, when I had to babysit her for the day I was over within a couple of hours and just wanted to be left alone. Issue is my bf is super certain he wants to have kids and keeps saying how I’ll be a great mom and how we’ll figure it out and blah blah. I know I can be a mom I just don’t think I will like it

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You may or may not change your mind about having kids. I knew from a young age it wasn’t for me. All you can do with your bf is be upfront and honest about the fact that there is a strong possibility you may not ever change your mind about it. As long as you’ve been clear about what you want it’s up to him if he’s ok with that or if kids are a deal breaker for him. You just have to also be ok with the real possibility that he may think it’s a deal breaker and your relationship will not last. It’s not healthy for anyone to have a kid just because you SO wants one.

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I used to think I was just against the idea of being pregnant and would say I would opt for adoption but tbh I just don’t think I am at all excited about the thought of having kids. I am only 25 and I think for my bf and a lot of others it just comes off as not being ready for it yet but tbh I don’t think I’ll be ready for it or want it. Not sure what to do about it in the short term though especially in terms of how it might affect my relationship

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The question of whether or not to have kids is a really important one and frankly could be a dealbreaker in a relationship. I also knew from early on I didn’t want to have kids and I am thankful I have with a partner who feels exactly the same. A person who wants kids and a person who doesn’t are likely going to have different goals for each of their their lives. The same goes for how your relationship will progress. Of course there is a chance your BF convinces you to have a child and you find it amazing after all. But what happens if you have a child and silently resent them because of the life you could have had without them? The was always the biggest fear for me before I dated my SO — what if I’m with someone who wants kids and I do it out of obligation but then I absolutely hate it? I would be miserable. The child would also probably feel it and that would be incredibly tragic. You’re still young. Talk to people who have children and who don’t do you can understand both views. Keep the like of conversation with your BF going for now. And most importantly search deep down inside what you want the next 10, 20, 30 years of your life to look like. For me, it’s making partner at a law firm and succeeding in my career, tons of travel, financial independence, and independence to live my life for myself and my SO only. Unfortunately a child doesn’t fit into my life plans. You should consider whether one fits into yours.

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You need to tell him that while there is a small chance that you may change your mind he needs to accept the possibility that you may not and see if it’s a dealbreaker for him. Unless the relationship is so serious that you can see yourself getting married to him within the next year or two, I would just wait and see how things go

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