I am recently married and have been living with my husband for 3 years. Recently I have been taking on more hours at work for a promotion. I make significantly more than him and we’ve been okay with that. we have talked about how my job is the main support for us and I need to focus on that. Lately he has been not helpful and doesn’t really do anything to support me. We’ll get into fights about things we say to each other and it blows up into a huge fight. I’m getting so tired.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

The advice above is great. Mine is a bit of a smaller take but make him find a hobby. I was the one who wanted to spend more time with my husband while he wanted to do other things. Well now I found a hobby and don’t need him as much anymore. I know it’s hard to find one but honestly helps so much.

like

Is he money motivated? My husband doesn’t care about money at all and therefore he doesn’t care about promotions. He would rather spend more time with me than for me to chase promotions. It’s tough cuz I am money motivated and career oriented so I have to balance it out. But I guess my advice depends on whether he likes lavish things or not :)

like

I think you should try to carve out an hour each day to hang out with him. Go for a walk or a grocery store run etc. Then hop back online and wrap up your day. This is what I do for my family (we have kids). I pause my workday from 6-8pm and engage with them and then if I have to hop back online at 8pm, I’ll put in a bit more time.

I also am careful not to make any big plans during the week in advance. If I happen to have time, then I’ll suggest something but I definitely don’t commit in advance during the week cuz you never know.

I have had to make some career moves towards WLB for the sake of my family. Luckily it hasn’t come with a pay cut at all and I still have a great career.

I feel like your husband! Maybe my perspective will help? My long term bf just got promoted and is working like crazy.. even on his days off sometimes he’ll go in to do this or that, and he’s constantly on his phone fielding calls and texts related to work. I understand this is important for him, and I try to support him, but him cancelling on plans or being too tired to go out with me nonverbally tells me he doesn’t care about me enough to prioritize spending time with me. It makes me feel sad, upset, and even resentful toward his work! I think you should have a talk about specific things the both of you can compromise on. I agree with the above comments that maybe you need to carve out time, even if it’s just an hour, to really spend time/engage with him. Ask him what his expectations are, and explain to him what you’re reasonably able to meet. On his end too, maybe he should pick up a hobby and go out with friends more to stay a bit busier, and be more understanding of your schedule. I’ve been on bumble bff to meet new friends & picked up a few hobbies, and my bf has agreed to plan a date for us once every few weeks & try to put his phone down during dinner. I’ll let you know how it goes!

helpful

Thanks for this perspective. I’m the one with the long hours at home and I wonder if my husband feels the same.

What are your pain points as a couple? What are the issues that usually cause a fight? I’d love to give some advice on what I learned during my growing pains with my husband but I don’t want to assume your situation

I totally second looking into the cleaning service and roomba. Great points Crowe.

Something else that hasn’t been said, but you should think about, your hours will not go down when you get promoted. PA is a constant loophole of this and the pressure you will feel post-promo will be even greater. If you set boundaries now with personal time and work it will help you avoid burnout in the future. It’s always a constant battle but WLB isn’t something you just get at a certain level, you have to carve it out for yourself.

Related Posts

Hi everyone!
I work at a big med tech company as product manager. I have multiple markets under my responsibility. I am turning 30 in few weeks and I hold an MBA.
Currently I am earning 73k gross yearly in Belgium. I feel that I settled for less than what this role could have given. What should I do? Is this a good average salary for product managers? I need to negotiate a raise but manager is greedy and difficult
Any advice is appreciated 👏
Thanks!!!

like

I feel a little crazy saying this, but more money at this point doesn’t resonate. I see a ton of exit planning and boomerang threads here, but I’d take a 50% pay cut (or a 50% raise) for an exciting role. That’s totally privilege talking, but I just can’t imagine chasing extra money in PE or lateraling just for the money. No virtue signaling here at all. I actually worry on some level that I’m somehow a moron for not giving a thought to maximizing earnings.

likehelpful

What should we expect for the July salary raise?

like

A different kind of working mom post:

Many of you have young kids... are there any moms of teens here?

I am at a point where my teen's newfound "independence" is starting to impact my focus and time at work - his running off to hang with friends without permission, etc is becoming a distraction during the workday, and the impact has definitely been noticed by my superiors at work.

