I am soooo scared of delivery šŸ˜« and the pain that comes during labor and after that I am loosing sleep...

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I had two kids and two epidurals. The ā€œI did it naturalā€ bragging shit is dumb, so you should not use that as a reason to not use three medications available to you. If you are worried about the pain, I highly recommend them. I waited until about 7cm with my first and then they have my stubborn ass the epidural.... girl, it like a damn Disney movie. The birds were singing, the sun was shining through the window, and the room was full of color again.

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Haha that was exactly my experience! I felt so great and so much relief I was like I think I should take a quick nap...in the middle of labor šŸ¤£

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A1, everyone is free to make their own choices about labor. For whatever reason I feel compelled to never mention IRL that I had unmedicated births to avoid offending those who didnā€™t. I feel it was a huge accomplishment for me and resent having to hide it due to comments like yours about it being ā€œdumbā€.

I go out of my way to say unmedicated instead of natural so as not to make people who got medication feel their births were unnatural - regardless on how I feel personally about their decision. It would be great to be in the receiving end of some consideration.

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Thank you. I donā€™t know if weā€™ll ever get to a place where everyone can openly celebrate themselves on this. I guess avoiding the topic altogether is an improvement over outright derision? Sorry you had to experience that.

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Get the epidural. I was terrified too but I would go through labor 100 more times. The epidural was great enough to where I napped between contractions. Get. The. Epidural.

likeuplifting

You got this mama! Iā€™m so happy for you & hope you have a healthy delivery! After the epidural my experienced did a complete 180.. it was a really cool experience, I stayed as calm as can be, and I had a lot of fun with my nurses and doctor. Enjoy it; it truly is an incredible experience.

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I mean....epidurals usually work with a high degree of certainty. I highly recommend them šŸ˜ƒ Also, there are other medications to help take the edge off that will not numb you completely.

But if you arenā€™t able to use them for whatever reason, breathing exercise, aromatherapy, gentle music all help in the earlier stages of labor. When it is pushing time, just remember, that it wonā€™t last forever and many women have given birth, naturally and medicated, and the vast majority have survived and are enjoying their new babies!!!

I hope these words are helpful. YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU GOT THIS MAMA!!!

likeupliftinghelpful

If I recall, they waited until I was having a contraction to stick the needle in to numb my back. I didnā€™t even notice it.

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A couple of things that helped me:
1) I took a birth class that was taught by an L&D nurse who teaches L&D nurses. It was great because she covered all the possibilities of how labor might go. She also helped my husband understand how to be helpful. There was no bias or preference for natural, epidural, c-section. Iā€™m in DC and can share the class info if you happen to be in the area.

2) We donā€™t talk much about what delivery actually feels like. For me, contractions felt like really bad menstrual cramps. I laid in bed early on, under the warm covers, rested and timed my contractions. As I went into transition the contractions got closer together and I would have to stop moving, kneel down, brace myself. Then the contraction would pass and I would be left with an unbelievable amount of pressure. Eventually, I felt an incredible urge to push everything inside my body out through my bottom half. Then it was time to push! Pain during the actual delivery part was more like being at the end of an intense workout and needing to summon all of your muscles from head to toe to get through the last few reps with a heavy weight. You use every muscle in your body. There was so much adrenaline and my body was just going. I canā€™t say that it wasnā€™t painful, itā€™s just I was so focused and my body was like, ā€œyep weā€™re doing thisā€ and I was trying to listen to the nurses and doctors that I didnā€™t have much time to really think about how it felt. I know everyone has a different birth story and experience, but perhaps hearing a few here will help reassure you.

3) You feel like you were hit by a truck the next day. (See my comment about about intense workout). Ibuprofen for a week or two, lots of water, rest when the babyā€™s rests. Sit on the couch all day. Ask for help, especially with non-baby related things like cooking and laundry.

4) I know itā€™s cliche, but I found it to be completely true ā€” your body is built for this. Keep telling yourself that. Trust it. Breathe deep.

5) I did prenatal yoga and I found it really felt good during the third trimester to move, stretch, and open up my hips. Even if you are in your last few weeks, you may find some goodness in trying a drop-in prenatal yoga class close by.


Iā€™ve had two natural deliveries and was fortunate to have everything go smoothly. While itā€™s not the case with everyone, I do think we hear about and retain the more difficult and dramatic birth stories.

