I am working with someone ( he reports to me) who doesn’t consider my feedback or opinions. He has been on the engagement longer than me and anytime if he has questions he decides that I wouldn’t have

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I would keep in mind that this person probably does know the ropes more than you at this point and may have been used to more independence with other managers. I would have a discussion about roles with the SM and discuss expectations around deliverable review more explicitly so everyone is on the same page. Also make sure that your feedback is truly necessary and helpful and not just your opinion/minor preferences. He might be avoiding review cycles if he finds them to be onerous and unhelpful for getting to the desired result (it does sound like the client is happy with the work...)

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Answer . There was an earlier lead who was removed from the engagement due to performance issues - he goes back to him for questions . It has come to a point where he sent a deliverable to client without me reviewing and his answer was what’s the big deal the client approved it and it’s faster as he directly sent to client. He is seen as a smart guy so my boss is like may be he doesn’t see you as smart enough (jokingly).
One of my coworkers (woman) mentioned to me that he is like this generally to women ( as we are in tech and he thinks women can’t and don’t code ) . I don’t think he has problem based on gender though . Any comments on how to handle ?

I think that response from your boss is unacceptable. Did you get more than that?

I'd ask your boss what the expectations are for your role vs the direct report. Then explain to him how you do work and ask for support in that approach.

If you don't have the backing from the boss, this guy is going to continue to undermine/exclude/discount you.

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Assuming you own the client relationship, discuss with client - manage the client relationship so that they know to ask if you've approved what he submits to them. If you do not own the client relationship ask whoever does own it for their advice on the situation. Sending in work without supervisor approval is a huge concern.

I would hesitate to take this advice as it relates to asking the client. Putting your client in the middle of your office politics or issues is not at all advisable.

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Have you sat down with this person and discussed both of your career experiences, aspirations and roles in the project? Also your boss needs to back you and re-confirm the message to this guy that you need to approve the work before it goes to client. Ask your boss to confirm that once you and this guy have had a conversation. I also think a firm and direct conversation about expectations could work as he may he used to just getting away with it.

Agree with above and would opt for that, especially if he's not sending in bad work to the client.

Well both your boss and your direct report’s behaviors are inappropriate. Definitely try asking your boss for backing and see how he responds. But also think about how you can be assertive, show your value and get ahead of your direct report. There is a reason why you are the boss not him.

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