The issues with the kid are being handled appropriately - this is more about how to overcome perception at work

like

Deloitte PMDs, whats the process/steps for SM to MD promotion? Especially in non-client facing roles.

like

Just wanted to share this with people who would understand. Had 4 IEP meetings last week. When the case manager asked one mother if she had any concerns she said her only concern was that her kindergarten son with autism loved me so much she was afraid of him being promoted and being out of my room. I told her not to worry, in our program I will have him for 2 more years. Boy that made me feel good.

likeuplifting

Asked for a raise and was told to wait for the annual raise period even though I was doing extra stuff on top of doing my job at a very high level and they would not budge at all. I started looking around 2 months ago and I just signed an offer for a new position with a raise just above 50% of my current salary. Know your worth and go get it!!!

likeuplifting

Has anyone had a night nurse who can recommend a thank you gift when her time with us ends? She’s taken care of my baby for the first 3 months of his life during the work week (nights only). Some friends have suggested giving cash but I don’t know how much is appropriate…

My husband yells at me in front of my 2 years old, even when he is scared. He needs to express his anger out before he can shut down. I am planning to leave him but I am hesitant because I am afraid this would negatively impact my son more, not having a father figure around much.... not the first time, my husband promises multiple time that at least he would control his anger in front of kid but never Lee up the promise...sometimes he would even throw stuff (not at me and my child)...

like

Wunderman Thompson NY, how’s WLB, culture, learning/promotion opportunities?

like

Anyone help one of their parents go / initiate the separation and divorce process? VA is super sticky requiring a 6 months separation… but I’m just lost on what to do. Mother is being extremely difficult

like

Are annual salary increases a thing? Not connected to a promotion but more cost of living.

funny

Last night BF and I went out to dinner since neither of us wanted to cook. We were having an enjoyable evening and ran into a former co-worker and her husband who I have not seen since before COVID. Ex co-worker made this odd scene about my "glow up" and even posted to social media a picture she insisted both couples take.
Anyone else ever find themselves in a similar situation?

like

Anyone know how to raise an estate on behalf of a defendant (as a plaintiff) in PA? I.e., how am I supposed to know some of the things normally included in a Petition such as SSN or names of heirs etc.?

like

I was recently brought into a new team within my agency and told that it was structured so I could act as a senior strategist. How much time do I give it to get the promotion before jumping ship?

How do you guys handle female toxic coworker, how long you should wait before you raise concern to your manager

like

Need advise, My ABCD boy friend is asking to have a vacation in one of the lifestyle / open relationship resort in Cancun. I have never been to this kind of relationship and don’t know.. contd..

Happy Wednesday!!!!

I’m currently a Recruitment Consultant at an RPO with 4.5 YOE in Toronto. I received a salary raise last year. Recently I had another conversation with my manager for a comp raise. They was able to speak with their higher ups. Unfortunately, I got to know that they wouldn’t be able to increase my pay because of the economy. I’ve been working on heavy req loads and multi projects. But they are signing me up for a leadership program with a potential raise next year. Thoughts?

Anyone else have MAJOR social fatigue post-COVID? I feel like such a buzz kill cause my fiancé still loves going out and seeing friends, but I make it about 2 hours with people over or at a bbq and I’m physically exhausted. I just want to be at home with my fiancé and dog lol. Am I insane or is this something other people are feeling?

like

We are expecting a second child in about 15 days and my first one is 2.5 yrs old. My wife took a break after our first child and we never had a nanny. Our entire family lives outside of US. With the current situation, none of our extended family members are now able to travel and help. we are worried about hiring a nanny at this point because of covid concerns. What are my childcare options so that I can be with my wife during the labor?

like

More Posts

likeupliftinghelpfulfunny

What is wrong with my Basil? 😖😢How can I help it? Thank you!!

Post Photo

I'll kick this off. What does everyone think are interesting / fulfillingn/ prestigious tech roles? What are you aiming for? Product manager? Sales operations? Analytics? Product marketing? Digital strategy?

And why?

likesmart

I have been at my company for a little less than 4 years now. I’ve had the third highest sales last year out of a team of 50 and consistently the highest outbound calls per week. They told me I can start WFH once I hit $1mil in profit, but then rescinded right before I hit the goal. They have also denied simpler request like time off, when I know they have approved this before for others. I feel super unappreciated, but the money is great. I’m not sure if I should look elsewhere and start over?

like

Recalling my first onboarding meeting in-house with the c - suite. Thinking back now recalling that they would often mention if someone they are referring to is a woman. For example, "Oh we have these two women doing x, y, and z and they do it well, a well-oiled machine." etc. I was the only woman in the room. They did not mention when someone performing a particular role was a man but they did point out when it's a woman, happened about four times. Odd, no? What would you make of this?

like

Fastest Growing Bank or NBFC named as a bank?

What is BNI?

like

8/26 check in

Active rest day today. Need to hit 10147 dynamic step goal on garmin to maintain my streak - 6 days done, earlier best was 21 days, todays day 7

like

Sadly a lot of recruiters are unemployed and being ghosted themselves.

Hopefully this pandemic will open the eyes of some on the practice of ghosting...

like

Has your company pivoted to remote, hybrid, or all return to office?