Congratulations on your little one!

likehelpful

Labor is less about handling pain and more about maintaining your strength and having endurance to be able to push when the time comes. If that means taking epidural or other drug options, take it.

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Youā€™ll forget all about the pain of delivery within one week of the newborn stage. Donā€™t sweat it!

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I delivered yesterday and while it was extra rough (piles on piles of complications over more than a day), I swear I donā€™t feel any pain when I look at my son. Itā€™s totally worth it and bodies heal. The natural hormone ā€œdrugsā€ are mad impressive for helping the brain forget pretty quickly.

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@SC2 congrats!!

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I was terrified too. Just breath through the contractions and try to relax. Once the contractions are close enough to go to the hospital, get the epidural as soon as you can. Afterwards, I took either Tylenol or Advil. I was so tired and struggling with breastfeeding that I didnā€™t notice the pain.

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And most importantly - you got this!! Also, but the time labor rolls around you will most likely be so done being pregnant that the fear will be replaced with an intense desire to get the baby out!

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Hahaha true :) pregnancy in last weeks is so draining

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Watch Labor and delivery story videos on YouTube and show them to your partner - this was super helpful for me to demystify the process. Then make a plan and be ready to change it. I wanted a natural unmedicated birth and ended up requesting an epidural and it was the right thing for me.

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I really like this suggestion!

Try to handle your fear; so much of the birth process is mental. Just remember this is something your body can handle, and if you try not to fight the contractions and just let your body do its thing, it'll go faster. I had a drug-free natural birth and it was the full day of contractions that was harder than actually pushing the baby out. For me, having the situation I wanted (highly skilled midwives attending, hospital close by) made it a great experience. What surprised me was how much physical recovery was required afterward. Everyone is totally different, but I'd recommend pre-booking appointments 2-6 months out for pelvic floor evaluation/rehab, and thorough bloodwork (making sure you're not deficient in anything, and thyroid/hormones are ok), etc. And set yourself up with a strong support network for both emotional and physical support in those early months.

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For labor - epidural. I had a ā€œnaturalā€ and opted for an epidural this time, no pain. Pain afterwards is completely manageable (assuming no crazy complications or 4th tear) and even then they can give you pain meds. Canā€™t do much about the sleep but you could get a night nurse to help as needed. Itā€™s really not bad, I swear. Yes you will be sore, yes there will be ā€œpain,ā€ yes you will be tired, but itā€™s so worth it for the baby at the end.

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Educate yourself - wonā€™t make the anticipatory fear go away but itā€™s better than leaving it unknown.

Natural childbirth the Bradley way is a great primer on the physiological birth process and strategies anyone can use whether medicated or not.

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Agree. Childbirth seems scary because our culture loves to "celebrate" negative birth stories, you never hear about the awesome or uneventful births. You may get something out of hypnobirthing, which is similar to Bradley but doesn't require a partner. Both focus on meditation as a way to relax your body (and speed up labour). Hypnobirthing in particular encourages practising relaxations during pregnancy so your body is used to it by the time labour starts.

If it helps, I thought that childbirth pain wasn't that bad and had a natural delivery. It helps that your body forgets it within the first 24 hours too.

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I practiced hypnobirthing during my pregnancy and had a baby without epidural. Trust me everything will be ok. Our body is meant to birth a baby.

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Read everything by Ina May gaskin

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I agree! I read her recent book and the birth stories helped me wrap my head around it a bit. To be fair, I delivered yesterday and it was way different than I expected, but Iā€™m still thankful for the prep I did.

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I had an anesthesiology consult which was super helpful. I was worried about the fairly rare side effect of the epidural headache and it was great hearing from a pro about what the plan would be if it happened to me. I felt way less stressed afterwards. Good luck!

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Thank you girls for your feedbacks, really helpful!! Kudos to all of you strong mamas ā¤ļø

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I was exactly in your shoes four weeks ago before giving birth. You will get through it, and agree with D1, I donā€™t even remember delivery or pregnancy; this newborn care is shocking..no sleep

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Definitely get the epidural! Labor isnā€™t so terrible ā€” the recovery was worse for me but I pushed for two hours and my body felt it afterwards. šŸ„“

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