I am really struggling. I have a toddler and 1 yr old. We have childcare but I’m still finding it so hard to work and be a parent. My husband is a good partner we split household stuff but I’m so exhausted and haven’t been taking care of myself. I love working and aiming for partner one day but right now I’m contemplating taking a leave. I can’t keep waking up at 5 caring for LO working nonstop then struggling through dinner and bedtime back to work and then repeat. Any advice?

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Not an advice but I just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’m feeling exactly the same way except I have just one 1yo, daycare, good partner that splits household stuff, cleaner weekly to help, and I’m still soo exhausted. I feel lucky that I can log off for dinner/bathtime and care for my baby but then I log on and work again and feel so tired. Not sure if it’s the added responsibility of being a mom, older age, brain fog, hornonal changes or WFH but it’s as if I’m not the same person I used to be that would work work work with lots of motivation

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I feel this so much. Mom of a 9 month old here

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Don’t have any real solution aside from the good suggestions mentioned above - but more just here to say you are not alone. I feel defeated and also struggling with 1 toddler. I have recently started looking for exit opps which was a big mental milestone to overcome bc I had always convinced myself I could do this consulting life and be a working mom with a young child - almost to the point of having chip on shoulder that I wanted to somehow prove to myself & the industry that working moms could be successful in consulting. While I’ve seen some success stories on this app - I find it far and few between and just realized something has got to give. after a lot of thought - realized I don’t want that “give” to be presence (vs just time - but being really present) with my kids or my own well-being (was finding that my lack of sleep and stress was causing a vicious cycle of me not able to enjoy my time when I was spending it with family bc I was constantly thinking about work and how far behind I am in back of my head, and overall just more grouchy and snappy at my husband). Even with the outsourcing of chores as much as reasonable (I can’t even remember the last time I cooked a real meal like I used to), etc - just not liking the feeling of always feeling like I’m behind / catching up in all aspects of my life.

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Thank you for sharing - I too have had the chip on my shoulder mentality. I just realized that my son is almost 3 and I have spent way too much of his life miserable, feeling like it was MY fault for not being able to make it work.

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I am giving birth to my second (first is 2) in Feb and I am already contemplating not going back full time or finding something else. I honestly go back and forth from wanting to stay home, at least part time, or finding a new gig that’ll pay me way more and advance my career and help me find what I want to do..... My husband changed companies Oct 2019 for a 40% pay bump. We started at the same job doing the same work, and here I am still in the same place. Makes me think how great it’d be if I also left and got a huge pay bump.... and then the next day I think “okay I am going to stay here and go part time....”ugh

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It’s such a roller coaster. Wish these things didn’t have to compete with each other so much

Start small and find ways to get time back. How much effort and time are you spending on making and cleaning up for dinner? After realizing it was taking 1-2 hrs of my time each night I switched to meal delivery. Fresh food deliveries weekly and I just pop it in the microwave for 4 minutes. Amazing.

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Can you recommend a food delivery vendor?

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I returned to work this week after maternity leave and had no idea it would be so hard! My daughter gets picked up from daycare at 5 and goes to sleep at 6:30. 5-6pm work calls mean I get NO time with her! Dusting off my resume...

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Good luck D2. I hope something comes up really quick

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I have two kids under 4years, and even though I have a nanny from 9-4 on weekdays who also helps as a mother’s helper, I have my good, bad and very tough days. I struggle often too, at times about meal planning, mostly about not making most of the time with kids ... not working out the list goes on. I understand your struggles op, hang in there. As for the advice- learn to let go.. it’s fine if you’re not able to get through your list of the day, give yourself some leeway and also Deep breaths

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Is it possible to go part time for a period of time? Maybe strongly consider this option during your leave? Also, maybe talk to a therapist. She/He may be able to help you prioritize what is most important and Must get done rather things that could be done or help you find ways to de-stress, relax, and release. Just some suggestions from an ex-consultant who has 2 kids, WFH, married to a good partner who splits household duties, and is a care giver for her mom. I had to call up my dad to help out in addition to having maids coming every two weeks. I also speak to a therapist twice a week and can’t tell you how much of a positive difference that has made! Best of luck, PwC Mama! I’m pulling for you!

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I needed this reminder yesterday, but don't forget we've been going through a pandemic for 10 months and just doing the minimum to be alive takes all our effort and energy, and we can't do most of the things that energize us and give us comfort!

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I’m in the same boat, but being in industry than in consulting has helped a bit. But honestly completely exhausted most of the times. Could you do a sabbatical?

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Hang in there... and remember this is temporary. I scarified my health / self this summer and ran into major medical issues which magically went away over the break. I have three under 8 and it’s been really really tough. Stay strong and reach out to your network if it’s feels like too much.

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Can husband not do some of the early morning wakes? Are you breastfeeding? Cn you pump?

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I’m having my first this month and am terrified of working in consulting after mat leave. It has been so difficult in my final trimester during Q4 and I cannot imagine working from home with a newborn and keeping this kind of schedule. Please send help.

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