Is your SO friends with their ex? Does it matter to you? Mine is and despite trying hard to accept the fact there is nothing between them, its hard for me to accept. It is impacting my relationship and he says he is not leaving his friends for me. How can i be more accepting of this situation?

like

What kind of general investments can an auditor do? Index funds? Sweep Accts?Bonds? Been thinking about doing some investments, but don’t want to worry about independence. Any opinion is appreciated

like

Hi everyone,

I have accepted an offer of 130k + 20% bonus and RSUs worth 150k.
Today, I got another offer from a startup of 160k base pay and stock options worth 440 k.

Has anyone negotiated an offer after accepting? I am supposed to join them next week.

Vesting period is 4 years with one year cliff and each quarter after a year.

like

Salary for Senior Digital Producer role in LA?

likefunny

Nice repetitive bullet here in my McKinsey referral job description. Whats the clear takeaway here???

Post Photo
funnylike
like
like

What is y’all’s opinion on shisha? I’d also be interested to know if opinions vary drastically between M and F.

like

Are home warranties worth getting? Closed on a house in the Western suburbs - about 30 years old, though maintained well

like

I am experienced tech with 1 year under my belt. What do you all get paid per hour?

like

Additional Posts in Women in Accounting

Anyone have any recommendations for sports bras for larger breasts, but smaller band size? Finally tipped over the edge in band size and need to replace my current one 😂

like

I’m thinking of leaving audit after my second busy season. My main interest in accounting has always been forensics /fraud . Also thinking of going the CFE route instead of CPA. What position should I apply to or transfer into ? Also do I look for a senior position or just an associate. Please any input will be helpful . Thanks in advance

like

Ladies I need suggestions for GOOD snow boots. Something waterproof and that keep my feet WARM!! I have really cold feet all the time :( i cant find any good ones in stock!!! Plz help :)

like

CPA and accounting manager in financial services. I’m thinking of taking on the finance extension at UCLA. Does this make sense for my situation? I’m looking to make CFO someday of an investment company.

like

Finally got our list of new hires/interns - all 10 are male. I’m so frustrated because all of our partners and MD’s that are involved in recruiting are also male so of course I’m thinking there’s some

like

I am searching for anyone who was like me 6 years ago; sitting in public accounting, while secretly working with my small book of clients on the side hoping to get the nerve to leave. I want to connect with accountants that are ready to make the transition from employee to entrepreneur.

If that’s you – we should chat! I would love to share my experience with you, so you can avoid some pretty common pitfalls I made.

like

What are your thoughts on COS clothing store? Last week was the first time, I heard of them and when I tried on their clothes, it was soo well made.

like

I need a career coach suggestions?

like

Can you boomerang back to a Big4 if you leave after 6 months? Thinking of leaving cause I'm a high risk pregnancy, then I want to come back in a couple years.

like

Does anyone have a rothy’s code :-)

Favorite track off of 30?

like

Looking to leave but trying to conceive ( 1 year now and having fertility issue). I am sticking around cause the flexibility is great with me need to see RE and get blood draw. But also concerned I'm just going to end up not leaving if I never get pregnant :( Upcoming year will be a new client for me and I know it'll bring stress. However a new role in industry might not be as easy either and I'll need to prove myself, where as currently I'm already regarded as a high performer and gained trust.

like

Tips for not crying when you’re asking for leave? I’m so stressed and overwhelmed with work and the CPA exam and I want to take time off to just put all my energy into the exam and be done with it. I want a month and a half to finish it up and then have a week or two to decompress before I come back. But anytime I wanna talk about it, the stress and nerves overwhelm me and my eyes start welling up. Idk how to control it.

like

Why is putting on your 2 weeks notice so nerve racking? But better opportunities are ahead and the start of my own bookkeeping firm!

like

I’m traveling to NYC for business next month. First time meeting people in person at my new company, it’s a FinTech company, that I’m starting with in two weeks. I live in FL and really confused about what I should plan to wear, including shoes. My last company was pretty casual plus I haven’t seen work people like 1.5 years. Welcome any suggestions - thank you!!

like

Hi friends! I’m planning on moving in with my long term boyfriend. He makes about 60-70k and I make 105k. Originally I was going to split rent equally but the feminist in me says it should be split based on income. Have you all been in a similar position and what was your decision?

like

My lease renewal papers just came through and it’s approx 18% in Chelsea NYC. Any advice on how to go about negotiating? My previous leases (at other apartments) usually increase by $50 so I’ve never had to negotiate before. I’m terrible with these things. Any help will be appreciated.

like

The past year and a half has been rough for many of us. What is one piece of positive advice or encouragement you would give to yourself or a fellow female professional? I tell myself every day, "You are a powerhouse!" and I always make a habit of sending positive vibes to my girlfriends whether its a simple "Have a nice day!" or "Good morning queen."

likeupliftinghelpful

Ladies, can I have some recommendation on standing desk? I really appreciate it 😊

like

Any suggestions on luggage 🧳 that can hold two weeks of clothes?
Also super random but any suggest for light weight sunscreen ?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal